Ballerina And The Best
by Sam Cuddles
Summary: Working under ROH landed a young Phillip Brooks, known as CM Punk in Union City, New Jersey, where he literally stumbled upon a flying fluttering butterfly. From poverty and despair, companionship and love blossomed until one day the butterfly had flown far away and he went on to be the best in the world.
1. Chapter 1

**I like have zero resistance against new plots and love me more #AJPunk with that said...**

**Happy reading and review if you like it :)**

* * *

**Mid July 2004**

"…love you mum" she flew past her mother, her lips barely grazing the cheek before she was gone in a whirl of dark hair, fluttering fluffy white and a bouncy gym bag.

"Love you too sweet-"the rest of the sentence laid frozen on Sophia`s lips as she watched her youngest daughter slam the front door shut behind her not waiting to hear her mother`s replay. She shook her head, hair the same shade as April`s bouncing with the movement. The sewing machine she had was setup in front of a big window and she watched ,foot pressing on the paddle, as April crossed over the street to the other side; waving around to kids who were playing with an old ball before she rounded a corner and disappeared from view.

"She gone?" her eldest daughter came through the doorway that separated the kitchen from the small living room, an apple in hand and a magazine in the other. She nodded bunching the fabric together to sew, the shiny material was enticing under the direct sunlight, the green and purple meshed well together and she knew it will look more beautiful once Vanessa put it on for her graduation prom next week.

"Yeah, she barely hangs at home anymore. Always practicing and giving me a headache with the music she hears all the time"

"Leave her be Nessa, this is the only thing that is making your sister happy these days, with your brother gone in the army, your father working three jobs, this is her escape"

"What`s the point Ma? We`ll be out in the streets if we don't pay the mortgage payment next month, and we`ll have to move again. All I see is she is sitting herself up for heartbreak"

Sighing, her foot stilled and her shoulders slumped as if an invisible heavy weight was pressing on them and Sophia looked well into her sixties rather than late thirties.

"I am sorry Ma, I didn't mean to upset you. It`s just things are tense right now and once I graduate I will be able to find a full time job and help with things around here. I don't want the little brat sad that`s all" she wrapped her arms around her mother`s neck, pressing a firm kiss to her round caramel cheek, the same tone as April`s who was the spitting image of her mother while she and Chris took more after their father.

"I know sweetheart, and she loves you too. She was able to get some cash working at a local place, three blocks from here. Who do you think bought the fabric for your dress and those shoes?"

"April bought those?" chocked, she felt her eyes sting with something.

"Yeah. You see we are all here a team. You, April, me and your father"

* * *

The large steel door whined in protest as she pushed hard to close it, it sounded in serious need of oiling, but that was the least of her problems with this place. It was dank, humid and dusty. It echoed a lot since it was bare with little to no furniture. An old beat up coach that was pushed to the far wall, a chair with a broken leg laid upside down and an old steel table. That was it which suited her needs just fine.

This old warehouse has been her home away from home for the last five months, when she discovered it by chance and after asking around, the building was supposed to be torn down years and years ago but no one wanted the hassle. From outside it was littered with graffiti, some of them were silly while others were colored beautifully and drawn artistically. After a week of trying to clean it from the inside to a manageable degree, the floor that had piles of dust was spotless and now covered in old mismatched rugs and old stiff gym mats from her school. So now she had a really big open space to practice with no interruptions, no yelling about closing the school`s gym , where she could twirl and twirl to her heart`s content.

The steel table was big enough to set all her stuff on it. A mirror, a clear plastic bag with two halves of a sandwich, a large bottle of water, her jump rope and her small stereo. The bag could fit underneath where she put her regular clothes.

She gathered her hair, twisting the locks and securing them in place in a neat tight bun. She put her jacket atop of the open bag before taking the jump rope to begin her routine warm up. She did a 100 jump before doing some stretches and back flips trying to get her muscles to relax and warmed up for her practice. She pulled the jogging pants that threatened to swallow her, she pulled the fluffy white 3 layers of tulle over her legs and settled it high on her waist. Her small pearly trusty and worn pointe shoes were next as she twisted the satin wraps around her ankles before securing it. She walked laughing to where the small stereo was, she couldn't get over how ridiculous she must look trying to walk normally in a ballet shoes with feet pointing to different directions.

Soon the music filled the four walls of the warehouse and she lost herself in a haze of twirls, jumps, spins, splits and feelings like always. Ballet was her escape from the harsh reality she lived in, where she was the main actress, the story and the storyteller and this old condemned warehouse was here grand stage.

* * *

He scratched his hybrid locks, black roots and golden blonde long locks that lay in disarray over his forehead, around his ears ; the tips touching his shoulders. He looked at the address on the paper in his hand and around for a sign tha...ah there.

Now he was more confused than ever. It seemed like he was at the right address but the fuck?

Will this warehouse that looked ready to fall at any seconds was going to be the center for their house shows in Jersey? No this must be a prank that Colt was behind.

"Excuse-" he watched as a young woman who couldn't be more than 20 scurry around after she took one look at him. He knew he looked like a kid who was high on drugs among other suspicious materials. The tattoos on his arms and the lip ring and she probably thought he was in a gang or something.

Shrugging, he walked to the steel rusty door, noting it was ajar and seemed to leak some god awful classical music. He pushed with a little grunt as it gave away under his strength, the music becoming louder and louder and he really got the feeling that he wasn't alone in this creepy old warehouse.

It would make sense if it was a prank. Them insisting he go check it out, the music, and the feeling he was starting to get. Expecting Colt and the rest of ROH crew to jump and surprise him he walked further into the room only to find something he didn't think he would stumble upon in his stay in Jersey... or ever.

A butterfly. And as cheesy as that sounded he couldn't find another word to describe it..her.. it. She really did look like a butterfly going from flower to flower barely touching the petals as this girl`s feet barely grazed the ground; her legs twisted, turned, her body moving seamlessly in the open area like that butterfly flying freely in an open field.

She couldn't be more than fifteen with how small she looked, but again appearances were deceiving if he learned anything while on the road. Small tendrils escaped that mean tight bun framing her face and sticking to her sweaty neck, that suggested she was doing this for a while now. Her hands were flowing with much ease as the rest of her body screaming hard work and years of perfecting the moves, her face was set in concentration barely paying attention to the surroundings around her. With the type of neighborhood this was and the danger that loomed the poorer sections of the city, it was dangerous to be out on your own after dark, especially a young beautiful woman such as this one.

Why in the hell was he feeling this protective over a complete stranger?

Deciding he had enough, he walked to the where the music was playing hitting the stop button and turned around to face her.

She was in mid twirl when the melodic tunes halted and she turned, probably the old device had finally had enough and decided to die on her mid practice. She jumped, eyes wide as she saw a 6 ft something man with tattoos covering his arms was looking at her bemused by her reaction.

"Who are you?"

"Good question. Who are **you**?"

Dread filled her and she felt her stomach drop. Was he here to hurt her? rape her? kill her? or all of the above.

"Relax doll face if I wanted to hurt you, I would have done so a long time ago" he saw the fear fill her haz.. no dark brown eyes as he got closer to her and she matched him stepping back and away from him.

"So what are you a ballerina or something?" the music, the moves and the outfit all suggested that.

"What do you want? what are you doing here?"

"I was told this is an old abandoned warehouse not a ballet studio" he knew it wasn't one, no matter how poor the neighborhood was they could certainly afford to make it more suitable.

"It isn't, I just practice here. Are you an inspector with the city council?"

He motioned to himself "Sweetheart do I look like I work in the city`s council?" she probably deemed him harmless as she moved around, putting her jacket on, slipping her ballet shoes and taking large sips of water.

"Then what are you doing here?" breathless she wiped her sweaty forehead, thankful her cheeks were already flushed and the blush of having him watch her with those olive green orbs would be passed from hours of dancing.

"The city had let us borrow this place as a temporary place of business while we are in town"

"What sort of business?"

"What is this 20 questions?" this kid certainly got balls and gut "Wrestling"

"So what are you the water boy? you fetch them towels and run errands?"

He felt his temper rise, and his fist clenching "Actually I wrestle. Pretty good too" he said through clenched teeth. Why did he feel the need to prove his worth to her?

"OK, whatever helps you sleep at night. So how long you`ll be in town?" she started throwing her stuff in her bag, slipping her jeans under the skirt, her chucks following. She shouldered her bag, going to unplug the stereo. Her mum was bound to worry anyway.

"Hard to say. Sorry to put you out"

"Oh don't worry I am sure we can work something out. There is big enough room for a bunch of angry men and a poor struggling ballerina. Maybe I can open shows for you."

"What do you know about wrestling anyways?" the answer she was going to give reminded her of her brother who used to sit hours with her telling her all he knew about wrestling.

"I know a lot more than you think, champ" she passed him, noting how tall he was and how much bulkier this close up.

"So I guess we`ll be seeing you around then" She turned around, giving the nameless stranger a small smile.

"Maybe."

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows.**

**I am not really familiar with all things about ROH, so in advance I apologize.**

**The second installment, happy reading everyone :)**

* * *

The next day she stood infront of the steel rusty door that now had a large poster with 'ROH' centered it in bold letters. Even without reading at the bottom what ROH stood for, she knew from the endless days of sitting with her brother Chris infront of the small TV watching Ring Of Honor shows. Those days seemed like a long time ago, it was the only thing she and Chris had for themselves; watching wrestling.

Nessa never seemed interested of things outside of fashion and the girly girls stuff and so wrestling shows were a thing of her and Chris, an unlikely love for a girl aspiring to be a prima ballerina dancing with the New York City Ballet, but again she was always her own person, one that couldn't be made to fit a certain mold. So what if she wasn't on of those who were all about practice, hot guys and the girly girls her sister was into. So what if she watched a bunch of sweaty men beat each other up, dressed a little tom boyish once her tutu was tucked away, enjoyed comics and video games. All of those helped April become April.

"So are you gonna stand here all day or actually go in like this century?" behind her, her sister`s voice brought her back to where she was still standing. If she looked she would find Nessa with a bored look on her face, inspecting her nail and tapping her high heels impatiently.

The door, she noted, no longer whined in protest as she pushed it open. The warehouse that was only yesterday bare save for a coach, a table and a broken chair was filled with machines, punching bags, two vending machines and a six...no make that seven squared rings and that was only at a first glance and the broken showers would no doubt fixed or on the way to be fixed and working again. It looked like they were making this warehouse their command center and a make shift gym for their wrestlers.

_Good, that means the shows wont be held here and I can practice in the second level._

"Oh baby sister I know now why I have always loved you" her sister`s voice carried an appreciative tune to it, no doubt starting to notice the buffed men filling the place. Men who were starting to notice two very young, very beautiful girls were within touching distance. Quick to think and before this very compromising situation could become a really ugly situation, she squared her shoulders, marching to a guy sitting on a chair next to the vending machine, her skin crawling with the leering looks as she passed them.

"Excuse me!"

Scott Colton, or known by his ring name as Colt Cabana, raised his eyes to land on 5 ft something girl standing infront of him looking to ask something. Curious and confused as to why she was even here, he stood towering over her in both height and stature.

"Can I help you?"

Dying to leave this area and place and second guessing if what she was about to propose was worth hanging out on daily basis in a place fill of men who wanted nothing more than grope and much more if their leering was anything to go by.

"Where I can find the manager?"

"The manager?"

"Yeah the guy that runs this freak circus"

Either he owed her money or she was here for tryouts. _She does look mighty cute for a valet._

"His office is around the back, past the last ring. You here for tryouts?"

"No"

"Does he owe you money?"

"Not that I know of"

He could have smacked himself for being so dense, this was .."You the ballerina that Phil met last night" Of course. Short, dark, ballsy and well his friend had used a colorful word to end the description of his encounter with the aspiring dancer.

_Phil. Who was Ph.. oh so CM Punk was Phil, good ammunition to provoke him further. Those wrestlers hated to be called by their given names_ "You mean the water boy?"

Phil was right she was gutsy this little one, and he wondered why his friends was taken by her if she was insulting his ability to wrestle and Phil was one of the best wrestlers around here.

"I am Scott" he surprised himself by giving her his real name rather than his ring name that often slipped by him when he introduced himself.

"And I am leaving, nice to meet you " she called over her shoulder, grabbing the arm of another girl, dragging her away from a very animated conversation with Styles. She made the sign for 'call me' as she struggled to walk without stumbling over her spiky heels

"Dude" it was Nelson, who watched the whole exchange and no doubt gloating at having him strike out.

"Shut up"

"I mean dude"

"SHUT UP"

* * *

Cary Silkin was a tough mean old bastard who took no prisoners and was proud of that fact. If he was to survive in the wrestling world and business he had to or they would walk all over him. That is why when he was told that two young girls were looking for his office to talk to him he was prepared to toughen himself to see if these were able to take it as well as dish it if they wanted to be wrestlers on his rooster. That what he prepared for anyway and what he didn't get to do as two petite girls crossed over the threshold of his door and stood infront of his desk.

The light brown girl stood in a snob like poise and had an indifference about her. The much darker girl and smaller of the two stood defiant and confident despite the two of them having a disadvantage of being in an old warehouse filled with men twice their age and twice their size and could overpower them in mere seconds. Not that he would let that happen, he had kids after all.

"Can I help you ladies?"

No surprise the smaller one spoke up first "You are the manager here, right?"

"Yeah that`s right. What can I do for you?"

"Well before you came here and took this place as your circus tent, I used to practice my dancing here and I would like for both of us to find some sort of a compromise where you do your thing and I do mine"

Straight and to the point, he liked direct anyways "I heard about you. You the girl that told my top wrestler he was a water boy" he leaned back in his chair, bemused as a hint of blush graced her cheeks "Why should I accept what you offer anyways?"

He knew she was stumped, never expecting this question.

"My family and I, we are struggling.. no Nessa " she shrugged her sister`s hold on her shoulder "I cant afford to go to a dancing school or a ballet studio to continue my training. I only have here and with school out for the summer I cant hit the gym. So I would really like to think you would accept"

"You self train?" he watched her nod, her face not showing shame for her struggling status or poorness.

"OK, I am willing to give you the space you want and guarantee no one harasses you or anything, if you can work for me as a valet, nothing much just a couple of times a month and you`ll get paid for it."

"My sister can`t drive much less park cars for you"

Covering up his laugh, he went to explain the difference when her sister beat him to it.

"Not a car valet Nessa, a valet, she who accompany wrestler to the ring, be a manger of sorts to them" She turned the conversation to him "But aren't those supposed to know how to wrestle and stuff?"

He stood up, feeling the deal was about to be closed any minute now, he already saw the answer in her eyes even if she had yet to voice it.

"We can teach you a couple of stuff, but mostly you would be an eye candy. All you basically have to do is distract a ref, celebrate with your 'client' and look gorgeous doing so. You already got gorgeous down to a T"

"No kissing and no groping me either"

"Deal"

"And no creepy dudes too" she won`t have to worry he already knew who he was partnering her up with.

"So you going to be OK doing your thing around a bunch of real angry men who swear like sailors and prance around half naked?

"Real men don't lift weights, they lift women" she said it with a snob huff and jutted chin. She really believed it.

He threw his head, laughing. She was gutsy and outspoken, he liked and welcomed it "I think I am going to like you kiddo" he offered his hand and she took it firmly, a smile starting to form and soon it was lightening her face.

* * *

**Clockwork Comics & Cards**

The little bell over the door dinged as the dark brown with a glass window door was pushed and closed. The 'Marvel Comics' neon sign emitted a buzzing sound, flickering one, twice before it worked properly again.

"Welcome to Clockwork Comics and Cards, how may I help you?" a young man decked in a yellow Avengers t-shirt stood behind a large desk, with a glass front to it.

"Uh we`re just having a look around"

"Alright, holler if you need anything"

They walked inside, their eyes twinkling in happiness at the countless and countless comic books for them to see. His fingers brushed over the plastic-covered issues, some of them really old and rare.

"Where again you said you found this place?"

"I uhh found a card near the warehouse, thought it might be a good place to check it out " Not a complete lie, he did find it in the warehouse and he knew why he insisted on coming here. Bring a volcano and a tornado together, a clash of temperaments and mercury disposition.

"Well this place is awesome" They both turned around to where a racket sounded as someone was panting and grunting "Derek, you can drop that porno mag you`re reading inside that X-Men comic and come lend me a hand here"

Phil froze. He knew that voice and he certainly had heard that tune before, recently too. It was within fingertips as he tried to reach the memory but couldn't. The now blushing and embarrassed Derek ran past them to the back. Scott was snickering beside him "How did she know that?"

"Avengers true fans seldom read X-men if ever, he was rocking an Avenger t-shirt.."

"...and reading an X-Men comic. You again"

Aha.. The judgmental, accusatory, rude, and down right nasty ballerina. Even still, she was fiery, challenging, passionate, and very intriguing.

"Yeah us again "

Wait us? Have Scott met her too?

She busied herself restocking some of the shelves "So I stopped by this morning and I didn't see you, were you out fetching water?" she glanced over her shoulder trying to see how her words affected him. She couldn't explain it, she had the need, urge to tick him off.

Again, Scott snickered who no doubt was getting a kick out of it too.

"So did you find a new place to twirl your tutu in?" he watched as she got another stack from the still embarrassed Derek moving to another shelf at the far end of the aisle, both of them following her movements. And even as she walked she seemed to be floating with little effort due to years and years of ballet, yet she wasn't doing it with a stiff erect back, her body was relaxed.

"Actually no"

_No Phil. Don`t feel bad for her, she was still a stranger, a cute one, but a stranger nonetheless who enjoyed irritating him._

"I am still practicing in the same place as you boys" she said it with a sickly sweet tune that threatened to give him a toothache "Your boss even offered me a job at your company" _Oh this just keeps on getting better and better ..._

She viewed them one last time before she slipped in the back and a racket sounded again. Seconds later she came back, clutching a single comic in her hand.

"Here" she offered to the hybrid man, thrusting it to him.

"Walking dead..how did yo-?"

"Saw you eyeing the empty shelf and this is the last one available until we order a new shipment"

Briskly and unlike the grace she shown earlier, she headed behind the counter, grasping the comic and the mag with the tips of her finger handing it to the teenage boy with a glare.

"I better not see this next to my locker. I want my finale year ending without a search party again"

So she was still in high school and in her last year, so that made her what 16? 17?

He was at least 8 years her senior.

Underage.

"Jail bait" Scott provided in his ear, his thoughts in alignment with his.

She bagged the comic, handing him the rest of his money.

"I`ll see you around Scott. You too water boy"

"My name is Punk"

"Is that suppose to mean something to me?"

Before he could reach and probably wring her little neck, Scott pushed him waving as they stepped out. He flung the bag in the backseat, not waiting for his friend to buckle his seat before he put the car in gear, tires burning the asphalt.

She watched from behind the glass as the car got further away.

Should she have told him that she knew who he was seconds after she leaned on the door outside the warehouse?

_Nahh, let him stir in his own juices, thinking she didnt know who CM Punk is._

* * *

**Hope you like the way their friendship and interactions are.  
Don`t worry all that hostility and snip snapping will lessen as they grudgingly get to know one another.**

**Reviews!**


	3. Chapter 3

Well now that I got my third story done and finished, I shall roll up my sleeves, crack my knuckles and gun the engine on this baby right here. Free from crappy storyline, not that they ever stood on my way of getting me some #AJPunk moments, but still now I don't have to go crazy trying to craft ideas to undo the monstrosity of the WWE Creative team.

Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, follows and reads. Each and everyone means the world to me.

**Happy reading :)**

* * *

"Are you sure you have never done this before?"

"Nope"

"Are you really sure? like sure sure?"

"I`d like to think I would have remembered if I wrestled before"

"Then explain this"

Both her and the woman she had come to know in the past week as Daizee Haze looked at the TV, a yellow and a red wire connecting the small camera recorder and the TV set. The camera that Joe held as Daizee started her 'Valet 101' classes on her.

The first time Cary introduced the blonde beautiful woman, she didn't think much of the petite woman, but after she saw what she was capable of ,she knew to never quick jump to conclusions ever again. The first day passed slowly as Daizee showed her moves and the correct names for it, and that as a valet she didn't need to be a top notch wrestler like the women here or the men, all she need were clotheslines, Thez press and a simple cross body and that was sure to eliminate any other valet interruption.

The second day Daizee had her stretch her body, warming her muscles. She had another wrestler Allison Danger or Cathy, who had kept her distance from her as she and Daizee chatted and bonded.

Joe or Samoa Joe, another wrestler on the roster, was a cutey pattoty, and he would probably kill her if he heard the nickname, but she couldn't help it, every time she would see him, she had to clamp on the urge to pinch his cheeks. So he held the camera as she started to imitate what Daizee had done.

The clotheslines were easy to pick up, run up, arm outstretched, hitting below the neck to avoid injury, yet high enough to avoid bruising any ribs. The Thez press was another thing easy to do, jump on your opponent tumble to the ground, start pounding him back and forth, or acting like you`re pounding it. The Thez press was a synonymous for cat fight.

Cross body was a bit tricky for her. While she was used to jumping and flying and throwing herself in the air hoping her dance partner will catch her, somehow throwing her whole weight which granted wasn't much into another`s person body, slamming into the mat, all that after she gets up on the ropes. The ropes part was what scaring the shit out of her. Her feet were used to solid hard ground to spin, to jump and to land. The ropes bounced as Daizee jumped on the second ropes, pushing her weight down before launching in the air, as she started with her back to the ring, she would have to swing around to face her opponent and slam it hard into the mat. That was a back facing cross body.

She wasn't timid as she voiced her concerns, since it wasn't just her safety she will probably endanger. So they divided the move into sections. The twist and slam were easy, the ropes took a while longer, getting the feeling of a bouncing underneath her feet, finding balance and pushing what weight she had in her down hoping for a launch.

She was anything if not stubborn, so numerous falls and slipping, by the end of the week she had mastered it.

But that wasn't what Daizee meant. The footage Joe had taken were as she was practicing in the second level. The video was paused as she waited for her answer.

"That is dancing DeDe, not wrestling. Major difference"

She sent her a glare that screamed 'no shit' "I know , but this" her hand tapped the screen "this is a wrestling signature move, called the spinning kick, just that one have your extended leg much lower to make contact"

"No" she felt like repeating herself "That is ballet, not wrestling. That is a La Seconde spin, not a spinning kick, although the name is kinda bad ass"

"Show me this second"

"La Seconde"

"Whatever fancy name you want to call it, show me it squirt"

She set her bag on the floor, dreading arriving late to the house. This will only worry her mother the longer she stayed out. It was already pushing past 8 PM.

Her arms extended forming an L shape. Legs falling into place, the steps itched in her memory, she was more likely to forget her name than to forget a ballet move. Her heel pushed into the ground, before pushing her body straight up. She turned on her left leg, as her right extended to the side.

"OK. So the spinning kick is more like one spin on one leg, before the other connects with the back of the head of your opponent"

She was used to to doing countless spins and it only required one to be a signature move. Maybe ballet and wrestling were not so different after all.

"I gotta go DeDe. Mum will freak if I stay out this late. I`ll see you" She was already flying down the stairs, juggling her bag, pulling her jacket and zipper, the small stereo clutched in her hand. When dancing the girl was as graceful as ever, yet on steady two feet she was one awkward mess.

"Since when we let kids work here?" Cathy`s irritated voice reached. Rolling her eyes, she unplugged the camera, shutting off the TV.

"Good night Kitty Cat"

* * *

Even with her head down, hoodie covering her head and her hair, the white tulle of her skirt peaking through the gym bag that threatened to send her toppling to one side as it weighted heavily on her shoulder. Grudgingly, he`d know her. By her petite body. By the wisps of hair that blew with the wind as she walked briskly away. Add to the fact that she tried to sneak past them from the warehouse door, undetected. She probably was afraid that someone might follow her home, or worse try something with her, so she slipped unnoticed, her dancer feet help carrying her soundlessly on the pavement.

He knew her chances of having someone intercept her on the way were equal to someone from their chat group, leering at her before they decided to pounce on her. He waited till she was at least few feet ahead of him, before he excused himself to leave. Pulling the hoodie over his head, he circled the warehouse, making sure they weren't paying attention to him, he followed the path she took, barely catching her rounding on corner.

_Damn, she was fast._

_Or smart._

His long legs give him an advantage, as each long step from him equaled to two of her smaller ones. He hung back in the darkness, far away to remain hidden, close enough in case something happened. Even if the girl was sassing him, irritating him and pushing his buttons, it didn't mean he would let her walk the dark street of her dangerous looking neighborhood alone. Call it chivalry or whatever, he wasn't brought up like that.

_Why am I stressing over her? I am gone for three days and this what she reduces me into._

He had taken back to back shows with Styles, Bryan. Get away, clear his head and come back. The feelings this underage girl brought to life in him were a very dangerous mix. Irritation, annoyance, provoked, lust and admiration. The first were obvious due to her sharp witty tongue and her ability to put him down and rile him up. 'Water boy' irked him the strongest.

Lust. She was a beautiful young woman, no use denying it. Small, dark and radiant.

Admiration. Simply, because no one had been able to get past his defenses under his skin and push his buttons in the wrong way.

She walked, her step hurried. The poorly lit street barely making her see where she was stepping, her shadow mirrored her from behind before slowly coming to walk beside her. The back streets were dark and creepy and she really felt the need to pee so bad that if something jumps out she will defiantly wet herself. She cursed under her breath, damning those men standing outside the warehouse, preventing her from heading straight home. She didn't want them to know where she lived, especially that group. She had yet to forget the leery stares they gave as she first showed up at the warehouse, and the last thing she need was for one of them to get funny ideas. So her idea was to walk in a circle until she ended at the other entry door of their building.

She was two turns and a block away from her home when she visibly froze. As her shadow walked beside her, her eye caught another hooded one less than five feet behind her. Gulping, feeling her knees start to shake she kept her walk casual not to raise suspicions. She knew these streets blindly, like the back of her hand, and she hoped he didn't. No one knew that the dead end alley between the small newspaper stand and the old antique shop, had a steel door just before the dumpster that lead into an empty small warehouse, which after exist would bring her a main street, across from the back door of her building.

Knowing that someone was following her caused to her to focus, his footsteps slowed but still echoed. _Good, that will give me a head start. _Entering the alley, she quickly ducked inside the door, her chucks pounding on the floor to reach the door. Her hand pulled at the handle to no evil, and she saw the chain secured around it.

She was trapped. She might as well offered herself to him on a silver platter.

Punk walked unsure, he felt like he was in a maze, one that kept getting more complicated and dizzy. He circled the dead end alley, wondering where in hell did she vanish into?

_Dummy._

He pushed the steel door, one that blended with the wall perfectly...

"Owe! What the fuc-"

She pulled a can off her handy portable pepper spray from her back pocket as he rounded on her. When you live in the bad parts of Union City, NJ, you should always carry one of them where ever you go. She quickly pulled the cap off and pressed the button.

Punk dropped to the dirty ground as he covered his eyes in pain, feeling his eyeballs boiling and melting inside the sockets. Somehow he restrained himself from killing her, though he had no idea how. Still covering his eyes he tried to stand as she sprayed another round. As he was trying to speak, he inhaled the gas feeling searing pain in his nose, and throat.

Coughing and well blind, he fumbled around as little fists rained on his back, strong feet kicking his shins viciously.

"Crazy bitch..st-top.. aww.. fuck not my ha.. oww" he instantly let go of his bubbling boiling face, hands cupping his groin in pain.

_Ohh gods.. it.. fucking burrrrrned..._

He dropped to his knees again, whimpering in pain. God that knee really connected down there, and he thought he could feel his balls in his throats.

No good dead goes unpunished eh?

* * *

That voice. That rage and anger. Th...

"Punk" she hissed in the dark empty warehouse. What was it about them and warehouses?

"Yes Punk, you crazy ass bitch"

"What the hell are you doing?" she dropped the can to the ground, guilt filling her as she counted how many hits she graced him with and that aweful straight up knee.

"Walking you home you psycho" his words forced through clenched teeth.

"You mean stalking me home" the need rose again to sharp tongue him despite their predicament.

"If you just asked for someone to walk you home, I would have"

He quickly picked the stray can up and chucked it as far away from him as possible. No way in hell was he getting sprayed with that crazy shit again.

She was immediately by his side in an attempt to apologize. She quickly allowed him to use her own body for support and he nearly fell on top of her, "Well I am sorry!"

"Fucking crazy. Do you have anything to rinse this shit out of my eyes before they melt?"

"My house is a block away. I have a bottle of water with me..hold on"

He swore that if her voice didn't sound so concerned he would have just hailed a cab and left. So much for being chivalrous.

"Water doesn't really help get it all out, maybe just cool off the heat" She poured water on a small towel she kept with her, pressing the cold towel to his red puffy eyes.

_I could use one for my dick too_

It did feel good but still that fucked up gas was in his eyes.

"The only was to get rid of it to squeeze your eyes and cry"

Blindly, he turned to the direction of her voice. If he didn't find it in him to kill her before, he was damn sure slaughtering her this instant.

He didn't cry.

"Just think of something sad or painful to you. Your dead puppy or..."

"Or your knee to my groin" oh just thinking about it, he felt his boys clench and start to retract into him, looking for protection.

That girl knew how to fight dirty.

* * *

They walked together, or well she lead and he followed blindly, her hand grasping his. He felt like a goat led for slaughter, on his own free well.

"Step" her voice lost some of the bits she had for him. He heard her ring a buzzer, and he waited wondering how much of a good idea was it to accept going back to her house.

"AJ, I am dying of hung..." The new female voice trailed, as she would have surely noticed him and his 'state' of injury.

"Dont ask "he almost toppled forward as she yanked him inside, jumping as the door banged shut behind him.

"Ma, April brought a stray puppy home. AGAIN"

"Nessa"

"Stop calling me names, both of you"

Silence decended as three people stood at the door. Soft footsteps neared and he looked in the direction.

"April I told you no more puppies..Oh dear god" he imagined her mother would be covering her mouth in shock. Shock about a man in their house, with his current state.

"I`ll explain everything Ma."

She nudged him, hand wrapping around his again pulling her behind.

"Just hang in here a bit" her tune was so soft, so tired.

He waited for about five seconds before he stood, walking back slowly, trying to hear the would be explosion.

_"Vani, you said a stray puppy, not a stray man. And April Jeannette Mendez, explain yourself"_

_"Well he is a puppy, just bigger, more muscular and helluva more cuter. Nice catch squirt"_

_"Can it Nessa. Mum Phil was helping me. Some creep started bothering me and he defened me and in the chaos I sprayed him instead"_

_"I dont know April, if this how you thank someone by bringing him into our home, with your dad not around. What if ?"_

_"I know Phil Ma, he is not a killer or a rapist. He is a pain in the ass, but a decent guy. I feel crappy about this Ma, please."_

_"Well alright I guess I can postpone my judgment a bit..."_

_"Can he stay for dinner Ma?"_

_"I guess. Now go patch his wounds"_

He walked back to the chair and sat down, moments before he felt the door open and footsteps near him.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I`ll be done in a jeeve. Hope you like pasta"

* * *

He waited the taxi to arrive, as he stood outside with her. After rubbing vegetable oil on his eyes, rinsing them thoroughly with lukewarm water for at least five minutes ,a tall glass of milk and a large plate of pasta, he excused himself. Her mother apologized for her daughter, her sister Vanessa, snickering at her younger sibling.

She looked as Ness tapped on a glass window mouthing 'cute' and making kissy kiss faces at her. She shooed her and glared, already embarrassed enough to last her a life time then some.

The yellow cab pulled over and he stepped down. Just before entering he turned around "Well thanks for dinner"

"Thanks for the scare"

"Thanks for the spray, kicks, punches and a lovely knee. Do you always spoil your home walkers?"

She looked down, and he felt bad reminding her of what happened. He failed to see the transition in process

"Naah you, Phil Brooks, are one special person"

She disappeared behind the door, leaving him before he could make a come back.

"Damn it"

Well at least he got her name.

April Jeannette Mendez, 17 and a ballerina. A major throne in his side.

His stay in Union City, New Jersey should be interesting.

He looked up, smirking as he saw a shadow hide behind the curtains. Even if it wasn't for her long hair, longer and curlier than her sister, her short stature.

Grudgingly, he`d know her.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Phil came back today. He`s been gone for three days. Three days of silence, peace and quiet. Three days without his stupid hair, and his stupid green eyes and his stupid tattoos and his stupid full lush lip.. and of course I had to have a big welcome back receptions I pepper sprayed him, punched, kicked and kneed him._

_On more professional, less personal less cute topic. Today, turns out I could do a signature move 'The spinning kick' the wrestling synonymous for La Seconde. I got my first valet appearance in two weeks. I have to do one match then go home._

_Shirtless hot guys punching each other. I can`t think of a better way to spend my evening. Shirtless, hot, sweaty, panting, pierced lip, pierced tongue, green-eyed tattoo Phil..._

_OH MY GOD !_

* * *

**Indeed Oh my god.  
:D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ecstatic over the positive reaction this story is getting. I know I am taking a big risk of mixing two different yet much alike worlds together, hoping it would somehow work. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorites, and follows this story.**

**Before you read, at your own risk, I just want to thank BlairPunkers for her ..well everything. She was heaven sent for this chapter and couldnt ask for a better help. She was kind enough to educate me on some ROH history and pick a match to have here and I wisely choose her favorite. Thank you so very much :D**

**DoubleDee068, your contribution is out next ;) #QueenMean #TwistedFairyGodMother**

**So enough chit-chatting and happy reading :)**

* * *

**August,1st 2004**

"I don't know about this...hay oww"

Daizee, now known and embarrassingly so, as DeDe; nickname courtesy to 17 years old April, glared at her after her second attempt to pull the very short and very revealing shirt/top thingie down to cover more of her exposed torso, which resulted in the slap she just received.

"Touch it and die squirt" she warned and if anyone knew DeDe, yes the nickname has stuck among their circle, she was a woman good for her promises and threats "Look a valet is all about attention. How do you expect to distract an opponent or a ref without some skin?"

"Isnt he supposed to follow script if he was supposed to be distracted?"

_Damn that kid. She knew how to shut someone up._

"Well you want people to believe it, don't you?"

"I guess" She watched as she turned to the mirror, inspecting the outfit she had put together, turning from side to side before frowning.

"What now?"

"I am not wearing those ridiculously high heels" She pointed to the 6 inch leather boots rested next to her bag "No DeDe, the outfit I can get but I trip on my own feet, with CHUCKS. What do you think will happen if I put these on?"

"Fall flat on your face." it was now Cathy as she rejoined the room once again. The building they were in was huge and most of the space was dedicated to the wrestling area for tonight`s show. That meant less space for big spacious changing rooms, which also meant that she had to be in the same room as the nerdy kid who decided to play grown up with them. She wasn't judgmental or formed opinions out of thin air without at least getting to know the person. But she had to be blind not to see the looks she sent her ex as she watched him train from her perch on the second level of the warehouse now turned gym. Or how he calm up everytime she was within seeing, hearing, or touching distance, how riled up he would get after a snarky battle with her. THAT was why she didn't like the kid. The sooner they were out of Jersey, the better.

She raised her hand in mock surrender, her eyes narrowing as she took in the outfit that she was having a hissy fit about. The shorts were cute, she had to admit. Black, white skull on each side, riding low on her waist. It was really bound to bring attention to the way it stuck to her shapely derriere. The top was tight and short, revealing a nice taut stomach for a girl who didn't work out as regularly as the rest of them.

"Either that or barefoot"

"I can go out in my chucks"

"Yeah nothing screams attention like an old pair of chucks" she ruffled her hair on the mirror, catching Daizee`s glare, yes she refused to call her DeDe, and the tensing of that kid`s shoulder.

"Actually, it does. How many valet have you seen in high heels or wrestling boots? Plenty. A girl with chucks is not something you see everyday around these parts"

"Yeah yeah. Just dont screw this up" the door banged as she existed in a huff.

"Good riddance. Now, you know what to do. He won`t hurt you, this is all for show. Now go your up next"

"Ok, ok and ok " she stood up planting a kiss to her cheek, heading to the door.

"Have fun"

* * *

"Relax, it`s not like we haven't done this before"

His foot tapped impatiently on the floor, what started as a small unnoticeable shaking was now full on bouncing. This was among the many habits he was trying to break, from them people tended to know how fucked up on nerves he was. This and flickering his lip ring, another unconscious move.

"It is always you and me. Now we have someone else out there. A 17 year old girl. Jesus if people found out we are hiring underage girls, the company will crash to the ground, along with our careers"

"I hear you, but she isn't signed with us on a contract and people hardly notice these stuff. DeDe herself look like she is in junior high. She will be outside of that cage the whole time, no fear of pushing me into her or her interfering in the actual match"

He knew Phil for a really long time now, knew his history, about his family if you are willing to call it that. He was entrusted to his secrets, confessions that were so rare that he felt like he was indeed needed so much unlike the cold indifferent image he reflected.

So he watched for weeks now as he became more animated, the ice in his eyes melting very slowly but melting nevertheless. All events accrued concurrently with the appearance of a young April in their lives.

She certainly made a very memorable first impression on both him and Phil. Striking out with a girl infront of your friends was a major bruise to his ego. With Phil, he had to laugh. He was used to seeing girls fall for just a glance from him. He had that bad boy image, complete with tattoos, piercing and a foul mouth, so to see him brushed off with little ease was fun and water boy was a running joke for endless days of teasing.

"What is it with you and this girl? Never saw worked up over someone like that?" he sat as he watched him go about his routine of tapping his wrists and hands before drawing big 'X' on the back.

"She just rubs me the wrong way. She is irksome. She irks me"

He bumped his shoulder with his, eyes going about the empty room, trying to spot anyone. This was not the type of conversation he wanted anyone to overhear.

"What kind of right 'rubbing' you would like her to do?"

She saw the door at the end of the hallway and approached it. It was open, just a crack. She heard raised voices coming from inside, her hand frozen mid knock as a familiar angry voice started to talk

_"Who cares?….Take a good look at her Scott. She's got ice water running through those veins of hers. I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole…."_

Her downcast eyes snapped up to the door, as if she could see right through it to the other side. She looked down her body, hand unconsciously covering her midriff in attempt to hide the skin. Her hand touched her glossed lips that were to her shock trembling. She turned around walking back to where the door was that she and Scott would have to go out from, as a wrestler and his new valet.

_Who cares if he thought she was pretty or not_?

She leaned against the wall, waiting for Scott to meet her here. She couldn't wait to go home and bury her head in her pillow. She knew she cared.

"..pole, she is an irritating, smart mouth, know it all, underage girl. The words 'jail bait' springs to mind, words you kindly reminded of"

He didn't deny the accusation, merely stated why he shouldn't want what he suggested.

"No one said anything about an immediate home run. Try first base you horny dog, she is bound to turn 18 any minute now. In fact her birthday could be tomorrow and she will be legal by uhh.. 4 hours, 13 minutes and 56 seconds. 55, 54,53.." he held his wrist watch to Phil`s face letting him see the seconds tick by. He knew it was far fetched that her 18th birthday might be tomorrow but she was bound to have one coming up soon, right?

"Alright, I get it. She`s attractive yes. But I don't think of her like that. She is a good kid"

"If you start 'she`s like a sister to me' I`ll start drinking " he knew Phil opened his mouth to agree that April was like a kid sister to him "No one undresses his little sister like that Punk, even after she sprayed you, punched and kicked you in the nuts. Now let`s go kick ass" he sprang for the door, not wanting to give him a chance to say anything else.

_Let him ponder on those words._

He found her by the door waiting for him. Her eyes were glassy and her posture screamed everything but relaxed. Chalking it off as nerves, he slung a hand on her shoulder, noting how small she was. It gave the urge to tuck her in and protect her "Hey shortie, ready to go kick butt?" he felt stupid using butt instead of ass. He was right. She was like a little sister, but to him not the doofus back there.

* * *

He walked out of the doors, the 'Colt' chants loud, but as they caught sight of him the boos were louder. He was obviously not a fan favorite thanks to his heel status at the moment. He liked it, getting under people`s skin, taking jibes and talking trash. He was paid to be a jerk, something he excelled at. How many people can say that?

He walked to the ring, getting through the ropes, bouncing on the balls of his feet waiting for the match to begin. He had missed their entrance as he stayed in that room, Scott`s words ringing in his ears. If she was nervous, she didn't show it, as she conversed with him as he sat on the turnbuckle, before stepping back as a ref stood in the middle, ready to start the match.

_That girl was all legs and ass. Little kid my ass._

He paused.

_Oh crap._

* * *

She watched the steel cage lower until the two of them were trapped within the steel along side the ref. 'Colt' chants broke out, causing Punk to start screaming, angered by the action. The cage rattled as he kicked it, giving Scott the opening he needed. She tried not to cringe as one fist after the other, well aimed at Phil`s head, rained on him, the force strong enough to send him staggering and push him into the steel, rattling it as 200 lb something slammed full force.

She turned a deaf ear to some of the crude remarks as she stood at ringside. She kept reminding herself that an hour later, she`d be in bed, in her PJ. And crying.

It has been two weeks since that 'incident' as they referred to it, their snarky banter not slowing but losing the bite and the scorn behind it, becoming a dry and sarcastic type of teasing. There would be nothing to explain his harsh words.

She was forced back as she head the 'Nos' of the people watching, as Phil kicked out of Scott`s pin. She really should start to pay more attention. There was no telling when it will end, and she needed to prep for her part.

As if fates were conspiring against her, the match picked up speed, becoming hard hitting, as both started going for more than just punches. She watched Phil dodge a move by Scott, and seconds later his knee connected with his face.

1

2

3

The bell dinged as he picked the win.

_Oh noo_.

The steel cage was lifted, Scott, wither real or faked, was lying at the mat. She must have been staring long enough because he was suddenly in her personal space, too close for her liking.

Before this match, if he had invaded her like that, she wouldn`t really mind.

Now, she was itching and crawling to back away.

His gaze was leering and grin devious as he bent down to her height. Picking up her hand, his lips barely grazed the skin, all while keeping eye contact with her.

He frowned, her eyes cold, vacant of the teasing glint she had since that awful, painful night. She snatched her hand away, and he prepared to stand, twirl a lock of her hair and walking out. That was the plan, three were present as Cary suggested it, so his shock and pain were all very much real as her small hand smacked his cheek hard.

* * *

_"Damn, I'd love to bang that babe...I'd give it to her really good...get all up into that ass,"_

He felt Scott`s hand grip him at the elbow in warning. And from the tensed look on his face, he knew he wasn't pleased with that remark.

The show ended 10 minutes ago and most of tonight`s wrestler were gone. Him and Scott offered to share a cab with the girls to make sure they made their way home safely. As he learned, the hard way, NJ was very dangerous at night. Adding recently to the piles of thieves, rapist and killers, one April Mendez.

He had stood with the stunned look on his features, the heat from his cheek unbearable enough to make his eyes sting. Even if she was going with the flow, flying off plan; the force was too real to justify it. He knew he angered her, not a new thing to him, he was just a throne in her side just as she was his. But of what he didn't know, they had after all parted on good terms as each went to his dressing room.

So what happened between then and the time he stepped foot in the ring?

"No Phil" this was his second warning and he knew by the third one, well there wasn't a third warning with Phil as he usually jumped into a brawl seconds before he could do it.

He watched as Allen or AJ Styles, make his way to where April was sitting, close enough for the girls but far enough for someone like Allen to make a move. Even with that crude comment, there wasn't a reason to jump him and Phil must have realized that too, but he stood nevertheless moving closer, catching the beer can in his hand. It seemed he had started his party earlier.

* * *

"..you and me, a party at my place? what da ya sweetie?"

She was really tired of saying no to him. She remembered his leering at her sister when she showed up with her weeks back, heard him boasting around how he operated in a 'wham ,bam. Thank you ma`am' not she would be interested with him to begin with.

DeDe and Cathy were watching her out the corner of their eyes, ready to intervene if needed. Standing up she made to go to them, maybe he`ll get the hint and leave her.

"Naah C`mon , don't go"

"Let me go"

"No no, I`ll show you a really good time baby girl. I know you want this too"

He was a lot stronger and struggling he brought her closer to him, his large hand digging in her arm and she hoped not to have bruises come tomorrow.

Suddenly the horrible pressure was gone and she watched in fear as Phil punched him once, twice before bringing his knee to his gut.

He twisted the labels of his shirt, pressing him into the wall and he tried not to breath the alchahol on his breath.

"She said no. Too drunk to get that?" he felt the vein throb, fists shake with the anger he was feeling. Never have he felt it over someone he claimed to hate.

"Sorry Brooks. Didn't know she was yours"

Sneering, he leaned close, barely registering Scott`s arm trying to wrench him back from Allen "Listen up you little fuck, I catch you looking at her, breathing the same air she does, or stupid enough to talk to her. I`ll fucking make you eat your own meat balls"

Scott managed to finally pry Phil away, allowing a drunken and scared shitless Allen to stumble away. He looked back, the girls, well DeDe anyway was brushing the arm of April soothingly as the later stared wide eyed at Phil.

He snickered, she was probably thinking 'Oh my hero, you saved me. How can I ever repay you?' even after she slapped him. A slap he wanted to find the motives behind. He felt him shrug his hand, motioning for them to leaved them alone.

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah, thanks" she tightened her hands around her midsection, fear and nerves chilling her.

He looked at her in disbelieve over her answer but deiced to ignore it. He`d give her time to calm down before he sought answers. The sound of two cabs pulling up breaking the silence. He grabbed her bag ignoring her questions as he walked to one of the cabs.

"I`ll make sure she gets home safe"

* * *

**God I hope that was good. :?  
BlairPunkers thanks again :D**

**A must read, and few of the top stories, all personal favorites:**

**Dream Come True by Red Foxy.**

**All For Love by Kelzo_85.**

**In Fate`s Hand by MyChaosTheory.**

**Not Weak, Just Stronger by RuinninOnCrazy**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am my own worst critic, and felt that the last chapter was lacking something. Almost threw the towel on this whole FF thing, a bad week that was. I don't know what but I feel it did. You guys are just too nice to tell me.**

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows, favorites and reads.**

**Special thanks to DoubleDee068, for some of the funniest, outrageous and brightest ideas for this update. **

* * *

They didn't quite fit, didn't quite mesh, but that wasn't the point. Not tonight at least.

The ride home was silent. Tense and awkward.

Just like now, standing infront of her building. The cab long gone.

He rolled his neck and let his gaze drift to the woman infront of him.

She smiled, something so natural and innocent "Thanks for you know…" she sighed, casting a glance in his direction before nibbling at her bottom lip.

His tongue darted out unconsciously as he watched her do this, trying his best to keep a grip on himself. His hormones were all over the place like a horny teenager salivating over a girl.

"Yeah, sorry it happened in the first place" again he felt his body tense. Styles was in for a beating and a tongue lashing soon.

"Don`t tell Cary. I don't wanna cause trouble or anything" She rocked on her heels, hands shoved in her jacket.

"Don`t worry about it"

"Where are you headed anyways?" came out of nowhere, her gaze suddenly focused directly on him, flickering to his gym back, before swinging back to his face.

He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "The gym. Work out those kinks in my back."

Her eyes followed the movement, flashing to his deliciously bare sweaty torso, the lights reflected on the sheen sweat as he moved, twisted and kicked. His body lean yet holding so much power.

_Well, at least he has his shirt on again, even if it is way too frickin' formfitting. His shoulders are stupid_. She thought with all the sullen, vindictive force of a three year old.

She shifted and it was obvious she was thinking back on the match. Maybe it`s a good time to broach the 'slap' thing.

"Oh yeah, great match by the way. Was rooting for Scott but we don't always get what we want, eh?"

Back to jabs and insults. He could live that, falling into an old familiar territory was better than all of this confusion and insecurities around her. It was comforting not having to dwell on irrational urges. Verbal spats with this petite ballerina by day and a valet by night was as natural as breathing.

"Just 'cuz I won fair and square…"

"_Fair_?!There was nothing _fair_ about it!" One slim, accusing finger poked him brutally in the chest. "You _cheated_." her eyes were back to the twinkling teasing glint he adored.

_Adored?! Aw Fuck_

He leaned back into his heels, smiling, pursed lips, wicked eyes, almost a smirk but just not quite. His voice was loose and lazy, almost a drawl, as he rubbed at the spot on his chest that she had tried to send her finger through.

"This coming from the girl that kicked me in the balls a few short weeks ago?" His hazel eyes flashed as they bore into hers, as he leaned in, his face far too close to hers. There was something dangerous in the air, even if his expression did remain playful and teasing. "Let's face it doll, if I was fighting dirty, it was only because I learned from the master."

She gaped at him for a moment, mouth working soundlessly. He had her there with his comment. She was backed into a corner with no way of weaseling out from.

He saw her tongue poke her cheek, eyes flashing no doubt going crazy trying to find a comeback. He knew her by now, always gotta have the last word.

_Not tonight, doll._

"I knew I should have slapped you harder"

It was a mutter, under her breath and had he not been straining to hear any uttered letter, he would have completely missed it.

_Ahh, so it was planned. Interesting._

"Why did you slap me anyways?"

She had a deer caught in headlights look facing an incoming Mack truck at 100 miles an hour. She was standing on thin ice and would have zero to little time to come up with a lie.

_Breathe, just breathe._

"Do I need a reason to slap a smartass like you?" she kept her composure, willing her eyes to look at him straight on, not showing fear nor cowering under his steel gaze.

"No. But considering we parted on good terms and had no chance of pissing you off, I wonder"

_You didn't piss me off, I wish. You just stomped all over my heart._

"You didn't. I was just so into my role, and you came off as an arrogant jackass and I de-"

He interrupted her "Decided to give me the holier-than-thou attitude?" he challenged.

"Ohh what`s the matter? Did I bruise the ego of the all mighty CM Punk? Are your feelings hurt?" she cooed to him, eyes fill of mirth. That girl was born to be bad.

He wiggled his finger at her direction, chuckling "You`re impossible, you know that?"

"I aim to please, " her white pearly teeth flashed in the dark, the street lamp overhead barely casting enough light on them to see each other.

"Seriously though, I didn't piss you off or anything?"

_Should I tell him?_

She wanted to confront him on what she had overheard in that room. Tell him how hurt she felt over his opinion of her. But he had voiced what he felt, and she can`t blame nor force him to feel the same. If she did admitted it, she was bound to stick her foot in her mouth and risk coming off as a love struck teenage girl.

"Why do you care?"

She knew it was too late to cover the ice and bite that slipped through her words and from the widening of his eyes and pursed lips she knew he sensed it as well.

_So I did piss her off. The question is how?_

"I care because even though I have dreams of strangling you in your sleep, you are a decent kid. A smartass, goading, irritating decent kid. It would be a shame to lose a sparing partner, not everyday someone can dish as good as I do. It`s admirable"

With every word he felt like he was digging himself into a bigger hole.

_Shut up, you doofus._

"Oh" She recovered quickly, telling herself that she can let the frustrated tears out once she got to the other side "Well don't worry your pretty little head. If I was angry at you, you`d now it and feel it" she hoped the smile she gave was convincing enough.

"Phew, you had me worried for a second there. Thought I`d spend the days going crazy thinking I did something wrong"

He wasn't buying what she was selling. But if she was uncomfortable to tell him, he`d let it be and won`t press her for answer. God only knows what will happen if he pressed the wrong buttons.

_Hurricane April._

"We've got no jobs?"

"Well I'm sure we do," he chuckled, "but I for one would like to take a few days off. Relax, kick back, maybe a little TLC, then bring on the baddies."

"Baddies?" she quipped, raising an elegant eyebrow.

He groaned, she was rubbing off on him. Many of the words that fell from his lips would never before have been thought much less spoken.

And all she had to do was turn those big doe eyes on him and he was a big pile of_ 'what can I do for you, my darling.'_

He was pussy-whipped and he wasn't even an acquaintance of said pussy. Not that he'd made any attempts. One wrong move and she'd put his ass in a sling and no doubt his penis in a blender. He wasn't going to tempt fate.

"I won`t tell anyone. It`ll be our little secret" she kept her voice hushed, turning around to walk the steps, bristling with his words, she'd have probably liked it if lightning shot from her heel every time she brought a heavy foot down. Would have liked it more if every bolt hit him in the face.

"Well goodnight" he called after her, the closed door was his answer.

He did a little dance as he crossed over, heading to the warehouse that was now their gym. He totally got the last word.

On a whim he looked up, eyes focusing on what he now knew was her bedroom. She was standing there looking at him, and he waited because he knew she was up to something.

"Goodnight Philly" she was quick to close her open window and drawing the blinds shut. She effectively had the last word, ruining his victory.

"What a bitch"

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_School started a week ago. Really excited for my last year, lots of things to look forward to. Sat down with Miss. Johnson today, she`s responsible for this year`s talent show, suggested I do a self choreographed piece to showcase for a couple of local sponsors for dance companies. I have no idea what to do or from where to start._

_Visited the shelter today; bus smelled like urine, I`m sorry but it does. Disgusting, smelly and I really don't wanna be on it and what`s with that guy with no teeth grinning at me? Ick. They got a lot of new kids here, majority are small infants their parents left. Volunteered to make a Halloween costume for a girl. Like I don't have enough on plate already, but I couldn't resist her sad puppy face._

_I am still practicing at the warehouse.. I ought to start calling it gym/company/training facility. DeDe is cool, Joe is a big plush teddy, Scott is a flirt and an ok guy. That Cat-hy is giving me the stink eye. I don't know what her deal is but she is starting to annoy me._

_Not going to talk about that PUNK. Not going to talk about how he said he found me icy and unattractive, or the nerve to defend me from his drunk friend, and definitely over the fact that he walks, well stalk me home. I will not tell you about how he works out, like half naked. You know sweaty and soft and stupid pretty tattoos, and not that he and his stupid Scott moved a ring to the second level to train in 'peace' or the couch-turned-bed so he can sleep. He can`t sleep, never seen him take more than 10 minutes cat nap... not that I noticed or anything. Nope I will not talk about Punk at all. Never, ever, like no way in any shape or form or in my right mind mention nearly walking in on him showering two minutes ago. Nope.. I`ll just go ..over.. there and do my math homework. Yeah math, fractions, numbers, corners, the curve line of his spi.._

_Glitter. Lots and lots of glitters._

* * *

**Mid September 2004,**

She stood frozen, not in shock nor in fear. She stood mesmerized, enthralled and captivated. Here is to why.

The lower level of the warehouse was always noisy, filled with the whirling of the machines, grunting of men and thudding bodies as they hit the mat. People chattering, coming and leaving, it was always filled with activities and with that came less peace and quiet.

The second level was deserted. She had taken the far end of it to train away from the sounds and where she could actually hear the music. People left her alone, DeDe came to chat and relax more often after her first month with them, and thankfully not bringing Cathy with her. And soon enough some of the men started to come up here as a friendship blossomed with them. Namely Joe and Scott. And wherever Scott went, Punk was sure to follow. A week later, she had came to find one of the rings moved to her level, situated at the opposite end of her area, less chance of annoying her.

A new sofa bed, a table and two chairs also joined the level, Scott and Phil claiming the area for themselves.

Great.

Like she needed to hang out with them 24/7.

While Scott was cool, acting like a big brother, a role she was comfortable in categorizing him in, it was Punk she was having a problem with. Or it seemed he had a problem with her.

_"Who cares?….Take a good look at her Scott. she's got ice water running through those veins of hers. I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole…."_

The comment stung. It really did. And while she didn't care what people thought of her except those who mattered. His opinion did, which she concluded that Punk mattered to her. A conclusion she now regretted. One she had drawn that after he got her home, the ride of course was silent and awkward. After a battle of wits, she went inside the house. She had taken a week off, pigging out on food and ice cream, old movies with her mum and more time at the shelter. The week she had returned, him and Scott and some of the roster were part of another three back to back shows before another two in Clifton.

That added to the sum of three weeks of no Punk. By the time they got back, she was hectically busy with prepping for her final senior year at school. The issue of the last manager of ROH, Rob, who was caught trying to solicit sex from who he thought was an underage boy, was brought up by some of the roster, commenting on the fact while they had no problem with her she was still 17, and she caught the pissed look on Cathy`s face when Cary stated no more valet job for her, but she could still train here, since no one ventured to the second level.

He looked angelic. Yet tainted.

His hair a sea of golden locks and raven peaking through. The dark bags under his eyes lessened as he slumbered, sprawled on the sofa now turned bed. The 'Straight Edge' tattoo barely seen as a sheet tangled around his feet and hips. The wires of his ipod tangled in one hand. The small peak of his dark blue shorts, assured her that he was NOT naked underneath, much to the disappointment of her rapidly beating heart and traitorous fleshed body.

Another thing that shocked her is how much thoughts she was putting and spending on the physicality of him. How`d his skin feel, taste. How good would he smell, burying her nose in his neck. Those were all new things and sensations to her. While not shy around the other sex despite her lack of experience, this was the first time she imagined a guy in that context with her involved.

It could be the close proximity that was igniting all those feelings within her or the unusual horribly wrong foot they got off on or maybe, just maybe there was a true and honest feeling that caused her to be attracted to his standoffish, snarky, and aloof personality.

He was a enigma.

"Boo!"

The soft, hushed word breathed into her ear, caused her to jump. Her hand clamped over her mouth both to keep from screaming out and in shock of what happened.

She had been working on the costume for the girl in the shelter. A pink bright ballerina. A subject she was well informed about. The tulle and and tiara on the table along with the sparkly magic wand. She was on her way to finish when she had stopped to watch him sleep.

And now her and Scott stood, watched Punk slumber away, rock music blasting. Face, hair and chest covered in hot pink glitter.

* * *

"He`s gonna be pissed"

"Hush"

"He`s gonna be **_so _**pissed"

"Shut up and help me put this on"

"I just want the record to show I objected to this"

It was a miracle that he slept through all the commission surrounding him. Maybe it`s due to his fatigue from endless shows combined with the soft bed and the blasted music.

They hovered over him. They being her, Scott and Joe.

The idea had its merits. Piss him off, one up the master prankster and loads of blackmail materials. The downside was he could walk up at any moment and hell would break loose.

After the scare from Scott, they both stood in shock and silence as a glitter-sprinkled Punk dozed away, unaware of what was happening. After it wore off, they were in stitches, gasping for breath at the image of hot pink glitter on his face and chest.

She looked, horrified as the distinctive sound of 'click' filled the space. Scott was snapping pictures on his phone. He looked at her, already knowing what she wanted.

_"I`ll send you copies"_

They both looked as Joe ventured to their level, a bottle of water in hand and the rest as they say was history.

Scott was now arranging the pink tulle around his waist over the blanket, trying not to let the fabric touch the bare skin of his friend. It was tricky but he managed to do it.

"Gimme" he wiggled his fingers behind his back and she placed the equally glittering tiara, watching him place it atop of the hybrid locks of hair.

She had to admit.

Punk made a cute ballerina.

"Ahh now to finish this, gimme that horribly ugly wand with the fluffy feathers."

He stood back, joining the silent Joe and horrified April.

"I present you the resident Twisted Fairy Godmother"

She felt a horrible pressure on her chest, everything about that situation screamed trouble but she joined the laughing due. Again Scott snapping pictures on his phone.

"Now let`s get the hell out of here, before this sleeping beauty awakens"

In a flash, the second level was empty, the sleeping ballerina slumbering away. It was ten minutes after their decent downstairs, the familiar angry yell revibrating in the building

"Mother fucker"

* * *

**Thoughts anyone?**

**Open for suggestions as usual.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews, favorites, follows and reads.**

**Thanks for Kelzo for beta reading this chapter with me. This girl is seriously awesome. Go check out her stories 'Hate This Place' and 'All For Love' both great to read.**

**Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Oct, 31st 2004**

He lifted the shirt from his body with a singular, sweeping motion; smooth tattooed skin was bared to her gaze. He turned his back to her, aiming the balled up shirt before throwing it, laughing as it hit Scott in the face. And she took the fleeting moments to let her eyes roam over him, greedily taking in every counter, dip, and ripple and oh those beautifully sinful hip dents, as he turned around, facing her.

She always watched him, because, well, that was what she did. Usually she was glaring as she did it, but that mattered very little in the long run. Narrowed, angry, glaring, gloating, it didn't matter; in the end, her eyes were on him.

She scowled, his shoulders were still stupid.

"Tell me again why this is necessary?" she said as he joined her in the center of the ring, shirtless. Like she needed another distraction. All he had to do was aim those olive eyes and she was a goner.

"Because, being the good friends we are," he motioned to him, Scott and Joe, who were setting on the sofa bed, snacks littering the bed "we decided you need to learn a little bit of self-defense, just in case" _Not that I would ever let anything happen to you._

"So, let me get this straight- I have to be able to release my inner-Buffy in the event that I get attacked?" while it did sound like a good idea, she wasn't ready to be all close and personal with him. Him being half naked nonetheless. It would only cause this little infatuation she`s suffering at the moment to escalate and get out of hand "So does this mean you`ll stop stalking me home?"

"I walk not stalk you home. You don't ever stop talking, do you?"

She saw Scott and Joe avidly watching them, no doubt knowing the infamous wit battles she and the infuriating man got into on daily basis. Her eyes narrowed as Scott passed Joe a bucket of popcorn, as if they were watching a movie.

"Really boys?"

Her answer was a double shrug and failed attempts at appearing innocent. She turned to him, bristling as he tiptoed around her personal space, a blunt move.

"No, I don't. Especially if I'm here, under protest, doing this unnecessary training when I do know how to handle myself."

"You? Handle yourself? That's a laugh."

"And why's that?" she asked, clearly offended.

"Because you've been almost attacked _twice, _and I've had to rescue your dumbass both times. You're like capture the flag... except less fun," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"He does make a good point April. But again said kidnapped victim managed to spray, kick, punch and knee you in the span of five minutes" It was Scott who butted in, he cowered as he received a double "Shut up"

"Besides, you said you`d make it up to me. Remember?"

"I did?" she feigned ignorance at his words. She knew damn well what he meant. After the 'Fairy Prank' dubbed by Joe, it had taken them days to pacify him. More so with her, as he accused her of being the catalyst for what happened.

After all who hated his guts more than her?

It was far from the truth. She didn't hate his guts. She wished she could, but something about 'hate' and Phil in the same sentence wasn't right.

"Yes, you did. Now I`ll show the basics today and we can work more tomorrow."

"OK, fine yes whatever. Can we just hurry up? I have plans"

"Plans?"

She shrugged her jacket, tossing it to the side.

His eyes had flicked down, over the stretched material of a red t-shirt, over formfitting dark jeans, all the way down to her typical black ass-kicking chucks. They were like a catalyst to cut short his heavy, lingering gaze; he'd snorted and his eyes had snapped back up immediately as her sentence penetrated his mind.

"I have a date tonight"

Joe was patting the back of Scott who was in the midst of a coughing fit. Once done, they heard him gulp the air greedily, before sitting his sights on her. His eyes narrowed as he watched the silent conversation between his best friend and his current.. crush? Obsession? Whatever she was.

"A date? Really?"

"Yes, Scott. A date. Is that so hard to believe?" her tune was icy, daring him to say anything else. His eyes flickered to his friend, noticing the balled up fist of Punk. This wasn't a good sign.

"Calm down. It`s impressive to land a date on _All_-_Hallows_'-_Eve_ that`s all"

She bristled. She knew what he meant by his comment. And while she wouldn't have preferred it to happen, having Scott on her secret crush on his best friend was the lesser of two evils than having the crush himself know about it. She knew he wouldn't say anything, especially to Phil. Scott was slowly but surely filling the empty void left by her brother, and she knew he`d always have her back.

A date. She was going out on a freaking date.

_What did you expect, you moron. That`d sit on her ass, long enough for her to turn 18 and for you to find your balls and ask her on a date yourself._

He could see that happening, NOT.

"April," he said with a dark smile. "Join me."

It was an order. Non-negotiable. Swallowing thickly, she took the step up onto the mat, cursing the fact that she agreed to this. He was sure out to get her now.

"What`s the matter?" his voice lazy and low, sinful to her traitorous body "Scared?"

"Bring it on pretty boy"

* * *

"So it goes without saying, that at the first sign of trouble 'Get loud' it sends a message that you`re not scared nor an easy target and it signals for help"

"OK, scream like a banshee. Got it"

He stood infront of her and that stupid tattooed chest was filling her line of vision. He was pushing himself in her personal space on purpose.

"In a fight is hurt or be hurt. So you want the first seconds to be on your side. Hit hard and fast but don't use too much energy. To do most damage target these areas: eyes, nose, ears, neck, groin, knee and legs"

"Lucky you. I just saved you the pain of demonstrating the groin part"

He tried to hide his shudder as he remembered her mean knee shoving his balls up his throat.

"Funny you. Now you have to know what to hit and with what. Don't step closer to his the nose if you can reach the knees and kick"

He stepped behind her, the heat emitting from his body almost burning her, the urge to squirm away hard to resist. Or maybe it was the urge to take that last step back and be flush with him.

"Spread your legs for me"

Something stirred at his words, alien to her. Hot molten lava coursed through her veins, her lower body clenched. His words were evil, mind-twisting, and mental-image-calling.

_A calloused hand skimmed over her knee, teasingly. Above her, he rested his weight on hand, the other gently coaxing her bare thighs open._

One sneakered foot pushed between her own, pushing them in opposite directions. Impatience washed over him, ignoring the intimacy of the moment for the moment, he grabbed one of the blushing girl's thighs and pried them apart it until her feet stood a solid 30 centimeters apart.

His lips were dangerously close to her ear; his breath stirred her dark hair. One arm went over her shoulder, grasping her hand in his much larger one. His felt rough against her softer skin. The other went over her other shoulder and she felt caged in his arms as he griped her wrist with one arm and tucked her fingers closer "When you hit the upper half of the body, make sure you strike with outer edge of your hand while it's in a knife position"

He curled her fingers in a tight curled balled fist, his left arm curling around her waist, his palm resting at her hips keeping her still "Now, for a softer target, a cheek, an eyes or the stomach, use a curled fist. Bring your arm back and hit"

"Eyes: Gouging, poking, or scratching the attacker's eyes with your fingers or knuckles would be effective. Now the nose use the heel of you hand" he pried her fingers open, not knowing she was balling them to keep from touching him. He traced the skin with his index finger, the feathery soft touch almost too much to her now focused senses "Throw your weight into it. If the attack was from behind, use your elbow. Always aim for the nasal bone"

Her hair was up in its usual ponytail, and it left all the expanse of her graceful neck bared. He could only imagine burying his face and inhaling her smell. Somehow he knew she`d smell torturously sweet. A vanilla honeyed smell, swirling seductively calling out to him like a siren.

He saw her body jump slightly as he traced over the skin effortlessly. She was silk. Living breathing silk.

"The carotid artery and the jugular are your target. Knife like position; tucking your thumb slightly bent at the knuckle. For more damage, elbow to throat" his finger lightly rested on her throat, ego boosting as he felt the fast tempo of her heartbeat. Even if she couldn't stand him, had a date, she couldn't deny her body`s reaction to his touch. And he knew how to torture his girl before she left for her date. He`ll make sure he was the only thing she could think about.

* * *

How terrible.

See, the problem with _real_ fighting is that it almost always ends in grappling. Nobody just throws punches at each other for hours on end. The idea is unrealistic, and frankly, laughable. No, eventually someone is going to get taken to the ground, and then the person with the best holds, the strongest grip, the fastest maneuver, that's the person that's going to win.

He knew his plan was bound to backfire on him. Big time.

He planned to use her physical attraction to his advantage, but he didn't take into consideration his body`s reaction to her.

After going over the basics with her. He walked in front of her, opened his arm and asked her to charge him.

_"What is it?" he demanded, looking ready to attack her himself._

_"I can't"_

_He let out an impatient huff. "How do you expect to learn, if you won`t even try to attack me?"_

_"It's just - I have no reason" She trembled, afraid of setting him off on a mad rampage. Nervously, she fiddled with her t-shirt, avoiding glancing at him at all costs._

_"I could give you plenty reason. Do you want me to shove you up against a wall " The rumble of his voice really should have been banned as it stirred some not-so–suitable-for-kids images. His voice never rumbled. It went up, it went down, it became whiny, moody, light, and angry. But it never moved like a deep thrum through her body._

_Slowly he began to circle her, and he could see her quiver, and it most certainly wasn't from fear._

_"I'm not going to hurt you. Now, imagine this, your in a dark alley, no one is around except you and your attacker. I'll make a lunge for you, and you'll try and deflect it, and we'll work from there"_

_She nodded and he charged._

"It's like I'm watching a really soft porn that's on daytime TV by mistake," Scott mused to himself, closer now to the action. "And I can't change the channel, or look away, because it might disappear and I'll never get another chance to see it."

Joe next to him made a fascinated, throaty noise in agreement.

What started as an exercise of self-defense was now a sparring, grappling wrestling session.

With an unmeasured amount of fury, she had flung herself at Punk, which succeeded in knocking them both to the floor. In her blind fury, she proceeded to beat him with her small fists. This only resulted in Punk snickering at her, and smoothly turning so now _he _lay a top of _her._

She struggled against him furiously. After many fruitless attempts at trying to free herself from beneath him she just let herself lie still and indifferent .

"Given up already?" Carefully, he adjusted himself, just so that she would be able to move, but not quite free herself, "You know, I'm quite comfortable here. I see no reason to move, I suppose I'll just stay here until you can free yourself."

_Bastard._

She began to analyze her situation, her arms and legs could just barely move, but the rest of her was dominated by his larger frame. A plan quickly formed, and she swiftly put it into action.

Her shirt had ridden up in the back and she could feel the harsh sting of the mat against her skin. She swiftly wrapped her legs around his waist, which would have been better if he hadn't had her arms pinned over her head.

She was trapped beneath him, fighting to free herself from his hold. He couldn't seem to focus on anything other than the fact that she was writhing underneath him, a slight sheen of sweat against her flushed skin.

Every nerve in her body had crackled to life and her eyes squeezed shut. All he'd done was breathe her in; suck in a breath through his nostrils, making its way into his body, then back out again through his lips, tantalizingly close to her skin, the warmed air washing across her neck.

He drew back, dazed and her mind snapped back into focus yet her body remained a quivering heap underneath his, using as much of her small body to turn him over trying to force his hands over his head, down into the mat. After a few moments of struggle, she could feel his body begin to lose it's dominance. The tables were turned on him as _he _became the captive and she became the captor.

He knew if he wanted to he would flip them in a flash, but he indulged her allowing her to think she got the upper hand. He leaned up, noticing how her eyes had gone hooded and dark and her generous lips parted slightly and what the hell, was she giving him _sex _eyes? On _purpose_? If he hadn't noticed her tense body coiled above him he might have fallen for the trick. Fighting dirty was such a turn on.

He'd looked up, smirking narrowly at her and she was trying to convince herself that his fascinating expression was uninteresting when he broke free of her loosened grip, bucked her off, , and he was over her once more, his expression twisting back to playful.

"Not letting you get away with that , sister." She hated it when he called her that. Especially when there was nothing remotely sibling like in her feelings for him.

_"_Give up." She was pinned beneath him once more, her back against the mat, his legs caging hers, and when he'd leaned in, he was practically on top of her.

She knew if she stayed longer underneath his body, she would give in. She`d pull him down and kiss the living day light out of him. And she wanted to so bad. But she couldn't.

_"Who cares?….Take a good look at her Scott. she's got ice water running through those veins of hers. I wouldn't touch that one with a ten foot pole…."_

That served as bucket of ice water being dropped on her feverish body and burning desires.

"Fine, I give up. You win"

A groan of disappointment had filled her ears. And he quickly released her and sprung to his feet, distancing himself from her. Then he'd blinked, immediately realizing he won, and that stupid smirk had twisted his lips, and she couldn't even be annoyed yet. The annoyance would have to come later, when her body wasn't full of confusion and molten lava.

"Where are you going?" she heard Scott voice as she disappeared into her section. She was running late and more than ever she was determined to go on her date and forget about the stupid, hot, sweaty, Punk.

"Taking a shower and getting ready."

"Here?"

The bastard wanted to fight dirty and toy with her. She`d show him.

"Yup, I am letting Mark pick me up from here"

Mark. That was wonderful, now he knew what name to put on the hit list.

* * *

"Yeah, and I'm sure the fact that your having your date pick you up infront of Punk has nothing to do with your outfit." Scott whispered as he passed her and went inside, leaving her waiting outside for Mark to pick her up.

"Fancy meeting you again so soon" She whirled to face him. He had magically disappeared as she got ready for her date.

He smirked, his eyes caressing the short, platinum wig. "But I gotta say, I'm impressed. Who knew that you were so naturally…" He paused there, his gaze lowering to the strip of skin at eye level, the hint of breast, and a slow smile spread across face, "…perky."

Her eyes widened, her arms folding protectively across her chest.

"Not helping things," He pointed out.

"You're a pig," She muttered, twisting slightly away from him. He chuckled softly as she tightened the shawl around her shoulder and over her breasts, hiding her surprisingly delightful cleavage from him. If she weren't so asexual, he would almost be saddened by the lack of view. Still, he was doing her a favor, he told himself; she'd probably be thanking him if she knew the way other men had let their eyes linger on her skin. Really, he was just helping her out by pointing out the low, low zipper to her.

"So, when is your date coming to pick you up?" he walked to stand beside her. Her choice of costume fascinating to him "So what are you supposed to be other than blonde? Medieval Barbie?"

"Rosalind"

He hated when he didn't know things "Who`s that?"

"From Shakespeare. Look you don't have to wait, Mark will be here any second" She didn't want him around anymore than necessary. Her body still throbbed from the memory of him above her, touching her, inhaling her.

"I don't mind really. I wanna see who`s your newest boy toy"

He must have picked the wrong subject. She snapped back to him suddenly, quicker than a blink, and her fists gripped his t-shirt , pressing close to snarl into his face. He couldn't help that his eyes darted to her glistening lips. "Listen, buddy-"

"Am I interrupting?"

They turned as one to gape in surprise at the brunette, looking at them. They'd been so caught up they hadn't even heard Mark walking up. She released her hold on him, almost uncomfortably. He cleared his throat, glancing away from her mouth.

"Prefect timing. Lets go" her hand tugged the ones of her date and they left in his car leaving a seething, angry jealous Punk behind. Not that he would admit to being jealous. Nope.

"So we're following her on Halloween night, right?" It was Scott as he stepped next to him asked.

"Totally," Joe added.

"Excellent," He straightened the shirt she crumbled with her small fists, "Come on. Lets crash a party, shall we?"

* * *

**Kelzo Thanks again. **

**Thanks again for the support. This ride is about to become interesting.**

**If you have ideas in mind to keep those lovebirds hung up on each other before I allow them to emplode, PM me ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the reviews follows & reads.**

**Awesome peeps. xoxo**

* * *

"Let's go, man. Let's follow little Medieval Barbie."

He nodded silently, still shaken from his adrenaline spike of jealousy. The party seemed well underway, the music loud as costumed people filed through the school`s door, to where the party was held in the gym.

They walked out onto the indoor gym that was practically ablaze with ornately cut Jack-o-lanterns, two massive curving orange and black balloons on either side. Laser lights and dark-colored strobes were cast lazily and searchingly across the floor and walls. An enormous, blood red chandelier hung from the center of the ceiling. There was what looked like a water fountain near the stairs, flowing heavily with acid green liquid, what he assumed to be absinthe. A live band sat on a large, elevated stage at the front, all dressed as ghoulish skeletons, and played a sexually-charged, fast-paced form of jazz. In short, it was one hellava shindig to behold.

"Do you see her?"

"No. What was she again?"

"I don't know. One of those old dresses and a platinum wig"

"Old, short, and blonde. Got it"

One minute of observing young people, dancing, mingling, and having fun. From where they stood it was difficult to see all of the people in there.

"I got a Seven of Nine, Princess Leia, a douche in a John Cena shirt. Joe?"

"A reject from a slasher movie, X-rated nurse and umm an ugly pink thing"

"Where?"

"By the snacks table. What is that thing anyway?"

The three men walked closer, Scott and Phil showing sign of repulsion as Joe stared, head tilted trying to find out what the costume was.

"What is he supposed to be anyways? beside pink, wrinkly and ugly"

"A pussy" it was Scott who managed to find his voice to answer.

Always slow on the uptake "He ain`t a pussy, he actually got balls showing up loo.. oh, oh Oh. That kind of pussy"

"Yup"

"Huh"

Phil and Scott exchanged amused glances as Joe continued his appraisal of the costume, unconcerned with the glares he was receiving. They must think him a pervert of something. They were starting to get attention, the wrong kind and they had yet to find her.

"I wanna touch it"

"What? NO!"

"Come on dudes, I bet I can fit my head in there. It`s humongous"

Coming up on both sides, they dragged Joe away as he struggled to catch one last look at it.

"Look it will go a lot faster if we split up. Keep him out of trouble"

"Aye Aye Captain. Now go find your gal and.. Joe no"

He watched Scott scurry after Joe, as the latter was moving back to probably touch the weird unusual ballsy costume. Now all he had to do was find her. Which seemed a lot harder than keeping Joe in line.

What`d he do when he finds her, is a question that never accrued to him.

He knew he stuck out like a sore thumb as he moved between the throngs of costumed people, some eyeing him warily, some judgy and other in fascination.

He spied the familiar costume by the punch table, alone. Matt, or Mark he wasn't sure and quite frankly didn't care, who he saw dressed as Zorro when he picked her up was deep into a conversation with Princess Leia. The jackass was leaving his date alone.

That alone would have pissed him off, never mind that he was taking April out himself on a date.

He moved to stand towards the back, near the empty tables that were pushed together. He leaned against a pillar and let his eyes wander. Hoping, searching and..

He felt his heart stop a beat, and no matter how cheesy it sounded, it did. There was no mistaking that dusky golden skin. Nor the small petite body that was pressing into his body mere hours ago, creating all sorts of delicious torture and gave food for later, much extreme thoughts.

No wonder they couldn't find her.

Gone was the wig, the stuffy old dress and instead a fucking walking wet dream stood before him.

She stood unaware of what she was doing, how many heads she was turning. And for a second he wanted to run, cover her up from the prying admiring eyes. She was his to admire.

He let his eyes run stock of her and he was struck dump. His palms felt sweaty and he felt the air knocked out of him as if he`d been sucker punched in the gut.

Her normally glossed lips, were blood red, adding fullness and calling out like a siren, beckoning him. Like a cherry to be bitten on. They were set in a slight pout, parted slightly and if had stood any closer, he know he`d see a hint of a pink tongue. Eyes were surrounded with a green dust of eye shadow, a sharp thin eyeliner added fullness to her already expressive eyes.

The dazzling dress was floor length, settling around her ankles in soft calm waves, and he knew if she moved they`d ripple, rage with her hurried gait. It started with dark purple from the bottom fading up into a rich forest green. The neckline was modest, heart shaped, and it hugged her young body enticingly. Green vines circled her arms, shoulders, wrapping around her neck before tangling in her rich brown curls.

She turned around, and he felt like he had been shot in the knees, not the he knew what it felt like, but they threatened to buckle underneath him. Never had anything affected him so much.

And he had felt like he'd been gutted. The dress dipped low on her back, the fabric starting at the top of her bottom, hugging the flesh lovingly.

It was in the way the dusty golden expanse of her smooth flesh flexed slightly as she moved. It was that little dip at the small of her back that just begged for a feathery caress, a kiss, a gentle nip of his teeth.

And he wanted nothing more than to have his hands span her waist, his fingers digging into her soft skin, feeling the soft roundness of her hips crushed against his. He wanted to feel her arch against him with that perfect curve of her spine that he just wanted to run his finger over, trace slowly with his tongue. Run his lips over the base of her nape, and inhale more of the scent that he was suddenly all too aware of, all too addicted to. Tangy orange, he caught whiff of it as she moved passed him for months, and confirmed it as he took a greedy gulp of the air near her neck, as if he`d been underwater and had just resurfaced.

He wanted to nuzzle in the crook between her collarbone and jaw, much like a baby would seek warmth in the embrace of its mother, inhale, run his lips over the soft silky skin, gently bite her there and soothe it with his tongue. He wanted to taste her pulse with his lips. He licked his lips at the thought of tasting her.

Of devouring those red luscious sinful lips, sink his mouth against hers. To feel their fullness, to delve into the hot wetness. To outline the inside of those lips with his tongue, to pull on that lower lip with his teeth, treating the upper with the same gentle tug. He wanted to slip a finger in between those lips and watch as they pursed around it, watch as she sucked, her big doe coffee eyes snaring him in her web, consuming him till he fell into the welcoming abyss in them.

And he wanted more...no, all of her…

He felt the painful push of his erection against his suddenly, extremely tight jeans.

He smiled.

Poison Ivy.

* * *

Where the hell was he? Sighing as her arm hit the table with a dull thud, her hand idly picking at the table cloths but paused as she felt a soft tingling in the middle of her back.

She immediately stiffened, already feeling the eyes on her body. Forcing herself to relax, she turned around, expecting to find Mark grinning at her from the punch table. But there was no one. Scanning the tables and groups of people, she frowned when she saw no one looking at her.

It was another five minutes and a glass of water before she finally turned around. The gaze she felt had ticked on and off of her back and she could feel it so precisely that she felt goose bumps rising on her skin. The only person to ever do that was -

Her train of thought stopped immediately and she moved quickly between the tables, grateful to be away from whoever's gaze was on her, she pushed open the door to the bathroom, almost running into another girl exiting. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's OK," She smiled. Entering one of the stalls, she leaned against the wall. She sighed heavily and itched to scratch at her back, as if the person's eyes were still on her. It bothered to a great extent that someone was staring at her. And it bothered her that it bothered her in the first place.

Rubbing her temples gently, she forced herself to relax. So someone was staring at her. Who cares? _Certainly not me, _she thought. Running her hands down her dress unconsciously, she straightened her back. She was on a date and here she was worried that she was being stared at. Maybe-

_No!_

The one two-lettered word exploded in her head.

_Stop it._

She exited the stall, coming to stand infront of the mirror. The bathroom was empty, all no doubt back to have a good time and dance. Not her.

After all she did get this date to forget, keep her occupied and mind off of him. It always came back to him.

Punk, Phil, water boy, whatever you wanna call him. It always came back to his allergic to people attitude, keeping anyone and everyone at arm`s length, those accusing hard green eyes and his harsh words.

Her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks, open palms on the sink for support, breathing deeply, letting the air out in a rush, keeping her lips from trembling. She looked up, sniffing loudly, her shoulders pulled back, fluffing her hair. Her hand paused at the handle, letting out a deep breath, she twisted and walked out.

The moment she was enveloped in the music, the smoke and the lights, the feeling was back again. She felt stalked and didn't like it. The last time she thought she nearly killed.. Oh no.

Oh hell no!

Discreetly, her eyes swept the floor. Most people were near the stage area, and whomever was stalking her could never do so with the masses of withering and dancing people. She felt her lips twist in a half-hearted smirk as she caught his reflection on the mirrors hung around the gym. She wondered why hadn't she noticed him. He was costume-less in a Halloween night, hair tied back, some t-shirt, an old blue jeans and his sneakers. He stuck out like a clown in a funeral.

She turned in a whirl, the dress 'whooshing' from the movement, her eyes catching his now shocked one. He looked like a dear caught in the headlights. A really cute dear. She started to walk to his direction, passing him by after a pointed look, and she knew he`d follow her.

Goosebumps started to form as she set foot on the asphalt outside the school`s double doors and she tightened the shawl around her shoulders. Seconds later, footsteps padded to her and stopped.

"What are you doing here?"

"I needed to get some air, and thought hay what place better I already have a friend in"

"Because there is no air at your place"

_There is no you at my place _"I told earlier, it`s our duty as your friends to look out for you"

She let out a long suffering sigh "Clueless Phil" a side glance and she started walking away from him. In a moment of panic his hand shot out, curling around her elbow, tightening to hold her still. Maybe now it`s a good time as any to talk about what`s happening. Was it all real? or had he misunderstood the signs.

Poison Ivy gazed at him placidly and he was a bit thrown that his closeness and physical contact with her seemed to have no effect whatsoever. She didn't flinch, blush nor back away. She didn't remove his hand, but nor did she indicate that his touching her was inappropriate. In short, she didn't react at all. She merely continued to look him in the eye with the same calmness as if she were watching a goldfish bowl.

"Well well well, if it isn't CM Punk"

* * *

He dropped the hand that griped her elbow, taking a step closer to her, his bulkier frame dwarfing her own, hiding her from sight and out of harms way. And if push came to shove, he could give her a head start as he distracted them.

Two and now confirmed drunk boys surrounded him, swaying as they closed in, another one stood in the back either as a look out or was too scared to tangle in the fray.

"Aww lookie, protecting his little slut" One stepped to the side, trying to see her over his shoulder. He kept his ire and rage under control.

"Howdy girlie" he wiggled his fingers in greeting, taking a swig of his beer.

She clutched the inside of his elbow, stepping closer, seeking shelter against his now coiled and tensed body. He was hanging by a threat and any minute now he`ll snap.

"Phil lets just go" she whispered, her voice hushed and for his ears only.

"Yeah, go, run like a little pussy. Where is the shit you have been spitting for months now, how you`re better than anyone and everyone? not so tough now" he made another step forward, his frame identical to his. He puffed out his chest and pushed him "Come on. Fun has just begun "

The proverbial twig snapped, and he slipped into his brawling mode so smoothly. Rearing back, he shot forward and head butted him, dazing him. Curling his fists, he started using his body as a punching bag, kicks, knees to guts, yet he held some of his power back, or else he`d truly kill him.

He barely registered the 'Phil lookout' scream from her as he felt something shatter near his shoulder, the aim obviously off but it was enough to send him to the ground, leaving him open for attacks from the second guy.

"Oh we`ve got a live one here" he heard the second say and his head snapped, hearing her struggles. The third one holding her back as she struggled to get to him.

"April, remember what I taught you"

It all happened in split seconds, she brought.. were those green chucks? on his foot, and he yelped in pain, hobbling while he trapped her. Her elbow shot back, connecting with his throat and he was forced to let go. She whirled bringing her knee to his groin and Phil had to wince himself as it connected, the man hunching, cupping the injured area. But his little hellcat was not done, the force of the hit loud as she brought the heel of her palm to his nose and sent him crashing to the ground.

He made a quick work for the two, having snapped out of it and focused. The now three crumpled bodies were either dazed, moaning or as April done, rendered him almost unconscious.

He took her hand, body jerking at the jolt of electricity "Lets get the hell out of here huh"

* * *

"I broke his nose. Oh dear lord, I broke someone`s nose" her arms flew around him, and he willed himself to stand still as her body knocked into him full force. His hand snaked around her waist holding her to him less they tumbled to the ground. Her excited giggles filled his ears as she pressed her face into his shoulder.

The urge to sniff him was irresistible and she took a whiff. Her brain registered the smell. Earthy, musky and Phil. He smelled like the rain and she clamped shut on the breathy purr she wanted to let out.

She eased back and he loosened the hold, he still supported her off the ground and her feet were dangling in the air. He looked breathtakingly beautiful this close. And his eyes were all sorts of addicting, endless green forest, and oh so expressive. Her eyes dropped, as if drawn by an unknown force. His lips were parted, the metal of his ring enticingly inviting to taste, run her tongue over the cool metal, before his lips closing on hers.

He saw her gaze drop from his eyes, the easy smile dropping as the air became charged with something new, dangerous and seducing; swirling just within the tips of his fingers begging for him to reach and grab it.

His arm around her waist unconsciously tightened, tugging her closer, and the bare flesh under his palm was so unbelievably soft and warm. The pad of his thumb rubbed in circles and he damn near choked as she wriggled her body against his hardening one; looking for friction and release. This was getting out of control so fast yet felt so fucking right to him. He leaned his head, hand tipping her chin up as his lips closed in on hers.

* * *

Thoughts?


	8. Chapter 8

Happy reading :)

* * *

**December, 24th 2004**

**Christmas Eve**

The thick layers of snow crunched under his shoes, his breath as he exhaled a puff of white cloud as the night continued to get only colder. He rubbed the now numb fingers, trying to restore some warmth and feeling into them. The nippy wind whipped around them as they crossed the street, now coming up to the building. Several foggy windows reflected the lights on the Christmas trees. Some blinking rapidly others slow, others shined bright before dimming gradually. Red, green, yellow, blue and pink, it twinkled, casting a dim glow to the dark night. He could imagine couples, children standing admiring their work.

He loved what he did for a living, but times like these all he wanted was to go home with his sisters and adoptive mother, decorating a pine tree, untangling lights and hanging ornaments, but he needed the money so he was forced to accept working on this time of the year.

His eyes landed on her window and his stomach felt invaded by a swarm of those phantom butterflies of anticipation. How he missed her, it was still all awing to him how she came to mean so much in so little time. A 5 ft something witty ballerina weaseled her way past the iron walls of Phillip Brooks, not an easy feat, but she managed to do it unintentionally on her part, and unwillingly on his.

A shadow moved behind the curtains, and judging from the height it was her. It had to be, aside from the short stature of her body, the hair was longer and wavier than her sister`s, shoulders were relaxed and down a huge neon sign that screamed brute training of a ballerina dancer.

He was shook out of his reverie as another two sets of boots started to climb the stairs, ringing the bell. Scott bounced on his heels, trying to warm up his chilled body. Joe stood with a saran-wrapped casserole dish, one hand holding it, the other sprawled on top of it making use of the heat emitting from it.

"Are you sure that`s edible?"

Joe, now resembling Rudolph with his red nose, glared "I`ll have you know, I make a mean roasted mashed potatoes" he huffed, turning his nose up in a sign of pride.

The lock clicked as it turned and a second latter the door opened. Vanessa stood, and he had to admit she did look beautiful. Her caramel hair was straightened, falling around her shoulder, her bangs reaching above her bright hazel eyes. A green and red knitted beanie and a matching scarf, she was already in the holiday`s festive mood.

He climbed the stairs, following Scott and Joe as they made their way inside the building. He shook whatever snow that landed on his clothes, watching them do the same. He followed them as they made their way to their apartment and he realized this was his first time here; since the last time didn't count as he was pepper spray blind. Their unit door opened, a dark wooden door with a wreath hanged on it, and a beautifully older woman greeted them. She had the same dark coloring of April, the hair, the eyes and the skin. He was looking at April and what she might look like thirty odd years from now.

He went to follow, even if he was reluctant to come here in the first place, and stopped. A strong yet feminine hand curled around his biceps, tugging him backwards. He saw her mother`s confusion at them.

"We`ll be in a few Ma" with a stern nod, the door was closed and he was standing in the hallway with the elder sister of April.

"You have some `splaining to do"

* * *

The apartment was warm, small and cozy. It enveloped you, inviting you in and it truly felt like a home, not just a house where you eat, drink and sleep in. A quick stock of the house, and he was envying them. A kitchen, which was heavenly smelling and his mouth watered thinking about the meals being prepared, that opened from one side to a living area. Two big sofas and three odd mismatched recliners, a TV set, a sewing machine by the window; the chair pushed back with a knit shawl draped around it, and a Christmas tree in the corner. It wasn't much yet it felt more than enough for the family. Pictures littered the surface. A wedding photo here, graduation pictures there, one with a uniformed young man who he assumed was April`s brother, Chris. A picture of the two girls, one of a young April in a pink tutu and a sparkly tiara, one of her sister with a big golden retriever.

"Thanks for having us Mrs Mendez" he turned around, watching as Joe placed the casserole dish on the kitchen counter.

"There is no trouble at all. It`s just me and the girls here and April`s friends are always welcomed. Let me have your jackets" He shrugged out of it, handing it to her, watching as she collected Joe`s before hanging them on a standing coat rack. "So where is Mr Mendez? Won`t he be joining us?" he rolled his sleeves up, ready to help her.

"Martin is caught up with work. He have a boss from hell" She bent down, opening the oven.

"Aren't they all?" he took the stacked white dishes, moving to set the table in the separate dinning room.

He must have taken forever, because the counters were littered with dishes, all smelling heavenly. He inhaled greedily, the mixture of flavors stirring his stomach into a rumble of hunger. He turned as the front door opened, Phil and April`s sister walking in. He noted the satisfied glint in her eyes and the tensed jaw of Phil which was now red and not from the cold.

Phil rubbed his jaw, he moved it in circular motion, testing it. He deemed it OK as he shrugged his jacket, hanging it next to Joe`s and Scott`s. He followed the elder Mendez inside, ignoring the questioning look from Scott, focusing instead on the good, the really really good smell filling the apartment. Now, when he can see, he let his eyes roam the apartment, focusing on one thing. The fact that she wasn't here.

He glared as Vanessa`s back as she moved around helping with setting the table and carrying the dishes. His mind flashed back on the conversation outside.

_They walked back out into the snow and his body protested as the heat of the hallway disappeared and he was back out in the chilly night. She curled the fingers of her right hand into a tight fist; pulling it back she swung out, surprising him. He didn't have a chance to block her punch. A loud 'crack' sounded as her fist slammed into his jaw. The sound sent a shiver of pleasure up her spine and knowing he was in a bit of pain managed to ward off some of the cold. His head whipped to the side causing him to stumble backwards before he lost his footing and fell into a snow bank._

_"Son of a bitch," he cursed out loudly. The snow underneath him melted as his body sprawled over top. The taste of copper flooded his mouth and he grimaced in response. Moving his tongue slowly around his mouth, he checked for any chipped teeth and eventually found where his teeth had cut the inside of his cheek causing him to bleed._

_Wincing, she shook her hand in protest against the stabs of pain; she'd never get use to the jarring feeling after her fist collided with the desired object._

_"That, is for making my sister cry, you jackass!" Her tiny voice shook with rage and even seeing him sprawled on the snow with blood trickling down his chin didn't sooth her rampaging emotions. She wanted him to have more than just a sore jaw._

_He pushed himself into a sitting position with one hand while the other rubbed his tender jaw. It was already starting to swell. Bending a leg, he rested his hand on his jean-covered knee. His green eyes narrowed as he watched her scowl down at him._

_He wanted to call her a bitch, remind her that he wasn't the one that had swung the first punch but the fact that she was a girl as well as April`s sister stopped him._

_The wind picked up, blowing ice crystals in a tornado of biting cold around the small glade. The chill sunk deep into her bones, despite the several layers of clothes and her cheeks were starting to numb from the breeze._

_Pushing brunette waves of hair off of her face, she stalked towards him, shoulders slightly hunched while her lips pressed together. Her fists continued to clench and unclench at her sides, itching to make another violent contact with his jaw but aware that this time he'd be ready._

_She offered her hand for him to take, and he accepted after looking at it like it might bite, slap and/or punch him. She pulled him to his feet, watching him brush the snow from his jeans and jacket. She waited for him to finish and ask her what she`d meant earlier._

_"Why was she crying?" he hoped his voice was neutral not conveying too much of his raging emotions. He had an inkling to why but he wanted, no make that needed to hear it for his sake._

_"You tell me. She comes home from the Halloween party, burst into tears and you disappear for a month and half. Now what I wanna know is what happened?"_

_Unwillingly his mind flashed back to that fateful night. How right she felt against him, how warm and inviting. How her eyes danced with mirth after she punched that guy, then from confusion to hesitation until they swirled with want. How her lips parted further the closer he leaned. But he had pulled away just before he closed his lips around hers as Scott and Joe came running their way. His hands dropped like she was on fire and he took a stumbling step back. He looked back to her just in time for her to tuck in the crushed fallen expression replacing it with one of stone. Her eyes were frosty as they glared at him. The rest was a blur. From dropping her home, to glancing back at the building as the cab drove them home, to punching the bag to the point of exhaustion, to volunteering to be on the crew heading off for Japan for a month. He`d thought a little time and distance would have done him some good. He was so horribly wrong and so completely off base. Not only his feelings didn't change, he`d hurt hers as well._

_But he had to wonder. Did she cry because he almost kissed her, or because he didn't?_

_"Nothing happened. We just went there to check up on her, ran into a bit of trouble that`s it" he hoped he could pass the tinging of his cheeks from the nippy weather. Fuck, he was blushing over an almost kiss._

_"Are you sure nothing else happened? or almost happened?"_

_She knew. She knew. She knew. It kept repeating in his head, as he tried to stay calm under her calculating eyes._

_"I might have tried to kiss her" it came out rushed, hoping to end the interrogation._

_"And?" she didn't sound angry or pissed. Just curious._

_"And nothing, my friends came and I dropped her home. I was outta line and I`ll apologize once I see her, I swear"_

_He was acting in what she assumed was normal behavior for situations like these, stubborn and the Webster's definition of hard ass in love._

_"Come on, lets get inside"_

"So where is April? I haven't seen her."

The name brought him back to where he was still standing. He saw Scott glance at him, before looking back at her mother.

"She`s upstairs. Phil could you be a doll and fetch her?"

He decided. Nessa was the incarnation of Lucifer himself. He walked to the steel spiral staircase, that led to the second level of the apartment. She passed him carrying a delicious looking turkey "After all isn't that what stray puppies are supposed to do? Fetch fetch fetch" she winked and he resisted the urge to scream.

God those Mendez women really had it out for him.

* * *

The door felt hard against her back, and the floor was cold underneath her, but she still sat. She played with the fringes of her knit scarf, one her mother made years ago, and she kept it in top condition. It looked new rather than a 7 years old home made scarf.

Her head lolled to the side, as she breathed deeply. She had heard the sounds of Scott and Joe as they made themselves at home, chatting away with her mother, the third member of what she had been silently referring to as the three stooges was not present tonight. That only added to her self-indulged misery, one she couldn't heal over a bucket of ice cream, it was cold winter after all, nor she could cry it out. Her mother and sister were already questioning the sudden gloominess that descended on her and she had ran out of excuses.

Her lips still burned whenever she thought of him. Warm, strong, and ..Phil. She couldn't describe it with anything else. He had a thing about him, that was impossible to find in anyone else. Teasing yet stern, warm yet icily indifferent, loving yet closed off. He was one big contradicting mess and she went ahead and fell in love with him.

"Stupid"

Her fingers traced her lips, closing her eyes as she imagined phantom sensations caressing the sensitive skin, warm and cold. Even his kiss was contradicting; a combination of warm breath and a cold metal ring. He hadn't kissed her that night, their lips didn't mesh nor fight for dominance. No breaking up for air before diving back in with a renewed fever and burning.

No, he pulled back. Dropped his hands off of her so fast, that she fought to keep still and not fall on her face. Scott and Joe choose the wrong moment to arrive. She loved them but she resented them for it. And he didn't talk to her about it, or try to finish off, which said a lot about where he stood with her and what he wanted. And the next day he didn't show up and it wasn't until two days later that she found out by mistake that he was in Japan.

The pain of abandonment was horrible. A 54 days of separation was too much for someone she was used to seeing everyday, verbally sparring with him at every chance over nothing and everything. She had been too busy ticking him off and getting under his skin, that she missed it when he slipped by; unnoticed and took ownership of her heart.

The idea was both scary in its newness and exhilarating in its concept.

Phil Brooks was her first love. And he probably, and she was now certain, didn't love her as she did him.

And what scared her the most that they always said that you`d never truly get over your first love.

* * *

The door squealed a bit as he pushed it open, in need of oiling, and he stepped into her bedroom. It was hers, judging from where the window she always stood by was. It was softly lit by a bedside lamp, casting a glow to things. Two made beds, a closet and a dresser, the room looked cramped with stuff. It was obvious she wasn't there, so that meant she was either at her parents` room or the bathroom.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts of her in a bathroom. It was thoughts like these that got him where he was now. A blubbering mess whenever within two feet of her. It felt like he was invaded or possessed, watching from above as the normally smooth and sleek ladies man made a fool out of himself and stuck his foot in his mouth. He walked to the small desk, the scrap board above it catching his attention. It was filled with pictures, notes and little souvenirs. Pictures of her family, another one with her brother, one with what he assumed to be the family dog, and he had to wonder if he was a stray one. Nessa`s comment from months ago came back to him.

_"Ma, April brought astray puppy home. AGAIN"_

It was divided into two sections, one for each girl. Nessa`s side was filled with magazine clippings, picture of her kissing her boyfriend, and other fashion stuff. April`s had a a lot more room to add stuff later. Other than the photos, there was a picture of a ballerina doing some fancy move, he remember some of the words she said as she practiced, words mostly frenchy and a bitch to pronounce. He traced the leg as it strained upwards, easily imagining her doing it.

He snatched his hand back as a picture hidden behind the poster fell and he picked it curious. It had to be important to hide. His lips twitched as he studied it. It was a picture of that awful ballerina prank they pulled on him all those months back. He even managed to look worse than he had after he woke up and found himself covered in glitter, that was a bitch to wash out, a tutu and a tiara on his head.

Curious, he put the picture behind the poster back where it had been, and picked up the paper that was halfway sticking out of her biology book, she probably hated the subject that she resulted to doodling.

The drawing was simple and to the point, not much of a wow factor to it. April sucked at sketching, but she was a details freak as the little scribbled notes filled the page more than the drawing did. The penciled note at the bottom peaking his interest.

_One day, I`ll have it._

He placed it back on the desk, picking up a stress ball as he did. It would do him some good until she would show up and he could apologize for what happened.

He walked to the window, trying to see what she see whenever she stands there. Granted with her short body, she`s bound to have a limited visual. But the warehouse was spot clear, along with some of the other nearby buildings. The moon barely peaking behind the dark clouds and the snow was still falling gently.

The ball sprang from his hands, falling to the ground and falling under the near bed. He knelt, sticking his hand under, fumbling around to find the ball. He frowned as his hand closed on something hard and he pulled it up to see what it was.

It was a thick black notebook. He was holding her

"What the hell are you doing with my diary?"

* * *

Wasn't this a dream of hers?

Phil standing in her room, them all alone. But he wasn't grasping her diary for sure, not like he was doing now.

Her heart raced, threatening to break her ribs as it pounded furiously. Had he just found it? or had he read it already?

She`d die if he read a single word she wrote on him. It was filled with details. Personal ones and feelings, oh the feels, her feelings were all written down. Screaming, deafening confessions of love.

As she stood, mortified and angry, her eyes that sorely missed the sight of him was running over him like crazy. Checking things off as she ran stock of him. He looked a bit leaner, not by much, bit countless days of watching him wrestle practically naked would let you notice any suitable changes.

The bags under his eyes were darker, as if he wrestled to find a sleep. The green eyes of his were fixated on hers, and they were unreadable as she faced the proverbial wall he put up against her searching ones.

He moved and her eyes moved with him, focusing back on the book he still clutched.

"You read my _diary_? That is not OK"

"Uhh.. the ball fell and I tried to reac.. I didn't read it I swear"

She moved, snatching it away "Give me that" She pulled the mattress up, shoving it underneath "What are you doing here in my room? Aren't you suppose to be in Japan?"

The anger, the bite and the scorn in her voice had him visibly flinch. The damage was more than he anticipated.

"I just came back, and your sister told me to get you" he waited for her to say something, anything other than let the tension build between them. He saw her turn around and he hurried after her.

"April.."she shrugged his hand as he gripped her to stop from leaving him "I am sorry" They stopped in the hallway, so he lowered his voice, there was no use of someone overhearing them.

"What are you sorry for?" Maybe she needed to hear it, to be able to move on from this one sided love deal. He scratched his head, as he fumbled for words "For what happened at the Halloween party. I shouldn't have followed you in the first place" his words meant that if he didn't follow her, he`d never have found himself in the situation where he had to kiss her.

It felt like a fur ball was stick in her throat as she swallowed thickly "It`s OK, Punk"

He sighed miserably as he saw her walk down the stairs. She called him Punk. She moved him back to square zero. This was worse than letting the tension build.

He never resented the name Punk up until this very moment.

He moved back to her room, his hand brushing over the desk, pocketing the paper hastily.

* * *

The diary scene was paying homage to the scene in another favorite ship of mine, Buffy and Angel. It was a scene where she thought he read her diary. And since an AJPunk shipper, Raiden519, pointed out that Bangel is AJPunk and AJ Lee herself seconded the thought, I thought to use it :)

**Happy Holidays :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the reviews, follows, favorites, and reads.**

* * *

He had been sitting in the truck for over twenty minutes now. The silence was only filled by the humming of the heater. He didn't know why, but the dashboard was so interesting than rejection in his opinion. He didn't know if she would flat out say no and slam the door in his face, and she was within her rights to do so, or politely decline, with the frosty professionalism she imposed on them.

How could he be such an idiot?

And what a big idiotic jackass he`d been.

If only he had talked with her after the Halloween party. If only he hadn't left for months and left her in her doubts, insecurities and hurt. If only he hadn't opened his mouth, stuck his foot down his throat, telling her that he basically regretted following her that night.

So many if-onlys.

So many regrets.

He now cringed each time, and those were far and between now, when she addressed him as Punk. Phil never tumbled from her lips, and he sourly missed that. Made him feel more than just a stranger from the street or something. And he never wanted to be a stranger to April. He wanted to be a friend and much more than that.

_"What`d I do?" For weeks and weeks he watched her practice, get her things and leave so fast it made his head spin. It felt like she was forced to coming here, and with having no place else to practice and the chilling looks she now supported, she couldn't get out of here fast enough._

_"I don't know Punk. What did you do ?" her voice emotionless. Not cold nor warm. Those were emotion her tune lacked whenever she addressed him now._

_"I don't know, you just been jetting out of here like you stole something" For the better part of last three months, he watched from afar as she practiced, planned and choreographed a piece. Leaving without a word. Even Joe and Scott noticed, since their friendship never suffered with her. She was out to get him personally._

_He never liked being singled out, especially in matters like this._

_"I need to spend more time practicing, get focused. I only got a few months left to get my piece done right. Catch you later, Punk" the 'P' popped, not with the usual teasing glint in her eyes. She really thought of him as a douche punk._

He shoved his hands in his jacket, leaving the truck running. He walked up the stairs which were damp from the earlier rain. His finger pushed the bell, hearing the melodic tune fill the apartments complex. A minute later Nessa opened the door.

He frowned. Something was off and her attempts to hide it were fruitless. Before he could question her, she cut him off "I got you covered, told them she was staying at DeDe in a girl`s slumber party. But if you try anything or make her cry, I swear to all things you hold dear, I`ll end any chances of you conceiving." She turned around, walked back to their apartment, and the moment she opened the door, the raised voices started to get louder now it was no longer confined by the now open door.

_"If you cared at all about me and the kids, you wouldn't have done so from the start" A crash, something shattering "Who do think I have been doing this for, huh? for you and your daughters"_

His concern was now amplified as he saw her step out brushing her cheeks. Tears. And the closer she got to him, the more his stomach dropped and his hackle rose; it was obvious by the redness and the puffiness of her eyes she had been crying hard.

The urge to gather her in his arms, and comfort her was threatening to snap like a twig as she stood before him, eyes glassy with remains of tears, a red nose and the brave little grimace of a smile that she was trying to put. She looked smaller dwarfed by a hoodie, too sizes too big for her, dark jeans and her chucks, hair in its usual curly state. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear "Can we go please?"

He guided her out, two steps ahead of her as he opened the door, carefully shutting it before joining her behind the wheel. The truck was now toasty warm, and his body shuddered the last of the cold as he started to enjoyed the heat.

"So where are we going?"

He fiddled around with the radio, finding a rock station before guiding the truck.

"It`s a surprise"

"But I hate surprises" he imitated her whiny voice, chuckling as she glared, happy that he somewhat too her mind out of whatever happened in their house. "Ass"

"You cut me April" he put a hand on his chest, faking hurt.

"Forgive me, I only meant to scratch" her voice dripping with false sincerity.

"Brat"

"Jerk"

"You love me anyways"

_I do._

"Come on, tell me"

"No"

"Please… pretty please…"

"Nope."

"Phil…" she began to whine, turning her body towards his.

His jaw clenched as he fought to keep himself in check. "You`ll find out when we get there" he fought the smile that threatened to break out on his face.

She called him Phil.

* * *

"Can I open now?"

"No not yet. Step" He gripped her tightly as she stumbled, almost losing her footing and falling.

"I said step"

"You never said up or down" her words were shoved through clenched teeth. A twisted ankle was so not on the agenda ever, and especially three months away from the biggest night of her life.

"Come on in" She heard a feminine voice greet them, the hand on the small of her back guiding her a messy gooey puddle of nerves.

Two down steps, a short walk, left and his hand on her shoulder stopped her. The tie that he used to blindfold her was removed and she stood in awe.

Several large frames hung from the walls, all containing and showcasing the art. Beautiful designs bright colors, odd effects. The place was the definition of super cool.

"I`ll be right back, Punk. Get ready OK"

She turned to him quizzically, finding him admiring a design before he faced her.

"Are you getting a tattoo?"

"Yup. And so are you."

"What?" her words tumbled out nervously, unsure wither he was kidding or not.

"Come on, you are a virgin. I want to de-flower you."

She felt her face flame heat, eyes darting around the room "What?" she squeaked.

_How did he know? Just what I need, him thinking me a clingy virgin girl. Oh god, I wish the floor would swallow me whole now._

_De-flower me. Oh sweet mother of Jesus, I've died and gone to heaven._

He was intrigued by the sudden tinging to her cheeks, eyes shy to meet his. The way she was holding herself, arms wrapped around her midsection, she looked skittish to be around him. It hit him.

She was a virgin, not just tattoo wise, but physically. The fact that no man touched her, was intimate with her added to her allure. The image of her as Poison Ivy still haunted him, she emitted sexual confidence that night, sensual and sexy and he had assumed, wrongly so now, that she had at least some experience under her belt, that she knew what she was doing as she dressed in the sinful dress, or the way her eyes called out to him to kiss her afterwards, her body pressed against his snugly soft curves with hard edges as she wiggled, driven by her desire. She was the perfect example of a sexual sensual being, yet now he knew otherwise.

If she was all of that and still a virgin, he could only imagine after she lost her innocence.

A siren.

He pitied her as he realized she was fudging under his staring, clearly flustered.

"You`re a black canvas. Every tattoo artist wet dream"

"Oh" her voice was breathless and he had to wonder what she thinking about, imagining "I don't know what to get or where I wanna put it"

"Yes you do" he walked to where a table was near the chair and the tools needed, his hand grasping the paper, showing her.

"So that`s where it went" She walked closer, inspecting the modified breathtaking design. Her initial drawing was ugly and talentless compared to this, the attention to the details and curved lines making this beautiful "It`s.. " she struggled to find words, her throat closing up as she gazed in wonder, the 'One day, I`ll have it' glaring at her.

It seemed that this 'one day' has arrived.

"It`s beautiful" he said, not looking at the paper, his gaze lingering on her. His soft smile dimmed as the light caught and reflected on the sheen of moisture in her eyes "You don't like it?" maybe he read her reaction wrong.

She looked to him, face caught between utter happiness and completely and openly crushed, only she could conjure up two extreme and different emotions at the same time "No one has ever cared about me, let alone showed compassion and concern like you did. Thanks Phil" he was mildly surprised as her small arms wrapped around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He was aware of how short she was yet she fitted perfectly against him. He hesitanted on where to put his arms around her. Too high, he`ll be stuck in the friends zone for good. Too low will grant him a greet and meet with her knee. He settled them inch above the end of her spine, and squeezed.

She felt right.

"I hope you realize you're not getting out of here blemish free." He smirked.

* * *

She exhaled tiredly as she gazed into the rainy night, the falling drops illuminated by the truck`s headlights. He turned to her in concern. "You OK?" he asked.

"Tired,"she sighed in return. "Been a long day."

"Yeah,"Punk admitted, keeping his eyes on the slick road

"The interstate looks so weird with hardly anyone on it,"AJ commented.

Punk peered into the night and nodded anxiously. "Yeah. That`s not a good sign. The less cars around, the less help there is if we need It."

"What would we need help for?"she asked curiously.

Any answer Punk might have given was cut off as the truck skidded on the damp street, a thin layer of ice due to the freezing cold added to the sliding. It spun off the road, finally coming to rest in a ditch a few yards away.

His hand quickly reached out for her, and he sighed in relief as he felt her hand come up to clasp his.  
"I`m okay," she whispered in a trembling voice. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah,"Punk breathed and turned his hand over to gently take her hand in his. He tried backing the truck out of the ditch, but the wheels purely spun vainly. Trying to drive forward proved equally unsuccessful.

Sighing, he unbuckled his seat belt "I`m going to go out and look at the truck. I`ll be right back."At her nod, he halfhearted released her fingers and opened the door. He leaned his head in and grinned pleadingly, "Please. Stay here."

She held up her hands in surrender. "I always do."

Closing his door against the cold air, he stomped around the truck checking on any damage. Startled when he suddenly appeared at her door, opening it and sticking his upper body inside. His nearness sending her pulse racing. He turned his head to look at her and grinned, making logical thought next to impossible for her.

"You staying warm enough?"

_If you only knew_, she thought ironically. "Yeah,"she managed to voice, an accomplishment she was quite proud of considering the fact that his face was merely inches from hers.

"Okay,"he nodded and hitched a thumb over his shoulder. "I`m gonna go dig out the emergency kit from the trunk."Pulling back, he leaned in again for one last comment. "Pray that there is one."

"A trunk or an emergency kit?"she called after him, rewarded for her efforts by his sudden reappearance.

"Funny"he said with a sarcastic face, then disappeared from view again.

A few minutes later, he slid back behind the wheel and flung the blanket from the emergency kit into the backseat. Rubbing his hands together and blowing into them for warmth, he shifted in his seat to lean against the door.

"I`m going to turn the truck off so we can save the battery in case we really need the heat later."Punk watched as she nodded, before he reached out and turned the ignition to off. Cold air marched into almost immediately, and she shivered in spite of herself. Before she knew what was happening, Punk had scooted close to her and flipped on the overhead light. Feeling her body close to his.

Not trusting his own voice in that brief second. He had made the mistake of looking into her eyes, the spark of passion he`d seen there making his heart beat madly in his chest. Opting for actions rather than words, he took her hands and clasped them in his, holding them against the warmth of his chest. The slight tremble of her fingers left him breathless, and he tried to remember what he was going to tell her.

"I managed to get a signal on my phone while I was looking for the blanket. Someone should be out to get us in about 3 hour or so. Said that some roads are closed down, ice forming, and it will take a while to get here" He rubbed his thumbs along the backs of her hands, noticing that she blinked slowly before answering.

"So, what are we going to do until then?"AJ wondered, unconsciously skimming her fingers along his shirt from within his grasp. The move was automatic, not something she had deliberately thought of before it happened. Yet, the effect on Punk did not escape her notice. She felt his breath grow shallow, sensed the hasty increase in his heartbeat, and realized that his grip on her hands had tightened gently.

Her fit of shivers brought him back to reality. "Cold?"he asked in concern.

Nodded as her teeth chattered, the cold suddenly invading her previous warmth. "S-s-sorry,"she managed, kicking herself for destroying the moment. She didn't need to have worried.

Punk`s finger feathered across her cheek, drawing her attention him. "Here,"he said once she was looking at him again. Still holding her hands tightly with one of his, he used his other hand to yank his shirt from his pants. Before she knew what was happening, he slid her hands inside his shirt and pulled her close.

"Better?"he asked

She nodded again, this time wordlessly, unable to convince herself to speak. His hands gripped her waist as she shifted to a more comfortable position, the movement sending her fingers across his bare skin.

"Can I ask you something?" he interrupted the silence it descended upon them.

"Sure"

"What happened at your house?"

He felt her tense against him, a shudder racking through her frame and into his "I don't wanna pry. Just tell me he`s not..."

She must have understood what he meant as she settled back against him "No, daddy never laid a finger on us. It`s just some hard times now"

He sighed relieved, he didn't want to think what`d he do if she was abused physically or emotionally. The sense of protectiveness was overwhelming. Even for him.

Who was he kidding? Especially for him.

She yawned failing to hide it, and she winced "Does it hurt?"

"It stings a bit, but over all I am glad I got it. Thanks again" She shifted, body snuggling up his own, seeking his warmth "Stop thanking me. You`ll curse me when you get hooked and you`ll become a walking breathing tattoo"

"I am so sleepy" her voice dropped and her body began to slacken against him.

Brushing her hair, he pressed a kiss to the crown of her hair "Sleep, I`ll wake you up when someone rescue us"

* * *

The truck had only a row of big leather seat, with his bulkier frame and her small one, they managed to fit. The blanket was now over them, tucked under her chin as it rested on his chest. He had maneuvered her body to lay completely on top, and covered them with cotton warm blanket. Her breath was even, face peaceful, with no scowl or glare messing up its beauty. Her eyelashes rested above her cheeks, fluttering every now and then, one arm was squashed between their bodies and the seat, the other was resting on his body, hand in a loose fist on top of his heart.

She wriggled her body as she shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position. He brushed her hair, fingers tangling in the soft tresses, and he knew he could do this for endless of hours. A small beep sounded in the silent truck and carefully he held his hand up closer to his face.

He smiled, it was 00:00 am.

Today`s March, 19th.

"Happy Birthday, love"

* * *

**She`s 18 and legal and the tension is at its highest.**

**Will they give in or will SOMETHING else stand in their way?**

**The tattoo, is on my twitter account.**

**/bebusam91/status/278627442833371136**

**Hope you have an awesome Christmas Eve and Merry Christmas everyone!**


	10. Chapter 10

**The music is 'It`s hard to say goodbye' by Michael Ortega**.

**/watch?NR=1&v=a_Am4cHMBKM&feature=endscreen**

**Happy reading**

* * *

**Mid June 2005**

**24 hours ago**

_"You're barking up the wrong tree. I'd watch where you're pointing those accusations."_

_"Oh yeah? So that wasn't some blonde bimbo verbally attacking me for stealing her man? You`ve been here for almost a year now and you've got all the female population drooling at you're feet…it's disgusting"_

_"Come on it`s not like you don't turn a few heads. Hell Joe practically undresses you with his eyes every time you walk into a room"_

_"What!" He watched her shake her head, obviously flustered. He frowned feeling heat flush through him, and not the kind of heat he was more used to._

_He was jealous. God damn jealous._

_Jealous of everything that came to the petite girl currently tapping her foot at him. Her hands placed on her slender hips. He glared as a certain part of his anatomy came to life as he watched her. He forced his mind and body to remember the fact that she was probably screwing that little boy at her school._

_He frowned feeling the tension coil through his body at the thought of anyone touching her._

_He noticed the change in her immediately. She smirked, her stance becoming more lazy. She looked down briefly before raising her eyes looking through her lashes. She moved into a seductive stance, and he knew it was to knock him off balance….and it frikkin' worked. She rolled her hips and immediately his eyes riveting to that area. He could feel his pulse quicken and his mouth go dry._

_She stepped close to him her fingers gently running over his shirt "You jealous Punk? Going crazy with the idea of someone else touching me, running skillful fingers over every edge…every contour? Someone else making me scream with pleasure"_

_"You're playing with fire. Why don't you stop playing with boys and take a ride with a real man" He was satisfied by the slight rounding of her eyes as she was pulled into his need. She leaned over him her lips close to his ear._

_"Thanks for the idea…Brooks!" He was feeling somewhat dazed, but he knew the minute she used his last name sarcastically that she was once again turning the situation around on him "I think I'll go out and find a real man. In fact I'll go see what Mark is up to"_

_He felt the familiar anger rise replacing his lust quickly "Fuck" He called out feeling incredibly frustrated._

_He grabbed his jacket as he made his way back inside the warehouse. His eyes narrowed as he looked through the people still hanging around, his eyes searching out one person in particular. Once he spotted her, he smirked lazily walking over to her._

_"Hey gorgeous" He drawled knowing it would turn his conquest on. He lounged against the counter she was sitting at. The moment she turned those dark brown eyes to him he knew he had her. He reached out gently tugging on a dark strand of her hair. "You want to go somewhere more comfortable?"_

_"What about you're crazy girlfriend?" He allowed himself the proper amount of confusion before pulling out his most charming smile._

_"She's not my girlfriend, and you don't need to worry about her" He took her hand gently pulling her from her seat. He leaned over pressing his lips firmly against hers, taking advantage as she opened her mouth slightly to allow him access. For a moment his brain screamed that this wasn't what he wanted. He pulled back watching her for a brief moment before smirking. If you can't have the one you want…love the one you're with._

* * *

**Mid June 2005**

**07:45 PM**

**The school`s annual talent show.**

The girl in mirror looked so much like her and looked just as much alien to her. The normally flowing hair was pulled tight in a ponytail, the newly dyed red tips curling at the end after the hair curler let go of the strands. Her graceful neck was adorned with a simple silver locket, one she had for years. The black gemstone contrasting with the white of her top as it rested above the fabric. Her hands rested on her lap as she let herself be dolled up with makeup. The stinging in her eyes had yet to disappear and it wasn't helping her that she has to open her eyes as the woman started to draw a thin line of eyeliner under her eyes. No one wanted their dance to be changed at the last minute, one you had been planning for endless nights and months. It was another blow to her already frayed nerves and it was not helping her calm down in any way possible. Her brother wasn't around and even if her mother brought a camera, it wasn't the same thing not even close. Phil was off somewhere probably with an older much experienced girl and after the nasty things she said to him, he was in his right not to show up. And now the other main lead was in a hospital due to a broken leg he sustained earlier this evening. It was just her luck that things would go this wrong in so little time.

"You`ll do great princess, and no matter what happens out there tonight, you have to know that we are all proud of you" She tried to smile, but all she managed to do was pull the corner of her lips in a grimace before they flattened once again, quivering against her will.

He willed her to turn around before kneeling in front of her and clasped her hands in his larger calloused ones "Now don't ruin the lady`s hard work, no tears. Can you do that for me?"

"But daddy, I have spent months on this and I have to dance to a routine I came up with on the spot five minutes ago. How is that fair?"

"Life isn't fair sweetie, nor is it easy. But those hardships we face make us stronger and help us know that we can survive and you will tonight. This isn't the end, there are million other chances waiting out there. You just have to make your own luck, eh?"

"OK" she untangled one hand, lightly brushing the stray tear that slipped by her, hoping her makeup wasn't smudged "Where is Nessa daddy? The show will start soon"

"Right here squirt. Mom`s is waiting for us to go get our seats" she put a hand to her dad`s back, guiding him out of the room "Break a leg, just not literally"

* * *

The re-tapped 3.5 X 2 colorfully designed brochure started to crumble as he squeezed his fist tight. From where he was standing he could hear the headmistress thank the previous act and a round of applause erupted for a good solid minute. The lights started to dim and focused on the middle aged principle on the center of the stage, the ugly brown curtains concealing the area behind her. He watched as stage hands moved the large black piano to the designated spot, left stage with enough room for her to move around it, the stool was pushed back to allow the pianist to sit before bringing it forward. He caught sight of the fluttering tulle tutu as she took her spot on the surface of the piano as her dance partner stood tall at the far end across from her. Images unwillingly danced in front of his eyes as last night`s practice came to him. He remembered as the music would hit and the curtain lifted up they would meet after twirling in a passionate embrace before disengaging and starting the actual dance.

He twirled the fedora for a while in his hands, before putting it on, tipping it forward to partially conceal his features. He took on last glance at the mirror and he was never as this insecure about the way he dressed. Black suit pants, white dress shirt; sleeves rolled up and a black vest over it. His now raven hair was tucked away, tied in a knot at the base of his neck. The reason why he was dressed this way. The same girl who was out waiting the moment to dance for her dreams.

Literally.

Fifteen minutes ago he was sitting around, comic book in hand as he tried unsuccessfully to keep his mind on the story and away from tonight`s show. And when Vanessa, her sister, called him from a payphone telling him hurriedly what had happened, he was contemplating to tell her off, that it wasn't his problem.

_"She needs your help. Please Phil"_

Those sisters really knew what to tell him to get his approval, the youngest more than her eldest sibling. So he blurred to the school, barely making it with 5 minutes to spare. So he explained he was the backup in case things went south. The wardrobe lady had given him a long hard look as she took in his tattoos, pierced lip, and long hair before thrusting clothes into his chest, pushing him behind a curtain so he could change. He cringed as he buttoned the shirt, always used to t-shirts and hoodies. The pants were all kinds of wrong, unlike his trusty ripped old jeans, that had seen better days.

The applause brought him back, as he waited for his cue to enter. They told him since he wasn't on time to be sitting before the show began, he was to wait as both dancers were at the front embracing with their backs to him and he would sit around, and act as if he was playing the piece.

When a lady gave him a light nudge, he breathed deeply, thrusting his gum in her open palm before he stepped into view.

He walked to the stool, the tipped hat helping him not go blind with the flash of cameras. There was a pause in the piano part, enough for him to reach, sit down and start to 'play'.

He pushed the stool forward, popping his knuckles and settling them over the black and white keys, his eyes staring transfixed on her.

Only her.

There was no male dancer holding her waist as he lifted her high, holding her hand as they moved gracefully over the floor. They glided effortlessly like they walked on fluffy clouds rather than hard wood. He waited for nod from across the stage as another girl with a clipboard and a head mike stood just behind the curtains.

He knew the piano casing was empty from the inside, as it simply was for show and would make no sound as you hit the keys, yet he hesitated as he pressed afraid to ruin this for her.

As she laid her head on Matt`s shoulder, one foot bent at the knee, the other wrapping around his own leg, much like a vein would wrap around a pole. His whispered words penetrated her skull like a nail would penetrate a wall "Piano".

She resisted the urge to snap directly to where the piano sat, and as she looked last it was hauntingly empty, another reminder that her original plan for the show was much better than this impromptu one. It was supposed to be a love triangle between two young lovers and an old yet handsome pianist. Her young beau would try to keep her away from the alluring mysterious dark man, as they danced symbolically dressed in white.

However with no one to fill for the pianist, who would have to lift her at some point in the show, the plan was dropped and she made one without him. So why would Matt tell her to look at an empty pi…

Phil.

She willed her legs to stiffen as she landed, her knees felt like jell-o at the sight of him and they threatened to give out from underneath her. She circled the stage, once, twice before coming to a halt in front of him.

If this was a dream and her eyes were deceiving her, she was willing to sleep for eternity, if it meant having him here, with her.

He had yet to lift his head and look at her; instead he was concentrating on his task. The metal of his lip ring reflected the light as he moved and when his tongue briefly flickered it, she thanked her lucky stars her hands where braced on the hard wood surface, or else she would be a sagging puddle at the floor.

Her hand reached to glide from one shoulder blade to the other, his muscles benching and tensing under her palm. His right hand stilled the movement as she continued the journey past his elbow and arm. Her small hand covered his larger one, brushing the dark markings on his knuckles. Trembling, he withdrew it to his lap as if he was stung or burned. It was close to the truth, her soft touches burned his skin with heat, and every feathery touch tightened his tensed stomach. Her other hand that was resting on his back, crawled upward to brush the back of his neck as her fingers danced over the keys.

Her touch gone, so suddenly, caused him to raise his sight, watching as her 'lover' dragged her away, and as he twirled her with one hand, the other was outstretched to him, and he had to clamp on the urge to get up and whisk her away. This was all an act. Make belief. A show. A charade.

In the end, not real.

It went on, spin after spin the show continued. The tulle danced around her in waves as she twirled on the tip of her pointe. How many times have she corrected him?

_"Those are pointe not just a 'ballet shoes'. These are my wrestling boots"_

Her movements held a sadness that seemed very much unlike her youth.

Her shining eyes were aimed at nothing, and she seemed to dance only for the moment. The tutu swayed silently to and fro, while her perfection caused devotional silence. The black pointes, into which she had forced her well-trained feet, were clearly silhouetted against her white legs.  
And he couldn't tear his eyes from her.

He watched her back arch as her partner lifted her small body high up, and her hands floated frozen in midair. She looked like a doll hanging from strings, as the puppet master closed the show and the ballerina stayed still, suspended in midair. Frozen in time.

Another nod and he knew the show was close to an end.

His part was up.

He watched as they said their goodbyes, the male going to dance his sorrows at the end of the stage, disappearing behind the curtains. Her back was to him as he stood up from the stool, walked to stand in front of the piano, feeling like a dork the entire time. He was out of his element here. A hardened wrestler in the delicate world of ballet. Just another reminder why they didn't belong in each other`s life.

_"April is young and innocent; she doesn't know what she wants"_

She whirled around to face him.

His palms sweaty.

Her breath catching.

His heart pounding.

She closed her eyes.

He closed his eyes.

And she flew to him. A butterfly flying into the arms of fiery bless.

* * *

He caught her.

He would always catch her.

Hands encircling her tiny waist securely and gently. He circled in place slowly, trying to prolong this moment as much as humanly possible.

He stilled, lowering her body inch by inch, his skin burned where it felt hers glide across it. He held himself as her young and blossoming chest brushed his chest, hoping for all hopes that she didn't feel his heart drumming painfully against his ribcage. The she didn't feel the trembling in his arms as he held her.

Her arms brushed each side of his neck as her feet touched the ground. Finally landing from her constant flight, she was able to look into the moss gems hidden by the tipped hat. They sparkled with something unknown to her, yet she felt it draw her near, like a magnet. She read about those eyes in the romance novels her sister kept in the dresser; saw them in the old black and white movies she indulged in with her mother late Friday nights.

She knew once she stepped foot off this stage, this would be over. Had Cinderella felt like her as the clock stroked 12 and was forced to leave her fairytale?

She highly doubted it. Fairytale always got a happy ending. Real life didn't. She would go back to her house with her parents and he would go back to his shows, and they would never have a moment like this again.

Ever.

There was no one in the audience who wasn't addicted to her devotion and whose eyes did not burn upon her. And he knew if he turned around he would read more admiration than he would have liked in the eyes of men who saw her dance.

The light dimmed more until they were completely enveloped in darkness as the curtains started to lower and hide them from the standing ovation. He stood waiting for her to break away first, because he couldn't, wouldn't and didn't want her to leave ever.

Over the thunderous claps he heard her. Breathless and trembling the words left her lips in a rush.

"Kiss me"

* * *

Thoughts?


	11. Chapter 11

**Happy reading :)**

* * *

_"…we can`t find her anywhere. She`s gone Phil. April is gone"_

His body shimmered with sweat, the shirt long gone as punches became harder, viscous, damaging. It became less about training and more about releasing suppressed rage. Raven hair stuck to his forehead, loosening from the elastic that held it together. He was swimming in a red haze of frenzied fury, breathing the frustrations, the pain, the confusion to the point of drunkenness.

All because of a kiss.

_Her eyes shimmered in the darkness, begging him not to refuse her. It mirrored what was probably in his eyes, pleading for her not to refuse him either. His hand cupped the back of her neck, keeping her in place, lowering his head to meet her offered lips midway. Her eyes held his, fluttering close as brushed the lips fleetingly, feeling his knees ready to buckle to the floor. He took a step closer, brushing the trembling glossed lips once more before settling over hers completely. On a heavy sigh, she parted them beneath his own, and she brought her body closer flush against his as the applause continued. Out of pure instinct resulting from millions of years of girls desiring tall handsome men, she responded, kissing him back, grabbing his shoulders, rubbing against him as she stood on her pointee, giving her an extra inch in height. Hands fanning his neck and brushing his jaw, she ran her tongue along his bottom teeth, his own straining to follow her. His groan vibrated through her and she felt her inside clench as she imagined him, tongue exploring every inch of her body, tasting her, his hands joining him before he would lay above her, hard, coiled and ready to pounce on a body that no man has ever seen before. With a soft sigh, she leaned into him, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His tongue snaked past her lips, finding her own. Her hands found his shoulders, but rather than pushing him away, her short fingernails bit into the corded flesh. The hand that wasn't cupping her cheek, winded around her waist, pulling more in contact with his body. A year of frustrations, tension and want finally exploded as their breaths were sealed by their kiss._

They had broken apart, as her lips ripped away from his, he felt something else be ripped from his insides. Her lips were swollen, gloss barely there, her eyes hooded and lashes heavy. Against his chest, he felt the crazy tempo of her heart.

So he had left her at the center of the stage to take a bow and meet the sponsors that the school managed to get. Her eyes focused on him as he stood at the back near the door, he tipped his hat, turning his back and walking out.

"What do you mean gone?"

Gone out?

Gone to get some milk?

Gone WHERE?

_"I don't know. She was at home with us and then she went out, no one knows where she is. Pleas..."_

* * *

She stood outside of his apartment. She kept meaning to knock, but couldn't quite bring herself to do so. Instead she shifted from one foot to the other, wondering what she'd say, what she'd ask, wanting desperately to talk to him about what happened and at the same time wanting to be as far away from this door as possible. She really needed to see him, so much it physically hurt.

She knocked on the door before she could stop herself. She heard footsteps and the door opened with him standing in the frame. He nearly filled it with his height and breadth. She could hear Nessa`s frantic voice on the phone _"Phil please find my sister"_

She took as he offered her the phone. Her fingers burning as they grazed his, her eyes screaming and hurtling accusations at the red knuckles.

"Nessa" her voice small,tired and resigned.

Resigned to what, he didn't know. Wasn't sure he even wanted to.

"Nessa, I need to do me a favor please. Cover for me" her eyes held his as she breathed the next words in the empty dark hallway "I am spending the night"

He noticed that his eyes immediately wanted to drop from her cool, inquisitive stare. He'd been dropping his eyes from hers forever, terrified of what she'd see in them.

She flipped the phone shut, flipping the case to take off the battery along with the SIM card, tossing both on a table as she brushed by him inside the apartment.

She took stock of him as followed behind her, pleased that he locked the doors, securing the chain, and she couldn't help it. His bare soft warm chest, his thick arms were ropey, muscular, and well defined.

"I am sorry"

She was surprised. "Why are you sorry?"

"For kissing you."

"Are you really?"

He almost jumped out of his skin as her open palm rested at the middle of his back.

"Personally, I'd rather we just admit what's happening between us,"

He cocked his head towards her, his expression unreadable. "What's happening between us, April?"

She exhaled. It stuttered in her tight chest, making it sound like a forlorn whimper. Maybe she shouldn't have been honest with him. She sighed. She was suddenly so tired of games, tired of dancing around each other. If he didn't want to talk about it, she'd just take her cue. She pulled her keys from her purse and put the strap over her shoulder as she began to back away from him. "Never mind, then"

He grabbed her by her shoulders so suddenly that she dropped her things in surprise as he brought her within inches of his face, which was now wide-eyed with alarm at her leaving. "What _is _happening between us, April? I'm not being coy. I want to know what you think. I can't read your mind. Tell me what you're thinking."

Her hands shakily reached behind for the zipper of her dress, his eyes closing as she let the straps fall off her shoulders. It pooled around her legs before she stepped out of it, her ballet flats resting now beside it.

He could feel the heat increase as she stepped closer to him. Her hand trembled as it reached for his own, brushing it before placing his open palm over her chest, the young perky skin was snugged in the clutch of his hand, a hard bud brushed the skin as she breathed, her chest expanding as she inhaled and exhaled her insecurities and fears.

"Touch me Phil"

* * *

"April?" He swallowed. It suddenly felt like a Buick was caught in his throat.

Her hand brushed his jaw as he stood still before her, his palm cupping over her chest. She was naked infront of him, no reservations, no nerves as she tucked at the elastic holding his hair. The long raven locks were mesmerizing as they framed his face. She brushed some of it back so it no longer hid his achingly beautiful face "I have been wanting to do that for almost a year" She ignored him,her voice was wistful, soft as her fingers played with the soft feathery locks.

Would her unstintingly truthful lover want that certain act with her? Would he, keep that wish to himself? His rough and splintered frankness meant everything to her. Varnish only served to gloss over the truth. She had no love for varnish. She wanted splinters.

"You look nervous," she whispered.

"So do you, sweetheart," he whispered back.

His other hand was in a tight fist at his side, either to keep from touching her, or punching her out. Keeping one hand over the one on her breast, she caught the other, fingers tracing the lines, lightly brushing the angry read knuckles and if it hurt him, he didn't show it. Her lips closed around a knuckle, inches above the tattooed 'F', and she felt him shudder and take a step closer helplessly.

As he blew right past her nervous smile and dove in, all anxieties and shyness obliterated as he hungrily pulled her to him and claimed her lips with his, growling deep in his chest with approval. Given their actions, her kiss was shy. Lips tentatively opened under his; soft, trembling and moist.

Fuck being nervous. Fuck the whys and her reasons and his residual questions. They could wait. His pent-up need had accumulated from a single drop to a great lake during their rocky and unusual relationship and now the moment she gave her consent to his advances, he felt the dam breaking like a twig.

She felt calm. Surprisingly so. After spending so many months thinking it was the _act _that she objected to, she had realized the minute his lips touched hers, that it was partners that she had balked against. Up until him.

"Talk to me," he murmured against her lips. "Tell me why you want this."

"Need it. Need you" She curled her hands along his arms, fearing he would back away from her admission, from her touch, from her.

How many times had he imagined this moment. Confessing her want and need of him much like he wanted and needed her, only after he forced the matter, not the other way around. It made it all more special, all more treasured.

He pulled back, fighting the urge to dive back in as her lips trailed behind him in disappointment "Look at me" her now full blown black eyes struggled to focus on him, shifting between his eyes and lower, probably his lips. Having a conversation with a a beautiful naked woman. When was the last time he had done that? Usually when there was a naked lady in the house her mouth was doing something else other than talking. Less noise, more fun.

But she wasn't like those before her. The fact that he hated her for the better part of their relationship, the fact that she gave it as good as she got it, the fact that she choose him made all the difference in the world.

It took her a while to regain her focus on him and by then he had her dress in his hand.

"Put this on" He watched her eyes fill with confusion, sadness, shame and anger all swirling in a fiery dance. She snatched it, feeling the blush creep up her exposed chest, neck and face all to the root of her hair.

Amused, he watched her struggle with the zipper, finally giving up before turning. He shot his arm out curling around her arm with enough strength to keep her.

"Let me go"

_Never_ "How did you get here April?"

"Scott. Now let me leave"

Unreasonable jealousy flared within, she was "You were practically naked with Scott in the car?"

She whirled around, a strap falling off her shoulder, the open zipper not holding the dress together "I don't want Scott. And besides he won`t touch me, you know that"

"Who do you want, April?"

Was he fucking with her "Are you fucking with me?" she ignored his glare at her foul language.

"No, I fuck you not" _At least not yet_ " Who do you want? In all of this you said you needed it and to touch you. Not who you wanted to d-"

"It`s you god damn it. It`s always been you, It`s always gonna be you"

That was it, all he needed to hear. _For now._

He walked passed her, stopping a foot away, hand held for her to take it. He was standing outside his bedroom door.

"Why did y-"

"Why did I tell you to put your dress back on?" He saw her nod

"Because I want to be the one to take it off"

* * *

She eyed the unmade bed, sheets rumbled, pillow looking like it has been punched enough times in its poor short existence. He had left her and went back out to check the doors, no use to be embarrassed and be caught with their pants down. Literally.

Almost in a daze, she stood there, shivering, unbelievably tense as she awaited his touch, all her senses on alert as she tried to figure out what he was going to do to her.

Her first clue was a small puff of air in the middle of her back, the second, his warm lips brushing lightly back and forth over the same area. She jumped involuntarily at the incredibly arousing sensation, unable to help herself.

"Trust me." Taking her hands in his, he used his body to propel her from behind. Sighing helplessly, she closed her eyes as she felt his lips touch down between her shoulder blades once more. Shivers ran up and down her spine and she fought the urge to arch into him. Trust him to immediately find an extremely sensitive spot.

He breathed over her spine, pressing gentle kisses wherever the urge struck him, his eyes sparkling with delight as he watched the goosebumps rising in his wake. Becoming bolder, his kisses grew stronger, became licks, then nips, even playful bites.

He had her now, crushing her sensations with all of his might. Sending liquid fire through her veins with a simple touch. Out of the complicated heap of emotions, joy leaped high in the air. It was so bright and relieved that it nearly knocked the wind out of her. Her hands automatically closed over his wrists, her thumbs rubbing over the raised veins, tracing the marked skin with hesitant feathery touches. She was in the shadow of his frame, the ridge line of his body being over a foot taller than hers. More than ever, she felt small and dainty, especially when the thick material of his clothes slid against her warm skin.

His finger danced under the strap before bringing it over her shoulder blade and down her arm, mirroring the action on the other one. She let go of her death grip on the front, feeling it slip over her now incredibly sensitive breasts and abdomen before puddling at her feet.

Gradually, his fingertips and knuckles joined in, both hands skimming lightly over her bare back, stroking up and down the soft, vulnerable skin of her sides almost up to her breasts before retreating back down toward her tiny waist.

"Your skin is so soft, so warm" He murmured huskily against her shoulder, his teeth finding a fleshy spot and biting down lightly as his hands finally moved up to cup her breasts. A throaty groan escaped him as she purred involuntarily. "You feel so good, you know. Like silk. Living, breathing silk."

He moved his head into the curve of her neck, nuzzling her hair aside and inhaling softly before breathing his next words out over her neck "And you smell even better. Do you taste as sweet, I wonder?" His tongue ran gently up the back of her neck until he reached her ear, where he nibbled on the lobe, driving her to distraction.

Amazing. Even the sound of his voice is arousing. Not to mention what he's doing with his hands and lips and… oh God…his teeth. Already she could feel herself becoming incredibly wet, the unusual sensation taking her by surprise. Her skin felt like it was on fire, and he'd hardly even touched her. She arched in his arms, unable to coherently answer him as a low moan escaped her lips. "Mmm…more."

Grinning, he complied, his touch light at first. Sometimes barely touching, he teased her as he traced the outline of her nipples before fondling her breasts with abandon, his lips continuing to wander over her shoulders and neck. Rolling her nipples between his fingers, he tugged on them, interspersing delicate touches with rougher ones. Knowing instinctively what she wanted.

Needed so desperately.

After several minutes, he abandoned them, his hands slowly slipping down over her abdomen and past her belly button. Gradually moving lower, over her hips and down her thighs, skimming along the insides and encouraging her legs to spread wider for him, allowing him access to her most intimate parts.

She cried out when his fingers finally brushed against the soft mound at the apex of her thighs, exposing the soft, sensitive bud hidden among her dark curls to his expert attention. He took his time, the palm of his hand gently massaging her as his fingers slid teasingly across her wet opening, tracing the hyper sensitive tissues in feathery touch. By his groan, she wasn't sure whom he was torturing; her or himself.

Her hands held to the arm he curled around her waist for support "I can't…" she whimpered, her hips moved instinctively with his movements, her body and desire taking control and lead, pushing her insecurities and inexperience down as she began to lose control, her knees melting.

He continued stroking her with his right hand "Yes you can." He cupped her left breast in his hand, his thumb grazing over her hardened sensitive nipple again and again.

"Ohhh!" leaning back against his chest and resting her head against his shoulder, her eyes tightly closed. Encouraged by her obvious pleasure and getting rather turned on himself, he rubbed his captive erection between the cleft of her buttocks and groaned in frustration at the inadequate friction.

_Fuck! I'd kill to be inside you right now April. But this isn't just about me. I need to make you want this just as much as I do, if not more._

Placing one finger on either side of the delicate nub to hold it captive, he began stroking her relentlessly, his rhythm never faltering as he slipped his middle finger inside her molten core.

"Mmm… You're so tight. So wet. I can't wait to taste you." He continued moving both hands, one caressing her erect nipples, the other palming her clit and stroking inside her as he kissed the delicate shell of her ear, sighing her name over and over again.

"Oh God." tossing her head back and forth and writhing against him, her hips thrusting wildly against his hand. She pushed up on to her toes and arched into the solid wall of flesh behind her, grateful for his support as her world spun crazily around her.

Sensation piled upon sensation. Lights flashed behind her closed eyelids, his hot, tense muscles, pressed ever so invitingly against the length of her spine, the only thing keeping her upright. Her own name filled her ears, leaving his lips in a deep, husky voice that surely must have been designed to drive her crazy. The musky scent of arousal, sweat and the smell that was pure Phil permeated the air, surrounding her in an erotic bubble.

He could feel every contraction of her muscles around his fingers, sweet nectar flowing from her and pooling on his hand as she strained against him.

Eventually, she sagged against him, slowly becoming aware of his gaze on her. He deliberately raised his right hand to his generous lips, his tongue coming out to lick his glistening middle finger before sucking it in to his mouth. Pulling it out slowly, he partially closed his eyes, enjoying the taste. "I was right about one thing."

It took her a minute to find her voice again, but she hesitantly replied, "What's that?"

Pinning her with his gaze, he grinned wickedly. "You do taste sweet."

* * *

She shivered as her bare back met the mattress, the pillow smelled of him. Manly, earthy and addicting. She was so snatching that pillow before she left.

His soft warm breath tickled the inside of her thigh, and she felt the heat from the root of her hair to her baby toe as she lay exposed and bare before his hungry gaze. The need to taste her, which had been driving him crazy all night, became impossible to ignore. Ghost like touches danced across her skin as he pried her legs apart, feeling the tensing of her muscles.

He pressed a kiss to a trembling thigh, her womb clenching as his whiskered beard scratched the hyper sensitive skin. She damn neared jumped to the ceiling as a hot puff of air tickled her womanly core, something warm and wet slowly drenching her folds as he pressed his lips intimately over her, pulling the flesh slightly. Flattening his tongue, he pressed it gently over her folds, the wetness of his saliva and her own evidence of desire, desire for him, aided his movements as he glided it back and forth, gently.

"Dear God!" She gasped, arching up against him, her fingers digging into his hair, trying to drag him away from her, but he refused to move, holding her hips steady with his hands.

"Calm down." Looking up at her, he murmured, "I've been dying to taste you, April. Do you trust me?" His eyes were flashing with desire, intensely green as they shone up at her, pleading for her consent. Nibbling on her lower lip and nodding , as he slowly eased her death grip on his hair and tried to relax.

He took the opportunity and ran with it.

He gently slipped a finger inside her "Feel good?" he nipped at the inside of her thigh, his voice dripping of sex and carnal pleasures.

She nodded, breathless.

"Tell me." his finger curled inside her, his pace slowing, as he waited for her.

She could feel her body tightening, tendrils of awareness shooting through her as she felt his fingers stroking over her, in her, sliding easily through the moist heat she was producing, his lips, his tongue caressing her intimately, erotically, and she gave herself up to it. To him.

Her stomach quivered, the muscles in her thighs tensing, her hips arching up toward his mouth of their own accord, trying to get closer to him, to ease the delicious tension coiling low in her body, to … "Phil!"

He continued his movements, gradually slowing down after he felt her climax around his tongue, looking up and watching her, his eyes alive with something primitive and possessive. Her eyes were clenched tightly closed, mouth open gasping for air, her whole body shivering with reaction as her fingers twisted in his hair.

He slid his lips up over her body, taking her mouth again and again, plundering her with hot, wet-tongued kisses. Deep, erotic kisses that pushed them both over the edge. She could taste herself in his mouth and was stunned by the rush of excitement it aroused in her.

He watched her intently, the play of emotions across her face too fast to read accurately. Is she happy? Excited? He couldn't quite believe any of this was happening. It was almost surreal. "Do you want to stop?"

"No" She blushed and looked up at him shyly, seeing the surprise and almost immediate satisfaction flaring in his eyes. "I just… I don't want you to expect too much from me and end up being disappointed."

"You could never disappoint me, April." His husky whisper swept through her. Studying her face carefully, noting her serious expression, he asked one last time. "You're sure about this? About me?"

She nodded, something indefinable shining in her eyes. "There's no one I trust more."

His heart squeezed painfully in his chest. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down his racing heart. "Okay then."

He brushed his fingertips over her lips gently, eliciting a shiver from her and a sexy grin from him. "Smile doll face. This is supposed to be fun. To feel good." Her lips quirked a bit under his fingers. For once, the nickname didn't sound so bad leaving his lips, was almost an endearment in fact.

"We've got all the time in the world."

She wanted to scream it, to tell him. He`ll fix it, he always did. Phil always made things better.

_No, we don't._

Gulping audibly, gently pressing her lips against his, her eyelids fluttering shut as she discovered the warm velvet there.

His hands framed her face, ran softly through her hair as his lips caressed hers. They were soft and moist, trembling beneath his. Keeping the pressure light at first, he sampled her, his lips brushing back and forth against hers, teasing her, his tongue slipping out to trace them, encouraging her to open up to him.

Slowly and surly she did, her mouth parting on a moan, her own tongue moving to meet his as her head tilted back a bit, a soft sigh escaping her lips. He kissed the way she'd always dreamed of being kissed, drinking her in as if he could never get his fill.

She didn't understand how a man built like a tank could kiss as softly as a feather caressing her lips. Or how his hands—hands built for punching and crushing—could feel like gentle and inquisitive velvet moving over her body. She murmured against his lips, wrapping arms around his back and pulling him tighter against her. She almost needed confirmation that it wasn't just feathers and velvet in her arms, but Phil.

Her hands confirmed it: 6'2", 240lbs.

Her man.

She smiled into their kiss at the thought as she increased the pressure on his lips. She loved his tenderness, but her desire was becoming more urgent. She needed more. So. Much. More.

She'd been aching to touch him for so long, yearning to stroke her fingers over his heated flesh, the glimpses and small touches she'd had over the past several months not coming anywhere close to this. He was fascinating, lean and solid, the texture of his skin hot and smooth, hard muscles jumping and flexing beneath taut flesh. Her hands roamed over the expanse of his back, feeling his hard muscles flex under them. She wasn't at all surprised at how smooth his skin was. It was like silk under her fingers but it did nothing to obscure the raw power in the muscles that lay beneath.

She kissed like rain, falling sweetly in tune with the beat of his heart as he attempted to catch his breath. Her lips skimming the plans of his chest, down his abdomen to dip teeth and then tongue into his navel.

It swirled, a quick wetness that stole his thoughts and sparked a warmth at the base of his spine. A warmth that stumbled him, humbled him as she stole him from the loneliness and made him real. Made him wish, for a moment, an instant that he was normal and prefect and the man she wanted him to be.

Her hands shakily grasped the zipper, hand brushing the noticeable arousal behind the fabric. From one touch, she felt he would be big. What if she didn't fit? She felt excitement, lust, and a tiny sprinkle of fear at this. How big was too big? Would it actually be painful? Heart pounding she pushed the fabric over his lean hips, fingers catching the edge of his briefs taking them down as well. He pushed up from her, kicking them away before he returned. They were both naked now. On equal footing.

He swallowed her moans; delighted by the hungry response he was getting from her. His heart almost stopped when her hands began moving of their own volition, slowly exploring the hard planes of his chest. They were chemically drawn; she was his catalyst, his other ingredient that melted with his every molecule perfectly.

Desire curled through her, her lower body tightening, starting to ache as moisture beaded inside her. Easing her hands down, she dipped her hand in the hip dents that fascinated her for months before finding incredibly hot, velvety steel.

"Fuck!" his hips jerked hard against her and he tensed. She immediately looked up at him, startled, afraid she'd crossed some invisible line. He moved her hands quickly away, bringing them up to his lips for a kiss. Seeing the worry in her eyes, he growled, "You didn't do anything wrong, baby." He struggled to take in air. "I'm just… a bit on edge right now."

He bent down again; capturing her mouth and attention as his hands moved back to her hips and pulled her in to his body, enfolding her in his arms so that her breasts brushed against his bare chest. His fingers ran lightly up and down her back and she arched into him.

Her legs widened more and he stepped into the cradle of her thighs.

_This shit just got real_.

He broke the kiss, yet kept his lips against hers, forehead resting against hers.

He took a deep, steadying breath "Tell me everything you feel." It was not a request. She nodded as she felt him widen her legs more, opening up to him more, fingers running over her, testing her "So wet" his fleeting touch vanished and was replaced with something hard, long and ohh god it felt a hundred times more better.

"Different," she murmured as he pressed softly, running his length over the wet fold. "Feels different." She felt him move lower, she knew enough to know what will happen next. New and unused skin parted slightly as he pushed gently at her entrance.

He lowered his head and kissed her, his lips as gentle as his probes. "You're tight there," he whispered against her. "So fucking tight. Am I hurting you?"

She shook her head and tilted her hips more, wordlessly asking him to continue.

He gritted his teeth and pushed slightly harder. He felt her muscles give slightly and he groaned as the slickness on her insides gave him an inch's worth of access. "Oh, Jesus Christ, baby," he moaned hotly against her cheek. "I've _got_ to be hurting you. Tell me."

She could only moaned in answer. Her body felt boneless. As he massaged and worked his way in, she felt a million nerve endings scream with pleasure. It was so sensitive there, she felt absolutely everything. "No," she whispered urgently. "Doesn't hurt…feels…tight…feels good…so good…"

He stilled, feeling the last barrier between this and filling her to the brim. He looked up at her, eyes filled with wonder at what she was feeling. It will kill him to hurt her, but it had to be done. He cupped her cheek, lips barely a breath away from hers. He pushed quickly, not wanting to prolong it, feeling the thin skin break as his lip swallowed her whimper of pain.

She felt warm.

He felt at home.

"I'm so sorry" His hot breath burn her cheek, raining kisses over her temple and soothingly stroking her hair. Gods, she felt heavenly. Tight, warm and his. "Tell me what to do?" He could see her trying hard to not cry as she turned her head and looked up at him with those brown eyes.

"Make love to me, Phil."

After a long, endless minute, he began to move, slowly, carefully, easing out and then filling her, again and again, out and then in, over and over, trying to drag out the intense pleasure coursing through their veins. If he wasn't careful, this part would end up before it began, how embarrassing to feel like a horny teenage boy all of a sudden all because of one little girl. A virgin little girl.

She clenched around him, a reminder that she was no longer this sweet innocent little thing. He had tainted her with darkness. A thought that should have made his stomach heave, not sends bolts of desire through him.

She was like a flame ,burning, gasping, eating him alive and enjoying every moment of it.

His strokes picked became faster as her hips found his tempo, the whimpers of pain were now needy moans leaving her delicate arching throat, bared before him to mark and sink his teeth in.

Tracing her shoulder, palming her breast, skimming her thigh. He cupped the back of a knee, lifted, widening and tightening her in the same instant and pulled out. Only to piston back in with enough force to stop her breath. Her hands rose, grasping, pulling, bringing them sweat slicked chest to sweat slicked chest. He pushed her knee higher, ignored the hiss of displeasure that slid into a whimper of need when he rolled his hips forward and she withered.

It was everything she'd ever imagined, and more. Every primitive grunt and growl that left his lips turning her on even more. His shaft pressing deep inside her, deeper than anyone had ever touched her before, finding an area that was turning her world upside down, sensation building upon sensation until she couldn't catch her breath ,his gaze roving possessively over every supple curve as he smiled rakishly. "You're mine now."

It was the final nail in her coffin. There was no way she could resist the man she loved.

The muscles of her womb contracted tightly around him and he barely managed to hang on through her climax, his body going rigid, the pleasure as she spasmed around his shaft almost too much to bear.

He pressed deeper and harder, his head arching back, low growls of pleasure rumbling over and over in his chest as bright white light exploded behind his closed lids, following her over the cliff. She pressed against him; nails buried in his shoulders as shock waves overpowered her, her staggering release shaking through her.

He released her legs, his fingers running up to tangle in her hair, lowering his head and resting his cheek next to hers, shaking uncontrollably. Eventually noticing her tears, he lifted his head a bit, pressing light kisses over her cheeks and lips, murmuring, "It's all right, baby. Everything's okay." He pulled her into his arms and rolled over on to his back, taking her with him.

* * *

His hand stroked the span of exposed back gently, soothingly to help get her frantic heart beats which was thudding against his chest to match hers. They lain in a heap of tangled limbs; arms encircling her petite body, her leg sandwiched in between his, head nestled in the crock of his neck, her breath burning him as she gulped for air. He felt her eyelashes fan the skin under his jaw as she blinked repeatedly a small hand splayed over his heart, slightly curled. He brought her hand, so small in his to his lips and tenderly placed a kiss there.

She shifted, trying to burrow closer into his warm body, her smooth bare skin rubbing against his equally bare body. Her small grunt not lost on him "Feel OK?"

Startled by the disturbance of silence, she looked up at him. She remembered the crystal clear image of the up-down gyration his ass, the flexing of golden muscles at the curve of his back that would be visible over his shoulder and it was as if she were beneath the weight of him moaning. She could practically feel the warmth of his skin under her fingernails as he grunted against her neck. Eyes closed and a soft breath passing between her parted lips, she could imagine the feel of his tongue trailing up her inner thigh, his abrasive jaw parting her wide. Unconscious to her body`s instinct movements, one smooth silky leg moved up and down, the heat of her core scalding his thigh and he felt himself harden again. She was a playful vixen, who wasn't aware of being one.

She smiled "Never felt better in my life"

* * *

**Oh god I am so sorry. Hope no body died :/**

**Anyone? Hello? Oh crap.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Part of lyrics to my favorite song of N Sync, Gone.**

**I like boy bands, only the good ones :D**  
**It switches back and forth between where the last chapter ended and 3 months later also two different perspective. My only hope you don't get confused.**

**Happy.. I don't know about happy...just read alright.**

* * *

**September 2005**

There was no hello. Not really nor in the usual sense of hello.

The beginning of things brought forth a hello but for him it didn't. It never did, not when it came to her at least. It started with a series of snide remarks and inane run on sentences about things that sometimes made sense and sometimes didn't. A circle of jumbled words that made absolute perfect sense. There was a bubble of laughter that seemed to spread throughout her body and the warmth that spread throughout his heart. There was talk of superheros and zombies. There was talk of tacos - the better kind that you could get with a large coke, the worse kind that were made of tree bark and smashed berries. There was talk of the delicacy that is her dancing and viciousness of his wrestling. There was a talk of her dreams and a talk of his ambitions.

It was never a hello, not in the common normal sense.

"_Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me." She chanted as he pushed her to her back, crawling over her._

"_Never," he promised, his arms splayed wide around her._

His hand stilled, the white shirt crumbled in his fist, his restraint barely holding from snapping like a twig during a tornado. His nostrils flared as he breathed harshly, lips thinning in a straight line, pursed tightly. He lowered the shirt he had been folding beforehand to the bed where a half empty suitcase lay. His body dropping heavily on the bed next to it. His back was hunched as he rested his elbows on his knees; head cradled between his hands. Moments passed and he maintained his posture before breaking, hand rubbing over his tired face, exhaling loudly. He closed his eyes and he saw her. So hauntingly clear and vivid. She was smiling at him, her head tilted to the side as she crossed her arms, silently analyzing him, she laughed happily, throwing her arms up before swirling on the heel of her shoes, sending him the playful grin that he loved so dearly yet saw so little of.

She was still as unreachable as ever though she stood right before him, and it was slowly beginning to tear away at the life he had worked so hard at to regain.

"One day it'll go away"

He just wants her to go away; he just wants this damaged thing between them to be over for good.

_There's a thousand words that I could say_  
_To make you come home_  
_Oh, seems so long ago you walked away_  
_Left me alone_

_"Hay wait up"_

_Her hand stilled, letting go of the handle. Blood rushed to her ears, her eyes pricking with tears. His hand grasped her shoulder, turning her around to face him. His slight catch of breath was at her obvious state of distress. Dark circles starting to form, the otherwise dusky golden skin was pale, her eyes red-rimmed and no spark. Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong._

_What the hell happened?_

_"What`s wrong? Did Phil do-" he stopped, he had to. Her face twisted at the mere mention of the name, and from that he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what`s wrong. Phil was a brother to him but so was she. He`d rather die than have something happen to her._

_"Nana`s sick, and we have go be with her. Mum and dad left earlier this morning" He looked up, finding Vanessa standing by her door, her eyes focusing in concern at her sister. He looked back to April, before stilling; suspicion filling him._

_Just how many suitcases did one need to visit a sick grandma?_

_"He knows you`re going?" he knew the answer. If she had, he would be here or even driving her himself. But he wasn't so either they didn't work it out last night or she really was trying to keep Phil in the dark about her plans._

_"We have to go. Let`s go April"_

_He stepped back as she opened the door, watching as she tried to buckle her seat belt, her sister taking over when it was obvious she couldn't do it. The suspicions confirmed._

_She was trying to run away._

_He just hoped he`d be able to warn Phil._

* * *

_"Anyone you want to say goodbye to?"_

_Her eyes flickered from the weary face to the torn page she was offering her. Her lips pressed together in a thin line as she hesitated for a bare second, but then her hand crept up and accepted it practically of its own accord._

_She let the tip dangle frozen over the paper. She had given her the last page of her own diary, and the block of text only filled a quarter of the sheet. The rest was blank. Crisp and white. A space for her to say goodbye._

_Vanessa watched her write, biting her lip as she did. The shoe box lay under her seat, already too full to close properly but she would squeeze that last scrap of paper she gave April, whose diary was already full to write one single letter. The car was now parked outside the comic shop where she used to work, their parents already five hours ahead of them in the moving van._

_The scritch-scratch of a pencil began to murmur softly into the quiet._

_She would make sure the box found its way to his new proud owner._

_Was it something I said  
To make you turn away?  
To make you walk out and leave me cold  
If I could just find a way  
To make it so that you were right here  
But right now.._

He sighed.

He was never a fan of fairy tales anyway.

In all reality, Prince Charming was a frog. A toad maybe. He'd end up cheating on Belle with Snow White and maybe visiting Rapunzel a few times. While mice and the fairy god mother continued on with their silly songs of hope and love and everything else that never ended up lasting forever. Because nothing is forever.

_She`s Gone, she`s dead. You're still alive, so start acting like it._

If he read what was in that box, he would have to face her leaving, instead of just living around it. He would have to deal with it, just like everyone else. He wasn't sure if he was ready for that, or if he ever would be.

Goodbyes hurt the most when people leave without saying them. He knew he was lying through his teeth. He was in no shape or form ready to say goodbye to her. Not so soon, not after what happened last. Not like this and maybe not ever.

He guessed now would be a good time as any to finally open it. The dust layered the lid, from months of sitting under his bed. Ever since he got it from Derek at the comic shop, he threw it under, unable to throw it away and unable to open it and face what happened. He had went there of hoping of finding her. Both hers and her sister`s phone were off, no answer at the house and no one saw her at the gym. It was from Nessa, her sister not her.

There wasn't much in it, not that it would fit much. A paper folded too many times , a smooth white paper at the bottom and a thick black book. He reached for the smooth paper, already feeling what it was going to be. The drawing he had done to her. Matching to the one inked on her back.

He reached for the folded paper. His brows furrowing as he read the first few lines, wondering why April was writing about her sister`s boyfriend. It became clear that it was one of Nessa`s own diary and that April had written in the rest of the white blank elegant lines written by her left hand.

_Do you know that place between being asleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams? That's where I'll always love you. Be the best in the world, Phil._

Her diaries. The black book now looked so familiar to the one always in her backpack, always under the left side of her bed, just behind the white tennis shoes. His stomach clenched as he read the last two entries. The last page was stained with smudges. His thumb brushed the page, she had been crying.

_Dear Diary,_

_Going to say goodbye. Body heading to LA, soul stuck with a Chicago Made Punk. I am so sorry April._

_Sometimes life just seems like chapters of goodbyes._

When he regained his voice, he quietly asked, "Why didn't you say anything?"

He rubbed his thumb over the edge of the card. The second passage was written an hour before her show, an hour before he kissed her. A day before she disappeared. Before she left.

_Dear Diary,_

_I think I am in love._

_April Brooks_

* * *

_Opening her eyes she looked around the room her vision focusing from the blur of sleepiness to the white of the far wall. She closed her eyes, turning to her right side snuggling in the plush pillow and the blankets covering her. Pushed aside, the blankets uncovered her bare shoulder, her long hair was moved off the back of her neck and ever so gently a feathery touch started from the nape and traced a line down her bare back in an excruciatingly liberate motion. The sensation made her move into the sensual sensation wanting more of it._

_Warm breath danced on her neck making her shiver with pleasure and slow deliberate kisses followed the same invisible line making their way back to her neck and lips lingered below her ear tasting her skin. Fingers danced over the marked skin, tracing the design with feathery touches, her body awakening, the need building with each stroke, curve, trace of his finger._

_"Morning Beautiful"_

_With his arm he walked his hand across her abdomen to her hip and turned her towards his finger he raised her chin, her eyes found deep green eyes staring back at her the gold flecks in them shining back with yearning her brown eyes mirrored. Leaning into her, his mouth slightly parted pressing gently into hers trapping her bottom lip between his._

_The light wetness of his tongue drifted along her mouth parting the pouty lips to delicately savor them. Deepening the kiss his tongue found hers and she whimpered, she melted into him surrendering to the craving that was in every fiber of her being._

_Moving over her she felt his chest cover hers and the sensual feeling of his warm skin on hers intoxicated her, reminding her of the smooth texture of satin. His arms drifted down to entwine his fingers in hers and raised her arms above her head. Ever so carefully he trailed his fingertips on the inside of her arms down to her face once more as he cupped it; losing himself in their passionate drifted to her chin and down to the curve of her neck eliciting a gasp as her heartbeat accelerated from the desire he was bringing out of her._

_"You`re a bad boy"_

_She felt his lips curved up in a what would be beautiful smile against her neck and she smiled back basking in the sensation of simply being with him, being loved by him and knowing the dazzling smile was for her and only "But I am so good at it"_

_Her body tensed as her phone started to ring, interrupting the new lovers from continuing their party. She knew it was Nessa. She knew it was time to say goodbye. She wiggled under his body, the rubbing sensation not helping her nor him from the strangled tortured sound he emitted from the back of his throat._

_He buried his nose in the pillow, clearly frustrated and she took the opportunity to take on of his t-shirts from his open gym bag. It was big, reaching above her knee. Taking a whiff, her body raced. It smelled of pure Phil. Sweaty, musky with the hint of his soap; sandalwood. It smelt like home to her._

_"I`ll use your shower real quick" she ducked in the room, his voice carrying out, hopeful "Can I join you?"_

_"NO!"_

_She came back to him still lying on his stomach, head turned sideways as he dozed off. The bed dipped under her weight._

_"I wish I could stay" in my home, in my room, in your arms._

_"But you have to go." he whined._

_His words cut deep into her heart, breaking it into hundreds of pieces. She felt the warm sting of tears daring to fall from her eyes. No, she wouldn't cry. Not now, not like, not in front of him. She was strong._

_"I`ll miss you." He said._

_His words broke her restraints. She smiled sadly. She brushed back the messy raven locks from his eyes, as he dozed off on his belly, his face turned to her side, mumbling as she played with his hair "I`ll miss you too" he slipped around her small back, pulling her in. For their last, and brief kiss, she felt more love than she ever thought she'd feel for and from one person. If she could have any moment stand still in time, this would be that moment._

_She stood up, fingertips brushing his smiling lips. He cracked on green gem open, watching her intently "Go back to sleep" her voice hushed despite the empty apartment, she didn't want to ruin the moment. She stayed until his breath evened out and the lines smoothed as a look of peace crossed his young innocent features._

_"Goodbye Phil" She was not ready to let him go, yet she here she was kissing him goodnight and preparing to leave without a goodbye. Picking up the pillow she promised herself to take,she turned around, facing him one final time._

_The door clicked shut behind her and she leaned heavily against it, the tears flowing freely now. She turned slowly , hand gripping the one of her sister`s. She stared at the door in agony. Her tears fell faster now. Never has she ever felt so trapped. She`ll break down once once she got home. A home that didn't belong to her anymore._

_"I'm sorry," she said, and she meant it. She's not apologizing for anything she's done, only for the circumstances that have torn them apart._

_Only for the things they couldn't control._

_I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
I've drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face_

He stood infront of the warehouse door, having said his goodbyes to each person that he worked with for years. People that meant more than family to him. His eyes betrayed him, glancing across the street, to that window.

The sun was almost sitting now, bathing the building with a fiery orange hue. Hadn't it been last year, that he`d look and find her standing there, watching, observing and thinking?

Now she was gone. Had been for three months.

No reason, no number nor a forwarding address.

She vanished. Disappeared. Fell off the grid.

No matter what words he used, the end result was all the same.

She was gone.

The building was empty. The comic shop got a new girl instead. All around life went on, and for the last three months he was stuck, back in the day where she gave herself to him, where she loved him and he loved her.

He`d been burdened with her betrayal, her abandonment; trapped in the past for too long.

He was leaving Union City, New Jersey. A place that he`d never dream of having a home in, where he didn't belong. There was so much of her everywhere, and if he stayed any longer, he`ll be stuck in a limbo, never going forward nor going back. And it will never allow him to change.

He realized, time would never stop and that life was patiently waiting for him to rejoin. He was done of letting days pass him by. Those days are gone, over with.

He was moving on.

He kept his gaze forward as he speed down the road, Union City disappearing the further he got away, the warehouse vanishing from his rearview mirror. There was no goodbye.

There was one last thing to do now. Do what she told him, be whom she wanted him to be, whom she knew he could be. The Best In The World.

_But the truth remains.._

_You're gone.._

* * *

**Well, she`s gone and we all know he did went on and became the best in the world.**

**What`s in store for our star crossed lovers?**

**Will they find their way back to each other? Or will they be destined to stay apart?**

**Why did she leave?**

**Will he ever forgive her?**

**Where is April now?**

**So many questions and no answer in sight.**

**I am NOT quitting the story as I said I would. It`s a kinda of motivation to keep my head above water with all the shit going on in my life.**

**Happy New Year.**


	13. Chapter 13

**This will be a snippets into what happened through the years they were separated.**

**Kelso. You made believe that I am doing something right and I can`t thank you enough for going this over with me. xoxo**

**Thanks Raiden519 for his wonderful suggestion on using the MITB 2011 moment. He`s full of awesome brilliant ideas. Thanks a bunch :D**

**Read to the end. You`ll miss out if you don`t.**

* * *

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let `em out_

**Dec, 31st 2005**

**New Jersey**

The wind picked up with a sudden burst of cold forcing a shiver from her as she pulled her wool jacket tighter. Winter was rolling into full swing in Union City, painting the broad-leaf baring trees with streaks of reds, purples and crimson and fluffy cotton white. The common yellows and gold stuck out in stark contrast within their color family as she buttoned the front of her coat and redirected her hands to lined pockets.

She tilted her head back, welcoming the breeze that lifted the few hairs that had escaped the elastic band that loosely held up the mahogany locks. Leaves twisted around her in a widening pattern and the cold brought forth a flush to her cheeks as she smiled into the change of seasons.

The wind pressed along her form, curved over her exposed skin, raising goosebumps in its wake. She ignored the cold, ignored the ghosts that echoed her steps wherever they fell. Sniffing she pushed her hands further into her pockets and ducked her head against the sudden bite of the wind. Slanted bangs shifted forward, protecting her forehead and she ducked her chin, hunched her shoulders around the thought of just letting it all go and leaving this place behind—if even for a little while and go back to the place they called home for the past six months.

She stopped, eyes taking in the scene.

The building where she used to live.

The sidewalk where she used to do her homework.

The large Oak tree next to the building.

It was all the same as she had left it yet it wasn't.

The building was renewed. New doors, windows and probably new people.

The sidewalk was painted in yellow and black unlike the ugly shade of grey it was.

The Oak tree was trimmed, unlike the wild mess of branches it used to have, a circle of colorful roses was around it. It looked they were planted for a while now.

Her home didn't feel like home anymore. But it never did, not after she found home elsewhere. Not in a fancy penthouse, nor in an expensive hotel, but in the arms of Phil.

_Oh Phil._

She felt the familiar pang of pain in her heart, a sensation she now associated whenever the name came up which was every day for the past six months. From the moment she stepped foot in his apartment, to when he touched her so softly and gently fearing she`d break, to when he showed her how much he wanted and adored her as they shared each other over and over again until morning, kissing him goodbye, leaving, settling in their new house.

She crossed the street, walking the familiar steps until she reached the old rusty door.

_I guess some things do stay the same._

But again maybe she spoke too soon. The black and red poster with ROH on it was torn off, bits of the paper still stuck on the door, a loose chain closing the door hung and she fingered it in disbelief.

They were gone.

DeDe.

Joe.

Scott.

And Phil.

The thought reeled her back physically, almost stumbling and falling on her backside.

Phil was gone.

She squeezed herself through the door, hurrying inside to deny what she knew deep down. The warehouse was empty, in the same state it was when she first stumbled into it all those months back. No machines, no rings, no snack vending machines, no half-naked men, no wretch smell of sweat and smokes, no chatter, no music.

Nothing.

They were all gone.

She didn't know where to look or if she should at all.

Why would he wait around for her, when she gave him no reason.

He wouldn't and she wouldn't; had the roles been reversed and she was the one left alone with no answers, no closure and no goodbye.

She knew she should have left a note, a phone number, anything. It would have been better than vanishing into thin air after the amazing night they shared. After the amazing days and months they shared.

Her hand flattened on the steel door, as if she could sense something. Like the door could tell her where they went or what happened while she was gone. The same door she pushed open to practice here, the same door he opened to look at his new work place. The same door she leaned against after she met him all those many months ago. The same door she sneaked out from and he followed her home, playing her hero only to be kicked and sprayed. The same door he walked out from every time as she watched from her window.

"This is where we met Phil"

_This is where we say goodbye._

She didn't dare say the last words out loud. She couldn't say goodbye to him yet.

Maybe not ever.

No one ever got over their first love.

And Phillip Jack Brooks, a Chicago born punk. A hardass and sharp-tongued.

With his stupid eyes, stupid tattoos, stupid hair and stupid shoulders. He was her first everything.

And she knew that no one will ever come close to taking his place.

* * *

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though  
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay  
But that's not what gets me_

**August, 2nd 2008**

**Union City, New Jersey**

"I love this song" A slim finger pressed the button, raising the volume. And he cringed, looking like he just ate a sour lemon with a dash of salt. Country music was absolutely not his favorite. They had the sad tune to it that is bound to make you feel like shit.

He didn't need a song to make him feel like shit.

He has himself for that and has been feeling like shit, like a fuck up for years now.

_Remember when I was young and so were you_  
_and time stood still and love was all we knew_  
_You were the first, so was I_  
_We made love and then you cried_  
_Remember when_

His stomach rolled, tensed and squeezed so painfully as he struggled not to hunch over as he drove the car in the familiar streets of Union City New Jersey. Blind, he could tell you where was the newsstand how close was it to the ugly red mail box. How many tables were set outside the small coffee place . How many trees were planted until you reached the building where he spent a year training, across the street from...

He should have known that all things no matter how they went, they`ll always run in endless making sense circles and lead back to her. More so with the fact that he was right back where it all began.

How many times had he wished that he didn't come here? or stayed in Japan?

Maybe he would have missed out on the chance on knowing her but it would have spared him so many restless sleepless night, walking up in cold sweat because of a nightmare. The empty void he walked around low in his stomach that felt bottomless no matter how much he ate or drank. He knew she held the missing piece, ripped it out as she left. He had to wonder, torture himself with all those what ifs and what could`ve, should`ve , would`ve.

Did she walk around missing a piece of her own existence as well? or had he been right all along that she got ice water running through her veins.

Has she spared him a thought? wondered about him at all? Because she certainly hadn't spared his feeling no matter what they were at that time. He didn`t even know what had he felt back then.

Did he like her? Sure, when she wasn't a pain in the ass on purpose.

Did he want her? A moot point, she was attractive and had her own allure about her young beauty. Had proved several times during that night how much she affected him, how much he desired her.

Was she special? She wasn't his first love/crush/obsession. Classifications were overrated. She was the first to get past his steel defenses with no charm or flash of skin. She did it with a dry cynical humor almost equal to his own. She took no prisoners when she tore him a new one when he was an ass or a jerk, which was all the time. He had told her it was admirable how she gave it as good as she got.

_And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged_  
_We came together, fell apart_  
_And broke each other's hearts_  
_Remember when_

His nightmares were all centered about one thing. The night she came to his sorry excuse for an apartment he shared with Scott. Where she forced him to act on his attraction to her. She took him by the balls and forced his hand. She had been a trembling quivering mess as she guided his hand over her untouched skin. She trusted him and let go to him, allowing them to enjoy the thing that connected a hardass wrestler with a delicate mouthy ballerina.

A little suspicious voice that he longed to squash, the voice of Phil the man, that tried to reason with Punk the survivor, told him over and over again as he ripped on April and what she had done that she wouldn't have played him. She could have left without anything happening. But she came, demanded he man up and gave herself to him over and over and over.

He knew if she didn't care she wouldn't have entrusted him with her innocence.

_Studying her face carefully, noting her serious expression, he asked one last time. "You're sure about this? About me?"_

_She nodded, something indefinable shining in her eyes. "There's no one I trust more."_

_His heart squeezed painfully in his chest. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down his racing heart. "Okay then."_

_He brushed his fingertips over her lips gently, eliciting a shiver from her and a sexy grin from him. "Smile doll face. This is supposed to be fun. To feel good." Her lips quirked a bit under his fingers. For once, the nickname didn't sound so bad leaving his lips, was almost an endearment in fact._

_"We've got all the time in the world."_

They didn't have all the time. All they had left was that night. Hours, minutes and seconds that ticked in countdown so fate could rip them apart.

A fate by the name of April.

He looked at Maria, her head leaned on the window, the sun shining on her flowing red hair and it looked like a fiery halo surrounding her head. She was stunning, carefree and loved him. She was the first he allowed himself to be normal and his old self to shine again. It seemed they were inseparable, joined by the hip.

Yup, Maria would do him good. Help him forget the girl who wounded his psych.

She would distract him and help him move on from the girl who used to watch him through that window.

* * *

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

**Dec, 24th 2009**

_Dear Diary,_

_Tis the season and what fucking not. As you can tell I am not in a jolly good mood. Hadn't been for a long time now. Been a long time since I wrote in a diary too, almost three and a half years._

_Not since we left home._

_Not since I left Liam back in NJ, in the same fashion and style my baby sister was forced to… god my baby sister… the brat I ignored at school because she wasn't cool or popular enough to hang out with the 'It girls'… same one that bought me my prom shoes and helped mum finish my dress… same one who covered for me as I spent the night at Liam`s… same one who choked on her own tears as she helped me.. the same one that held me during Liam`s funeral._

_Yeah Liam died... they didn't tell me much other than he had died a hero fighting the war… He`s been gone three and a half years now… same day I stopped writing._

_Chris barely makes it home these days. Always at a mission or training camp and mum is withering each day. She`s forty now but looks well into her sixties.. Dark circles and paling skin unlike the golden one she used to have._

_Dad is … I mean my father... that`s what the old bastard was just a sperm donor… mum and Chris were the one to raise us… he fathered me and my siblings but if anyone was a dad it was Chris, bless his soul. It was his entire fault what happened, how we came to be this miserable dysfunctional broken family. A pitiful ghost of what we used to be. He`s barely home, staggering drunk if he manages to find his way, mum spends her days knitting and sewing so many clothes that no one will get to wear. April thankfully is spared all of this as she continues her studies at Julliard so proud of her she got a full scholarship and god knows she deserves a break after the bullshit she`s been through enough… I can still remember her coming back from NJ, face ashen white and looked ready to crumble into a million shattered pieces if a wrong breeze blew… and that fuck up of a father had the nerve to demand why she hasn't been home for two days while he was out for a week without a peep or a word from him. The things he said… the awful horrible atrocious accusation he threw their way. Hers and Punk… he didn't even know him or even met him. But mum looked guilty enough and we knew she told him all about what happened. Funny about mothers they got this sixth sense or maybe just reading our diaries as they do the laundry. Mum didn't know him either, all she saw was the cute stray puppy April brought home and the one that came to that Christmas dinner. She didn't even know he was there to help her daughter finish her piece. I would bet my high heels that she said some stuff to him, ribbed on him and dropped hints to stay away from her innocent little girl._

_I remember the hushed silence that descended upon the house, and even he looked disgusted with himself... mum was covering her mouth, eyes showing some kind of life as she glared accusation and threw them like daggers at him. We all knew no matter how mum pushed April and nagged her about things, she loved her a bit much than us and we`re OK with that she`s the baby after all… but my baby sister, who looked so old and lifeless.. just stood there…face paralyzed in an expression of agony and it tore me to pieces as I rushed to her side, it took me a while to hear her, but her voice was broken as over and over again she whispered the anguished word 'It`s not true' I knew what she had meant by them and they weren't true, no matter what the jackass of a man my father was . She was small but as she lunged for him, twisting and screaming I found it hard to restrain her 'You did this. You made us leave. You hate me … say it... you made us leave... 'She kept repeating as finally her sobs took her captive, sinking to the floor as I followed._

_As for Punk, she told me how she found him and all of them gone. And it wasn't until a few months later that we saw him at a developmental program, we couldn't be happier for him, he was living the start of his dreams and I went to a show hoping to catch him and tell him all of the things that happened and why we had left. Maybe get him to come with me and bring me back my sister... I got there and I saw him._

_He was heavier than the leaner Punk we used to know, more cynical and dark as he cut promos and build hype and heat around him. And he stepped out of the building and I walked until I stopped when a beautiful redhead slinked her arm through his and give him on helluva a kiss._

_I left that day and I never spoke of Punk again._

_But his name didn't have to be spoken. I knew she thought of him every single day. Eyes filling with tears as she spied the inked design on her back and mourned her loss. She wasn't poor on company of young men closer to her age than the old tattooed Chicagoan Punk, but none had a chance. The shoe simply not only too big to fill but didn't and refused to be filled._

_So three eventful years huh? Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and walk up back into my old bed where April would try to sneak beside me as thunder rocked the house, where the house smelled of cake batter rather than smokes and alcohol, where classic music clashed with the latest pop music blasting the house instead of the loud scream of endless drunken fights._

_We didn't lose just a home. We didn't lose only friends. My mum didn't just lose her spark of life. My father didn't lose just his jobs and dignity. Chris didn't lose his sisters and parents. I didn't only lose Liam and April didn't only lose Punk._

_We lost each other that hot June day. And nothing could bring it back._

_April now lives in a small apartment near her school, rarely visiting us unless he wasn't at home. That`s why I hate the holidays. It used to be a time for the family to come together but how can you celebrate it when you no longer have a family._

_Merry Fucking Christmas,_

_Nessa._

* * *

_Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken_

**Oct, 26th 2010**

The door at his back opened, filling the porch with muted light that fought against the dark and lost as the door slammed closed. Heavy footfalls strolled toward him and the sound of leather stretching as arms encircled his waist brought a soft smile to his lips. He relaxed into her strength and welcomed the warmth of a human embrace on a cold night. For a moment the ghosts vanished and the darkness receded as she let her head rest on his back, dropping a kiss near his ear.

The arms around his waist tightened as he turned, bent to brush a kiss and the harsh edge of an unshaved cheek across her temple. She inhaled the faint scent of suntan lotion and a line appeared between her brows, the center of her chest suddenly falling open as she remembered that was the scent of the car wax he used. The same scent that signaled an end to their time together. The time that was a mockery of normalcy and a real life, a life outside of the wrestling and violence.

"I`ll miss you" She wasn't the overly emotional clingy girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend, she corrected herself.

"I`m not dying Ames. You`re still my best friend you know that. We just realized that have better chances at staying alive friends than staying together and killing each other"

She pushed back the sudden cold filling her chest and turned in his arms, watched as he saw the understanding fill her gaze. The smile melting away, until only sadness so deep it looked infinite filled her hazel eyes, darkened them.

"I know that. Doesn't mean I have to like it" she crossed her arms under her chest, acting like a sullen child.

He tried to emit an honest heartfelt laugh, but it was hard. The sound felt stuck in his throat and his vocal chords refused to work with him.

He tucked a wild fiery red strand behind her ear, taking in her lovely features. She was beautiful, no doubt about it. She was fun, snarky, little cocky and knew her tattoos. She was every guy`s dream.

Everyone but him apparently.

It wasn't a problem with physical compatibility. The sex was pretty amazing. Nor the emotional connection, she warmed her way and took her own spot in his heart. Enjoyed hours of just sitting around doing nothing but talk about everything and nothing.

But just like with Maria and now her, a dark cloud loomed over his head. His own personal ghost riding along with him.

April.

Even now, five years later since he last saw her or heard anything about her, she haunted him.

Granted it was less now as time passed and he got more involved in his career but those rare occasions, she would creep up on him, torture him with vengeance.

Questions of why she left, of why she led him to believe she cared before disappearing.

Questions of where was she now after all that time?

Did she miss him at all? Ever?

He finally smiled at her. "Well, as you're seeing me, I'm good."

"Does Scott agree?" She thought he looked pale, and the shadows under his eyes were a bit darker than usual. He hadn't been sleeping well; she would be willing to bet on that.

"He does."

"Well, I guess I'll have to take your word for it."

"I'm glad you didn't have to worry." He let his fingers wrap around hers and pulled her into his chest. His chin rested securely on the top of her head. She let him embrace her before she pulled back.

"Tell your Chez I said hello – that is if she won't reprimand you for talking to me."

"I'll test the waters before I mention your name." He looked down and realized that her hand was still clutching his. "You gonna let me have this back or are you planning to take it with you," he asked, motioning down where her hand was still entwined in his.

When she raised her eyes to his, they glistened with moisture. She quickly pressed on the inside corners by the nasal bridge to stop the flow. She sniffed, grasping for composure.

He knew what she`d seen in his eyes. What was always in his eyes. All those days with him she choose to ignore it. But not today, not with how honest they`ve been with each other

"I'm sorry."

"Don't." It was the only word she could make come out.

He didn't stop. "It's just that," he paused, "I don't know how to explain it to you."

She closed her eyes briefly, pursing her lips. "Phil, you don't have to," she started. "It's real. All the time, every day." She blurted, her eyes staring right into his. Then, dropping her gaze, she continued. "I finally realized that's what you needed, and with us, it couldn't ever really happen." He opened his mouth and she shook her head. She started again. "I couldn't ask you to do something I knew you couldn't do. You are who you are, and that can be…"

"Anyone," he interrupted.

"I was going to go with annoying, but yeah, that too." She smiled. "I loved those days, Phil. It was so exciting to pretend, but it is over now, and we have real life to go back to. I am not the whomever it is in your eyes. Whomever is you touch, breath and have this beat for" She put a hand over his heart "You have a large shoe sweetie. One that can only be filled by only one person. The one that lives inside. The one you are trying to bury inside"

She swept her fingers lightly across the line of his jaw. "You don't have to pretend with me. And I don`t have to pretend with you. I am getting a bit wee old to compete with a ghost from your distant past and you need to either find her or let her go to be truly happy"

He nodded. "I understand that but I never expected to be like it was at the end."

"What, when you weren't the one leaving? When it wasn't on your terms?"

"Yeah." He paused. "It's hard."

She grinned a little. "I can't say it wasn't nice to give you a little of your own medicine."

* * *

_What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And havin' so much to say  
And watchin' you walk away_

**July, 17th 2011**

**Allstate Arena**

**Chicago, Illinois**

**Money In The Bank Main Event**

**John Cena VS CM Punk for the WWE Championship**

She stood on her chair, cursing her height. At times like these she hated being so god damn short.

She looked at the big screen showing what`s going on in the ring. The WWE Champ John Cena, hitting another Joh..Big Johnny...whatever...he wanted no interference from anyone.

The crowd was all behind their boy. Even threats of rioting were chanted if he loses today. The arena was packed and even if he`s a heel right now, there wasn't a single soul sitting as the ref counted th on John.

Phil Brooks was the new WWE Champion.

She knew she must look like a proud mother, tears shining bright in her eyes as she smiled, her first real smile in years.

She remember their quite talk of how he wanted to be somebody, to matter. And she told him to go on and be 'The Best In The World'.

She took one last look as he held the title close to his chest, disbelief itched on his face. She made her way out of the arena, walking down a long series of corridors before she stepped outside, moving to where her sister stood waiting.

Hearing a commission behind her, she turned. People where screaming, excited and the chant finally reached her 'CM Punk'

It all happened in mere seconds yet it felt longer as everything slow motioned and she felt stuck in place rather than running to hide.

She felt the force hit her sideways as both tried to pass the throng of people.

Strong sweaty hands wrapped around her shoulders, preventing her from falling.

"I am so sor.. do I know you?"

Those brown eyes. Where had he seen them? He knew the answer but his jumbled mind wouldn't let him focus.

_He doesn't know me._

The hands let her go as he walked backwards, eyes focusing on her and the security guards walking to him.

She had to face the bitter truth.

Phil had forgotten April

* * *

_And never knowin'_  
_What could've been_  
_And not seein' that lovin' you_  
_Is what I was tryin' to do, oh_  
_Oh yeah_

**Dec, 11 2011**

**Tribute To The Troops**

"Mendez?"

"Yes , sir. Chris Mendez"

"From Union Jersey?"

"One and only sir. You been there?"

"Ahh not personally. I hear it`s a great town"

He lowered his hat, scratching at his buzz shaved head. And he had to stifle his gasp.

He had her eyes.

Same color, shape and spark.

"The best. Wish I still lived there. Family moved a couple of years back. Still miss it"

This was his chance to know. His chance to find her. To answer all those screaming questions that still echoed to this day.

A chance to see her.

To kiss her.

To hurt her.

To hold her.

To make her feel his pain.

To have a chance to tell her, something he`s been dying to spit out as it choked him every single day. So all he had to do was ask him her "Have a good day and enjoy the show"

He wasn't ready to face her yet.

Maybe not ever.

Maybe it was for the best that she left.

* * *

**March, 19th 2012**

The girly laughter filled the hallway as the two sisters made their way to the small apartment. Shopping bag dragged them both down as they went on their yearly now afforded shopping spree.

"I can`t believe you asked that guy 'Does it make my ass smaller?' as if he needed any more reason to gawk and drool" She fumbled to get the keys out of her pockets, the numerous bags hindering her movements.

"Stop being such a prude. Live a little" she knew she hit an open still raw nerve with the proverbial nail as a wall of silence was thrusted in her face.

"Baby, it`s been what six years…"

"Six and three months and two days…" came the mumbled response.

"Exactly. I am not telling you to forget him or get married. You`re burying yourself alive and I hate it. You`re not living, you`re just existing only because your time isn't up. You`re withering away and I`ll be damned if I lost you too." She felt her throat close up but she refused to let her voice flatter

"You`re all I`ve got now. You can`t leave me too"

The old wounds of losing Liam too soon were still open and bleeding no matter how strong front after strong front she put up for everyone to see. She had to be strong for her mother, for Chris and April. They all depended on her. She was the always the tough one, and for them she`ll have to pretend even if she longed to break down.

"OK."

"OK"

The agreement was made. Even if she didn't forget what had happened, she was willing to coexist with it, accept it and heal from it. Maybe one day she`ll get around on doing it too.

Pushing the door open, she hung in the back, taking the bags from April`s slackened hands.

"Surprise kiddo"

There he stood. 6 ft 3 200lbs in his glorified uniform.

"Chris" her voice held the awe she saved for her big brother. A larger than life hero.

He tried to keep himself rooted to his spot as a shot flied his way and knocked into him. Small arms wrapped around his neck, nose pressing into his neck and he heard her inhale loudly, trying to assure herself that he was here and he was real.

He twirled her around, laughter filling the apartment. He set her on her feet, squeezing her close again "I wanna say you've gotten big, but that would be a lie, wont it?" he ducked, laughing as she tried to thwack him with her purse. She stopped, as a body she wasn't aware of stopped her from hitting her mark as Cowered Chris hid behind her.

She felt it. The beginning of a smile tug at the corner of her lips involuntarily as she extended her hand in greeting.

"This is Celeste"

* * *

_Not seein' that lovin' you  
That's what I was trying to do,_

**Dec, 31st 2012**

**New Year`s Eve**

**10**

If being in love made people more lonely why would everyone want it? Here he was surrounded by more people than he could see. Dancing, partying, laughing and having the time of his life. Then why he felt he was stuck in a room all alone. He stepped outside on a small balcony, he inhaled loudly, getting a fresh gulp of air in his suddenly burning lungs.

**9**

You fall in love. It`s fun, exciting something new and intoxicating. It gives you the illusion that you found your soul mate. That on a subconscious level your souls merged to form one being and you think you`ll never be lonely again. She watched her brother and Kaitlyn, who told her despised the name Celeste, dance and twirl around to an old Jazz song.

**8**

Only love doesn't last. Not really. You get so close to it that you makes you think 'this is it' This is the one' but you end up being brutally disappointed and more alone than ever. Because the illusion of love, same one you held on into for years is shattered into a million pieces.

**7**

He pulled the folded paper from his jeans. He unfolded it, smiling at her old child like drawing and scribbling notes, next to the one he had done for her. Same one she had on her back.

Did she get her tattoo removed?

**6**

6 years away from him.

**5**

5 girls he`s been with after her.

**4**

4 outfit changed as she prepared to go to his first WWE title match. Same number of outfit she changed when she went to him all those years ago. She knew it then as he slid the dress off and she knew it now.

**3**

3 counts from the referee and he was the new WWE Champion. A title he held for 407 days. A whole calendar year and then some. He did it. He fulfilled his promise to her.

He became The Best In The World.

It was time.

**2**

"I love you Phil" she closed her eyes as tears trickled down her cheeks.

**1**

"Goodbye April" he wiped at the corner of his eyes, not allowing the single droplet to even leave his eyes. He was done pinning for her. He was done torturing himself of images of her dancing, laughing and living while he wallowed in self misery.

He closed the door on her as the paper from all those years back made its way to the fire. The edges crumbling and before long there was nothing left of it but black burnt ash.

Just like her memory is burnt from his mind.

She was truly gone now.

* * *

**Well Happy New Year`s everyone.**

**Not so happy? *wipe your tears***

**Hope 2013 is filled with happiness, joy and great memories for all of ya.**

**Boys and girls, there is a new forum on Delphi, Kudos to Red Foxy, talk about our love for Punk, fanfiction and just a place for us to have fun.**

**If you are interested, it`ll be on my profile. If you`re having problems finding it send me PM with your email and I`ll send an invitation.**

**#CMPunkLockerRoom**

**#PunkersUnited**


	14. Chapter 14

**Kelzo** was behind the idea of the reunion. That chick is way too awesome.

* * *

_Summer after high school when we first met_  
_We make-out in your Mustang to Radiohead_  
_And on my 18th Birthday_  
_We got matching tattoos_

**Amazing Arizona Comic Con**

**January 2013**

"So what have you been up to?" he leaned back, pushing the glasses up his nose.

"Dancing, comics, more dancing"

"Same ol`, same ol`. Still the same April"

"More or less" she pushed a strand of hair back, tucking it behind her ear as she gazed on Derek. Her one and only friend since third grade and her side kick at the comic shop they used to work at. It`s been seven years and a half since she last seen the scrawny little kid, who used to rock avengers t-shirts and hide his porn in the same x-men comic. Time has been kind on him, retaining all of his young boyish features.

"What about you?" he picked a glossed comic of 'Babes and Beasts' inspecting it before returning "Traveled after high school. Worked odd jobs to make ends meet. Now I am interning at NJ Comic World" He did a bouncing fist pump, calming down after the curious looks he was getting.

"How did you find me?"

"I was in NJ for the New Year, saw some people and ran into your mum at the coffee shop. She was very eager to give me your number when I asked"

"And I was plenty of surprised to hear from you after what? seven years? Enough about me. What`s up with you Miss hot-shot dancer?" he draped a hand around her shoulders, tugging her to him to avoid losing her in the swarm of costumed people.

His voice held a proud tune to it as he took side glances at her. For someone so well-known within the circles in which she hangs. For two poor kids from the 'bad parts' of Union City, they turned out pretty OK.

"The show in Philadelphia is closed now. Not booked in any shows for another month or so. Picking up the pre college division for a while. Less load and enough time to see Nessa and mum"

"How is your mum? I haven`t seen her since you guys lef" he cut off his sentence, seeing the change in her almost immediately. The spark dimmed and her smile flattered, failing to fake one. He directed them to a less crowded area. Their upcoming conversation has been long overdue anyways.

"Why did you leave April?"

Have you ever felt like that guy who painted the deck of his boat and was stuck in a small corner, at the far end, surrounded with wet paint? Yeah that`s sucks majorly. She felt exactly like that stupid man, cornered with no escape in sight.

_Yeah. Why did you leave April?_

Overwhelmed, she had to close her eyes. His gruff voice unmistakable even after all those years. Even as she heard him every Monday on TV or caught a radio show he was on. His voice was an octave lower than that on TV. Filled with emotions he was feeling, not calm, cool and collected as he appeared to be.

Her eyelashes fluttered against her rosy cheeks, and he watched as she opened her now glassy eyes to meet his. Even behind her glasses, her pain shone through and whatever made them move away in a night was something big and it affected her in a life-alternating way.

"That wrestler dude came looking for you. Not the chubby one. The blonde and black dude. Tore a storm asking about you." She didn't need to know how fucked up that day was. Getting the box from Nessa, promising to give it to Punk, to how he had come. Clothes rumbled and features raging as his questions on her whereabouts were unanswered. How he almost choked when he grabbed him by his collar, yanking him closer, almost making him pee himself as he gave him the damn shoe box. She didn't need to know so he wasn't gonna tell.

"His friends came too, asking me if I was hiding you or something. If I didn't know better, I`d say you owned them money and bailed"

Joe and Scott. Those were the only two people she knew on a more personal level, becoming like big brothers to her.

Scott.

Another missed opportunity at having his constant support, his jokes and the fact that he knew she was in love with his best friend. How she wanted to seek him out, sit around and just talk. Nothing much, just quiet small insignificant words put together to ease away the still bleeding wounds.

How she wished her leaving left a scar on her body, instead of bleeding and draining her soul. There was something inherently beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means that the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed. Done with, unless that scar runs deeper than the eye.

Suddenly Derek`s question and HIS question was all she could think about.

_Why did I leave?_

* * *

_Grabbed a bunch of blankets_  
_And climb to the roof_  
_Talk about our future_  
_Like we had a clue_  
_Never planned that one day_  
_I'd be losing you_

Finished with the signing and taking pictures, he set to explore the place. He was first and foremost a comic nerd and this place was his heaven. An added plus were all the costumes walking around. Being nerdy, famous and rich was a dream come true, a testament were all the comics he called first dibs on. Sue him for being a fan.

Almost like any other Con, he always would stalk the Batman section, resisting the urge to drool over any new little thing. After getting his fix, he`d walk around aimlessly, taking it all in. His final stop.

The Walking Dead section.

He tried to appear casual as he cut through the throngs of people to get to his prize. He had all the of their issues. In a top-notch condition, despite the numerous reads. He all had but one.

The first issue.

His eagerness was diminished as he remembered what happened to that particular issue.

It was set afire at the New Year`s Eve by himself.

As he foolishly tried to burn the memory of HER, he burnt all things associated with her. The tattoo design, the letter, the pink fluffy magic wand he kept, and lastly the comic book she gave him when they first met. After throwing the paper it was hard to stop and let well alone. Thing after thing he thrown, fooling himself into a state where he honestly believe by turning her things to ash, her memories, his memories, and THEIR memories would be set ablaze, dying in a dancing fire, much like she danced through his veins for years.

He knew his chances of forgetting was slim to actually none. Zero. Nadda. Zelch.

Not when there was so much he wanted to know. To tell her. To make her feel.

That was what kept him up at night.

Making her feel exactly like he did.

Every single bit of feeling.

Every drop of misery.

Every tortured dream of their time.

He wanted to make her feel like he did, when she came to him that fateful night.

Loved.

Safe.

Warm.

Show her how much he wanted that night to last over and over.

Then rip her heart out like she did his.

Show her what it felt like walking on tiptoes, never truly letting go, never truly trusting afraid of it being yanked down from under your feet.

He wanted all of that. And with his New Year`s resolution nowhere near happening, that was what he was set to do.

As soon as he finds her.

While fruitless years of searching; no ballerina or dancer under the name of April, a missed chance of asking her brother for a way to contact her, he knew he was bound to stumble on to her one day or another. If it took years, he`d show her.

He knew the possibilities of running into her before were likely to have happened. After all, he didn't know what she would look like. He knew seven years couldn't change a person that drastically, but different million possibilities filled his mind.

She could have had surgery to alter her look. She could have gotten into an accident and now was unrecognizable. He felt his gut clench as the thought of her hurt made him queasy.

No. He`d know her. Just like he knew it was her as he walked her home the first time.

Just like he knew it was her as she stood behind the curtains watching him.

Just like he would know her once his eyes caught sight of her brown ones.

He stood in front of the large rectangle table, eyes searching looking for that specific issue.

But sometimes we search away when the things we want, need are right under our noses.

There.

It was in front of him the whole time. He made to snatch what was looking to be the last piece, his hand accidentally wrapped around another smaller one, also going for the same comic.

He would like to say he reeled back to give her space and take that damn comic away, not because of the jolt that coursed though from the tips of his fingers to slam full force into his heart.

She was just as shocked as he was, if her expression was anything to go by. Her mouth was shaped in little 'O' pouty glossed lips, ones he had an inkling he kissed like them before, somewhere sometime ago.

But her eyes screamed attention. Big doe brown eyes.

He knew those eyes.

He fucking knew those fucking brown eyes.

Hadn't they haunted his dreams for years?

Hadn't he wondered when will he meet the one with brown eyes?

Standing before him was the girl he bumped into at his Money In The Bank match, where he walked out from the WWE, through the crowd and into the corridors of the building, barely catching her from falling.

It had to be her.

Only way to find out was to ask her.

* * *

_In another life_  
_I would be your girl_  
_We keep all our promises_  
_Be us against the world_

If she thought she was cornered before, she was proven wrong now.

Less than a step away, all 220 lbs, stood Phil.

All coherent thinking was impossible to do at those frozen moments.

She could reach out and touch him. Run her hands over him, committing him to her memory. Not that she forgotten how he feels, tastes, and smells like. Soft, salty and home.

How she longed to be home.

The ever-present Cubs hat, a blue hoodie and jeans, he was a sight for sour eyes. TV screens didn't do him justice in capturing him.

The forest green eyes, the enticing.. yes enticing little wrinkles around his eyes that crinkled when he laughed. The little metal ring that pierced his lower lip, gleaming and adding to the bad guy persona he was. The vibrant tattoos that were visible. Just everything about him.

He felt larger than life to be captured on a square frame.

He was egotistical but he knew he was well-known on some level and for her to be at a WWE event, she had to know who he is.

He hadn't forgotten that night for many obvious reasons. Winning his first WWE title, to leaving with such buzz through the crowd to bumping into the girl standing in front of him, one that was hauntingly familiar to someone he knew very well, yet his mind was struggling to connect the dots and make the connection he felt he should know.

He watched as she took a step back, putting more distance between them. He took a step forward and she matched him one back, another and another one, until she turned and pushed her way through the people.

She pushed with all of her strength trying to get to the nearest exit or place where she could crawl in a hole, cry her heart out and then die. His eyes seemed to know her, the spark of recognition was there yet they didn't It didn't make sense unless he was remembering her as the girl from his match not the girl from his distant past.

Granted she grew up, filled her figure, the last of her baby fat disappearing as she bloomed into womanhood but she was still the same. Same coloring, hair, eyes, lips, nose, ears, soul and heart. She was the same and he didn't fucking remember her.

It wasn't a tactic to get back at her. She knew and from what she heard, he`d been royally pissed at her stunt, and he was known to release hidden anger suddenly and with great intensity. That man looked at her with ease and carefree she longed for Phil to look at April. Not for CM Punk to look at a girl he bumped into over a year ago.

With those overwhelming thoughts, she pushed trying to run.

But later she would know. Fate only allow one chance to make a clean-cut run before dragging you back kicking and screaming.

* * *

_In another life_  
_I would make you stay_  
_So I don't have to say_  
_You were the one that got away_  
_The one that got away_

He went to follow, out of curiosity if nothing else. See why she ran, freaked too.

Frowning he looked down, almost squinting to see a barely 4 ft something girl. She wore a pink tutu with a pink shirt. A fake sparkly tiara adorned her brown hair. Puppy eyes stared up at him in adoration and a hint of fear, due to how freakishly tall he was. She clutched a picture of him close to her chest, offering it to him once he motioned for her to give him to sign her the picture, hopefully catch up with that girl.

He knelt to her level, noticing the spark in her brown eyes. She looked so much like little April in that old photo back in NJ. Shaking his head of thoughts of her, he focused on the girl, who couldn't be more than 8, possibly 9.

"Well aren't you the cutest little thing. What`s your name doll?" he scribbled his signature, waiting for her to answer, to write her name.

"Jana" the sweet shy voice tugged at his heartstrings.

"Well Jana. What are you gonna be when you grow up?"

"A ballerina"

Another ballerina.

He couldn't escape her.

"Got a favorite?" all he knew about ballet was from HER.

"Jean Lee"

"Who is that? She any good?" he didn't know why he kept this conversation with the youngster going, instead of looking to find that girl.

What was it with him and girls that run away? Was it a fetish or something?

"She`s the best. She signed me this earlier" she took a glossed magazine from her mother, showing him the two page article on her favorite dancer.

Even blind, he`d know it. There was no mistaking it. There was no second guessing.

The same girl from earlier was the ballerina dancer Jana was fond of. Her name signed on one corner. The opposite page was an article about her. Some Q&A and facts about her.

He felt his breathing stop, heart drumming against his ribs so hard, he feared them breaking. There nestled at the bottom of the page, near the end of the article. A square photo of a bare back.

One that had a tattoo identical to the one he burned in the fire. Identical to the one he stole from her room.

Identical to the one he had for her 18th birthday.

The unique design screamed one thing.

This was April.

Jean Lee was April.

The same one he saw at his title match.

The same one who was standing opposite from him less than a minute ago.

The one that was getting away again.

* * *

_All this money can't buy me a time machine _  
_Can't replace you with a million rings _  
_I shoulda told you what you meant to me _  
_Cause now I pay the price_

There she was.

The one that got away all those years.

The one trying to get away now.

"April!"

She stood, paralyzed as his gruff thick voice built an invisible steel wall, preventing her from moving further ahead, further away.

The sun shone on her hair, it had to be a trick of light he thought, as an almost like halo surrounded her. It was gone in an instant as the cold January afternoon darkened with overhead clouds. As if the sensed the change, preparing for the storm above as the two prepared for the storm on solid ground.

A nippy breeze passed her, shifting the small hairs that escaped her loose ponytail as she turned to look. It felt like they were stuck in slow motion as she turned to face him. He saw her now.

The same girl who danced to classical music as he wrestled with Punk/Rock music blasting away. The same one in the sinful Poison Ivy costume. The same one he held on stage. The same one that laid beneath him as he took her offering on his bed. The same one that left him seven years ago.

The pressure on her chest felt horrible, feeling suffocated underwater, lungs burning and her eyes stinging.

She fought to keep from falling hard on her knees.

"Phil?"

* * *

**The One That Got Away- Katy Perry (Cover by Tiffany Alvord & Cherster See)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks everyone for your support of this story.**

**The only decent thing in this is the song which was Kelzo`s idea. This girl saves my ass with every update and you`ll do well to thank her :)**

**Snuff by Slipknot.**

* * *

_Bury all your secrets in my skin  
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins  
The air around me still feels like a cage  
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again_

_"Phil"_

The name still sounded the same, as if he heard it mere seconds ago rather than many years ago. It trembled past her lips, soft and melodic until it reached his ears, penetrated his mind and wrapped a vice grip around his rapidly beating heart. It squeezed painfully and without mercy.

He felt something heavy settle over his shoulders. He thought all those years that after seeing her after not knowing if she was alive or dead would have lifted some of the weight he carried around with him. That he`d feel better. Lighter. Happy in some form or another.

That he`d breathe easier.

He didn't.

Load felt heavier now. He was certainly not happy and it was granted that he was not breathing easier.

He tried to take all of her at once. Hair, face, body and heart. The latter impossible to but he tried. His mind felt jumbled with many images of her. The ones from their distant past, back in NJ. The images of her at his match, the meeting so fleeting and quick yet he remembered it vividly as if it happened like the meeting mere minutes ago to the pictures he caught glimpses of from the magazine.

Her hair still looked a bit darker, wavier and longer than the last time he saw her. She was still petite and small, probably an inch or two taller and that still put her a foot below him. She looked even smaller, drowning in the too sized too big of a hoodie. Yet with the black jeans and a pair of chucks she looked so much like the girl he knew from his youth. So much like the girl he lo..

He took a deep breath. It stuttered in his tight chest, making it sound like a forlorn whimper. He willed his feet to take a step forward, follow it by another and another and another until the space separating them vanished, until he stood right in front of her, breathing the same air she did. Where he could reach and touch her. Make sure she was real. That she wasn't a hallucination from another sleepless night.

_Come on._

_Move._

His feet felt cemented to where he stood and no matter how much he wanted to move forward, he couldn't. It was physically impossible to move. It felt physically impossible to call out to her as well. His vocal cords felt tangled and no sound was coming out.

The longer he stood away from her, the harder his heartbeats became, the tighter his chest felt and the sweatier his palms felt.

_Onetwothreefour_

She took a couple of short, shallow breaths. Then took a deep breath that filled her lungs entirely.

_Fivesixseven_

She released that breath slowly, feeling her tension dissipate with it.

_Eightnineten_

She repeated the short, shallow breaths. Then the deep breath again. The routine usually helped her relax.

It sounded like a new unattractive hyperventilation. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours or days that they stood at opposite ends of the parking lot, she couldn't tell. All she knew that he was here and he knew her. Knew she was April not the girl he saw at one of his matches.

He was too far away from her. Too far to see his eyes and what they were saying. Too far to see his body and what it was conveying.

His military-shaved hair was dark with moisture, clumped over his head. She took in the slant of his nose, and the softness of his lips that she had a sudden urge to moisten with her tongue. He looked tired, worn and desperate. He looked like a broken man looking for salvation. She couldn't even save herself, how could she even possibly...

She'd hoped for the sake of her sanity that he didn't come looking for her. But he had. Her name had been boomed in the open space. It didn't evaporate in the air. It reached her with the same intensity as it was said. She had felt the accusations, hurt and anger burning her back as she halted her escape. They weighed her down more effectively than steel shackles would do. And as she turned to face him, the slow burn that started to lick at her feet was now consuming her as she came face to face with him, where he knew who was staring back at him.

_So if you love me let me go_  
_And run away before I know_  
_My heart is just too dark to care_  
_I can`t destroy what isn`t there_

One step, another and another. His feet moved at last and the more they did, the more she became further away and the more she seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. The old feelings of anger, hurt and revenge consumed him; replacing the ones of shock, happiness and hope that filled him mere seconds ago.

The person standing in front of him wasn't the girl he adored, wasn't the girl he lost, and certainly wasn't the girl he lo..

She was the one the hurt him. The one to leave him and the one he was going to hurt back.

She watched him take a step back, followed by another stumbling one and it was clear that he was getting away, slipping through her slippery tight grasp. The further he became, the faster her tears welled up and fell. She couldn't go after him. Shouldn't Not after what she did. Not after the damage she had caused by leaving that night. Not after the damage she was going to cause if they talked.

She knew she was faced with two options. Either go after him, force the matter and get it out in the open. The band-aid approach.

Or let him have the escape he so obviously needed and desperately wanted, let him to cool off, let his thoughts and emotions settle down before they try to hash it out.

Either way she knew and she was certain he knew as well, that nothing will ever be the same for neither one of them.

* * *

_Deliver me into my fate_  
_If I`m alone I cannot hate_  
_I don`t deserve to have you_  
_Ooh, my smile was taken long ago_  
_If I can change I hope I never know_

**A month later:**

She shifted on her feet, nervous. Three timid knocks before shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. The longer she waited the longer and the louder she felt her heart beat. The more that tense knot in her stomach twisted.

She wasn't sure what to expect. After all he did hang up on her four times, had her leave a handful of voice mails before curtly accepting the call. It was short and to the point, after all 'What the hell you want?' can only be deciphered as such. There was no lost love for her, none of the teasing tilt to his tune, nor the warmth he regarded her with. And she couldn't blame him. Not only did she leave abruptly, leave them in the dark, probably broke his best friend`s heart, she had broken his as well.

Phil wasn't the only one affected. So many held and probably will hold grudges for some time regardless of her reasons on why she left. Phil, Joe, Scott, DeDe, and Derek. All the people she loved and loved her in return, she had hurt. So many were affected with her actions.

If only she had told him. He would have done something and fixed it. Phil always fixed things. Then their life would be much different now. She`d still have all of her friends, their love and trust. She`d still have Phil and even if things failed to work, she would at least have his trust rather than his justified anger.

A loud crash, cursing, then more shuffling before the door swung open and there he stood.

"Scott"

He knew her. Knew who she is and who she was and what she meant to him once upon a time. A little sister he once considered her. She still looked so much like the kid working the comic shop, small and dark yet so much different. The 17 years old April had an air of sassy spunk to her and a confidence like no other, except when it came to the best friend wearing a hole into the carpet of his bedroom. This practical stranger was timed, hesitant and her fire long burned out from her.

If Phil didn't tell him weeks ago, after banging on his door at 4 am, he would have a hard time trying to place where he knew her. He remembered vividly that day. It wasn't bad because he was terrorized awake from his warm bed near dawn, it was hell because of the state of Phil. If he didn't know any better, he would have said his friend was drunk as he paced, grunted, rubbed his face before slumping into the sofa with a heavy thud. For a fleeting second his emotions where all over his face. Confusion, anger, hope, rage, and hurt.

When he dared to ask him what was wrong, it shocked him, physically reeled him back to take a seating opposite from him.

_"I saw April today"_

_"Fuck"_

_"Yeah"_

_"Fuck"_

It had taken a while for them to find sense again, look for words and make a conversation. It spilled from how he ran into her, literally, at his first WWE title match, to reaching for the same comic at the same time, to the little girl who held the answer in her signed magazine.

No wonder they weren't able to find her all those years, and the years that followed where Phil gave up looking and he continued to search for her. There had been too many young dancers and too many names and none were named April or any variation from it.

"Can I help you?"

She tried not to flinch at his harsh hard words "It`s me. April?" she didn't want to sound so unsure of her own name but she was helpless as doubts filled her. She was unsure of her own memory in his mind. It was crystal clear the only memory he has of her where she left them behind.

"Yeah, come in" he stepped back, allowing her to enter his apartment "Excuse the mess I wasn't expecting any guests" the way he stressed the word guest, spoke volumes. He wasn't going to make it easy on her. He saw her as the enemy. A cold heartless enemy.

Good thing she wasn't about to quit anytime soon. Not until she gets this mess straightened up and start doing much-needed and long overdue damage control.

First stop:

Scott

_I still press your letters to my lips_  
_And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss_  
_I couldn't face a life without your lights _  
_But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight_

His palms were flat against the door and the urge to break it down, go out there and see her was overwhelming. Her voice alone spun him out of control and he could only guess what seeing her will do to him. He had spent countless hours sitting in front of the fireplace, hand refusing to throw her letter and diary as he did her drawing. He wanted to get rid of all traces of her now he knew she was alive and has been alive for so long whereas he just existed.

_Do you know that place between being asleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams? That's where I'll always love you. Be the best in the world, Phil._

He was just asking for added punishment whenever he read those cried upon words. They sounded so true and sincere yet contradicted the actions. She shows love by leaving? She shows care and adoration by dropping off the face of the earth for reasons only known to her.

He had always figured it had something to do with her parents. How many late nights he spent with Scott and Joe, just Scott or him and his overactive sleep deprived brain. Theory after theory shot to hell and after a while the subject was too painful to talk about.

Her mother`s visit to him, a very brute and enlightening experience, her father`s absence and the recent fights, it all pointed to family issues. Running from an abusive father to her parents getting divorced to million other possibilities terrorized him awake before he came to a conclusion.

To break someone`s heart, you don't have to have a god damn good reason. You simply had to lack the heart to do it.

_So save your breath, I will not care_  
_I think I made it very clear_  
_You couldn't hate enough to love_  
_Is that supposed to be enough?_

"You got no idea what you've put him through. You think it's easy being the one to be left behind?" every word felt like a brick hitting her with enough force to be lethal. She had no idea a simple question of 'How have you been?' would spiral so out of control so fast.

_I only wish you weren't my friend_  
_Then I could hurt you in the end_  
_I never claimed to be a saint_  
_Ooh, my own was banished long ago_  
_It took the death of hope to let you go_

"Of course not, you were always a spoiled little brat. I should have listened to him but nooo I had to play Mr Matchmaker and push you two together and to think all those time I have set you up to meet or get stuck together I could have spared him the heartache. I am no better than you. I helped you break my best friend. My brother"

Even he felt nauseated by the words. Too harsh, he had told him. But this what Phil wanted, this is what he had set out to do. She had willingly walked into a well planned trapped, and what has been always the prey has now become the hunter. Just like he knew she`d call him eventually, just like he knew those words would destroy her like she did him.

Punk was hell-bent on payback. Phil was long gone now.

"Yeah, go ahead run. It`s what you`re good at" the door slammed shut with enough force to make him jump. He stood still, watching it even as another door opened and heavy footfalls sounded. Their shoulders brushed, in another sign of solidarity, much like what he had done earlier.

"I think we went too far"

He stood silent next to him and he wasn't sure who 'he' was. Phil or Punk. But as the silence dragged on he had an inkling suspicion that Phil was slowly breaking from the chains imposed on him by Punk.

"You've heard what she said before I tore her to pieces"

"Yes, I have"

"Tell me you changed your mind. It`s not worth playing this dangerous game. People will get hurt"

A dry laugh "Where the fuck you been? People got hurt a long time ago" Unconsciously he dropped down to the same chair she sat on mere minutes ago.

"No. I have waited seven years for this"

He should hate her, but all he felt was regret. Regret that their fairytale was corrupted. Regret that things will never be the same. Regret that he may never find peace.

* * *

_So break yourself against my stones_  
_And spit your pity in my soul_  
_You never needed any help_  
_You sold me out to save yourself_

She woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with half the blankets on the floor and her feet twisted in the sheets. After seven years, the nightmares should have stopped by now but they hadn't As usual, she was freezing from the inside out, her hands were shaking and her head was pounding. The dull ache of emptiness sat inside her, still festering after all this time.

She pulled the worn quilt from the floor by her narrow twin bed and wrapped it around herself before padding to the kitchen. She used a frayed corner of the blanket to wipe her forehead and the tears that she barely noticed were there. Picking up her favorite glass from the dish drainer, she filled it with nearly cold water and gulped it down like she had spent the night in the desert.

"Are you ever gonna tell him about what happened? Anything at all?"

She knew her sister was there as well, with another quilt wrapped around her, a habit that refused to die with both sisters. This was a routine whenever they slept under the same roof, Nessa would wake up, crying for Liam and she would wake up, drenched in cold sweat.

She knew what her sister meant. And she would have, had he not blew her off, set Scott against her; not that he needed much encouragements, but the words sounded more like the scorned Phil rather than hurt Scott.

"Not now. Maybe not ever"

_He can never know._

* * *

**Thanks for reading :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Happy Reading:)**

* * *

**March, 19th 2013**

"What are we doing here man?"

The silence was filling the car rapidly as the two long life friends sat. The low tunes of a punk song played in the background since they parked over twenty minutes ago. The bright rays of early morning sun barely filtered by the shaded windows, doing a good job of hiding the two occupants inside.

Sighing when no answer was given to him, he placed the steaming coffee on the dashboard before flipping the overhead mirror open. He grunted at his cat bed hair refused to be matted down no matter how many times he ran his fingers through it. Resigned to looking like he`d been dragged barely half awake from his hotel bed in his pajamas near dawn, which was ironically what had happened, he flipped it shut, taking a gulp of the scalding liquid.

Rolling his pained burnt tongue around, he closed his eyes and reclined back, knowing when he was ready, Punk will tell him what they were doing here at seven-thirty in the morning in some suburb area in New York.

Again he found himself terrorized awake by the same man, who banged at his door so hard he was sure he woke the people on his floor. He had barged in like a wild animal, eyes red rimmed from lack of sleep, pacing before he demanded he come with him, dragging him before he asked him any kind of question.

"You know if you don`t start telling me what and why we are sitting on our asses in a car like we are on a stake out, I am getting out of this car and walking back to my bed"

A scoff "You wouldn't"

"I might"

"Not with your cookie monster pajamas on"

"God damn it Punk. Just tell me already"

He thought for long silent minutes he wasn't getting anything out of the stubborn bitter man, until he spoke, softly and low that he had to strain just to hear him.

"I had someone follow April since I met her back in January. You know find what she had been up to the past seven years stuff like that. For two months I got up to speed on things from her studies, countless jobs, her family and"

He interrupted "Her love life?" Shrugging when he was met with a glare.

"I found out her mother and sister live somewhere near her place, while she got a place closer to her school. Nothing known on father"

He frowned, thinking back on their time in New Jersey, how Martin; their father, was never home and always at work "Their father has pretty much been absent the entire time we were there"

Funny how he wasn't judged by having her spied on._ Probably because he knows that pussy whipped punk is still there inside you._

He raised his own cup to his mouth, enjoying the bitter taste of the coffee in his mouth. The only time he had seen the old man when he was there for her school dance.

_"If you cared at all about me and the kids, you wouldn't have done so from the start" A crash, something shattering "Who do think I have been doing this for, huh? for you and your daughters"_

He frowned, remembering the raised voices of her parents, the sight of her crying. Maybe the father did have something to do with why they left. He shook his head, her father wasn't the reason for their early visit.

_**February, 25th 2013**_

_**Monday Night Raw**_

_He rounded the corner, along side Paul and Scott who were busy having their own private animated conversation, when he felt something small knock into him. An 'omph' followed by a small thud sounded before he halted his steps, fearing running them over again._

_The victim of his hit and run was a small lean boy. Feeling like shit, he crouched down, offering his hand to help him up, all the while thinking of a way to make it up to him. True he was a heel, a down right bastard on TV and while kids were not among his favorite, it didn't mean he had to be cruel to them on purpose. Bright green eyes peeked through mopey dark hair, they twinkled with something so familiar as they looked at him in awe. Guessing from the t-shirt he was wearing, he`d just met a young fan of his._

_"What`s your name kid?" once the boy was standing on his feet, he looked to find Paul and Scott watching them intently. He motioned for a pen, grasping it when Paul offered one immediately. Signing his merchandise tended to pacify wounded egos and please his fans._

_"Mommy said I wasn't supposed to talk to strangers, Mr Punk" small tapped hand with an 'X' reached to move some of the hair away from his eyes. Muffled chuckles reached him and the urge to whirl around and glare at them was almost impossible to resist. He had to let a chuckle as well, the kid certainly was ballsy and he couldn't be older than 6 maybe 7 at the most._

_Now that his face was more clear, the boy`s features were familiar to something he knew so well. Caramel skin, small button nose and those chipmunks cheek, the boy looked so much like..._

_'No! Stop comparing everyone to her' he chided himself._

_"We`re not strangers. You know my name and I think it`s only fair I know yours, so I can sign my T-shirt for ya"_

_Shyly, the boy dipped his head, the long locks falling back across his face "Delin"_

_He brushed the jacket to the side, signing with ease his name. Once done he tugged the labels of the jacket closer to zip him up. The rectangle white patch catching his attention._

_'It wouldn't hurt to know who that kid was'_

_The contact information were written elegantly in a handwriting he knew as well._

_'Jean Lee' froze him and he felt his hands go cold. Just how was this kid related to April? What was her connection to D-_

_"Uncle Chris! Over here" he was brought out by the small excited voice who was waving to Kaitlyn and another tall man, who as he walked closer to them he knew who he was._

_Chris. April`s big brother._

_He let go of Delin`s jacket, watching him fly into his uncle`s arms, chatting excitedly how he got an autograph by his favorite wrestler._

_Eyes so much like his sister`s turned to him, his next words almost crashing him to the floor_

_"Thanks for making my nephew`s day"_

* * *

That was almost three weeks ago and the private investigator had come up with nothing. No birth certificate, nothing, just pictures with him and April`s family, most of them with April herself.

He remembered his last meeting with the man, how anxious he had been and how tense. Virtually nothing was known about this situation and he desperately needed to know

_"How is she?" As usual, he was wrinkled from being up all night. This visit was not the first for him but rather the last before he went to bed. He was a cheap looking private investigator, but he was great at his job._

_"The same," He answered into his glass, "I hate to admit this, Punk, but you should probably stop paying me. Nothing new has happened for a very long time. She's exactly the same as she was last week and the week before that and the week before that. And that kid. He`s like a ghost, almost as if he just showed up. I couldn't find anything. Not under Mendez, or Lee. That boy doesn't exist"_

_"Just tell me," he snapped, "I'll decide when I'm done paying you to spy on her." He stood up and refilled his glass, he grumbled "The same. What the hell do you know about it? And give me the fucking pictures."_

_He tossed an envelope to him muttering under his breath, as he fetched a soda from the fridge. He carefully kept his eyes from straying to the door to his left. Behind the door, he knew was Punk's bedroom and on the far wall was plastered ceiling to floor with the pictures he had taken over the past month or so. It was frighteningly similar to a serial killer's trophy wall. It gave him the creeps. In fact, the first time he saw it, he occurred to him that the bastard might even do something crazy some day if she didn't come home._

_As he thought about it, he found his gaze straying toward the door and he snapped back to watch his employer. Punk had never meant for him to see that wall. No one should ever have to see that maniacal fucking wall. He nursed his drink as Punk tore into the envelope and pored over the pictures carefully, eyeing every detail quickly before looking back up at his employee._

_"She's thinner and she's been sleeping less," he barked angrily, "These aren't the same as last week."_

_"Every week she's thinner and she's been sleeping less. Man, you're crazy if you think she's just going to up and come home"_

_"I don't pay to hear your opinion," he growled. "I don't care if you have one. Just tell me about her."_

_He fidgeted in his seat. Every week it was the same. He watched April, and then Punk wrestled every single detail from him with that look on his face, that suicidal, drowning man look. And how he hated that god damn look. It made him want to slit his own throat or Punk's - anything to make it stop._

_That, of course, was nothing compared to the girl. She looked like a light breeze would send her careening toward the ground and she had this haunted look about her, like she was already dead and now was waiting for her body to catch up with her mind. He had never seen two people more in love with each other and trying to die at the same time._

* * *

**Across the street from the parked car.**

**Second floor, apartment 24B**

"Happy birthday to you..Happy birthday to you..Happy birthday sweet Delin...Happy birthday to you" she carefully walked, cupping a hand around the candle so it wont burn out as she walked. She softly sang as she reached the still sleep rumbled boy in his Spiderman pajamas. The green eyes became alert and the bed bounced slightly with his excited movements as he spied the chocolate cupcake she had with her.

Easing down next to him, she felt him burrow under her arms, his small arm circling her waist to the best of his abilities. He waited patiently as she finished the song for the second time before preparing to blow the candle out.

"Wait"

"What?" he whined as he turned his face up to her.

"Remember make a wish you really want. Nana already got you the bicycle you wanted. Shhh" she held her finger to her mouth, in sign to keep a secret.

"Really?" his excitement was poorly contained.

"Really. Now make a wish kiddo. What do you want?"

He closed his eyes, breathing slowly as he thought his wish through before letting one long breath to blow the candle off.

Under his breath, softly, she heard him as if he had screamed it and her heart broke a million times over.

"I wish daddy was here"

_I wish daddy was here too baby"_

* * *

"Punk come on, there is no one coming out. She either got the day off or she`s at her parents plac-"

"Shut up. Here they are"

"They? Punk who are they?"

They watched as April walked out of her building holding a backpack in her hand, waiting as a young boy joined her, struggling to put his jacket on before she moved to help him.

"See that kid?"

He nodded, not that Punk would see him as both were watching the display "Yeah?"

"That`s the kid I ran into backstage weeks ago, Delin"

"Yeah I remember him. Cool kid. What? why is.. I don't understand. What`s going on here Punk?"

"I think he`s my son. I think Delin is my son"

* * *

**Thoughts anyone?**


	17. Chapter 17

**ISAYTHETRUTH:**

**I thought you wanted to be original?! I mean c'mon, he has a son? Tell me that, that idea is not from 100 other fiction here! God why does she end pregnant all the time, you know what my fave fiction is? Is Jeanthe Guardian's one, you want to know why? Because he's realist we all know that if Punk hired a detective he would found out about April's son with an ease, I'm really sorry but I loved this fic in the beggining I was obsessed,.. Now it's bullshit!**

Thanks for your honest opinion. However all I have to say is you have spoken too soon. Thanks for saying how you thought this is bullshit. Also for stalking my twitter, ask and harassing my friends. Have an awesome day :)

According to lakayla98 I am using MyChoasTheory ideas from The Long Way Home here.

Thanks all. Keep on hating :)

* * *

_Got a secret_  
_Can you keep it?_  
_Swear this one you'll save_  
_Better lock it, in your pocket_  
_Taking this one to the grave_  
_If I show you then I know you_  
_Won't tell what I said_  
_Cause two can keep a secret_  
_If one of them is dead…_

"But I thought you loved John Cena?"

"I plead insanity"

"Fair enough. What changed your mind?"

"All the kids love him and stuff and I wanna be different so I am rotting for his arch-enemy"

"Who`s that? The Rock?"

"No silly. CM Punk"

The awkward silent stretched between the sisters as they finished cleaning the apartment and putting out the trash. The little small get together for Delin`s birthday was over almost half an hour ago and they have been cleaning ever since. The mess three small children could do was astounding. Wrapping papers torn to shreds by eager hands, plastic cups, dirty pizza plates and the endless snacks that littered the floor as three young six years old, ran around; screaming their excitement.

"Delin sweetie go get your jacket, I think we`ll go with uncle Chris and Kaitlyn. Hurry up" The small boy ran to his room, talking in his excited nervous babble.

"But I thought we are all staying here for the night" confused, she closed the trash bag, securing it. She opened the faucet, rinsing her hands before taking a near by kitchen cloth to dry off.

Nessa looked between the window and her sister who was approaching her, still confused. A quick inventory of her sister`s state told her it`ll have to do. Simple dark jeans and long-sleeved white cotton top and hair in a loose french twist.

"Nessa what`s going on?" ever the suspicious and ever knowing her sister`s failed attempts at covering up, she was getting antsy. There was a feeling on impending doom hovering over her head much like a dark overhead cloud, threatening to rain at a whim.

"I am ready" Delin ran back, shoving his arm in his jacket, the green beanie hat covering his eyes and it was a miracle that he didn't trip as he ran back, screaming his readiness.

"Awesome, let me get my jacket and I`ll be back"

She reappeared minutes later, looking flushed, her eyes not meeting the ones of April`s who was asking millions of questions.

"Nessa" the warning was clear in her tune.

"Come on Delin" she grabbed the small hand, tugging him along as they headed for the door.

Now sure something was going on, she followed them, determined to get some answers.

Get them NOW.

In slow motion it all happened. She reached quickly to stop her sister from turning the handle and walking out in a hurry but she was too late. The handle was now turned the door was being opened.

He filled the door frame with his body. The last time she had seen him this close, he was leaner, hair longer and he was much tolerant to her. He had built up some muscles but not so much, it fitted him more than the jacked up wrestler look and she knew it was one of the reasons he was looked over when it came to champion material. The old cubs hat he always had with him was present on top of his head, tipped low to conceal his features partially.

"Punk"

"Nessa"

"Mr Punk"

He looked from her stricken face to the little boy looking up at him with so much adoration. If Delin did turn out to be his son, he was sure he`ll be welcomed with open arms with the little boy. He did have to admit, having a son with a woman he once lo.. knew all so well from the past, did not sound all too bad to him except the fact that he had missed complete seven years of his son`s life.

"How are you doing Delin?" He crouched to his level, taking his hat off so he could see the boy who could be his son, who as minutes ticked by he was certain of him being his own flesh and blood.

"I am awesome. Turned seven today" he held seven fingers to show him how much. Seven years, it would mean Delin was born in 2006. Adding two and two and getting a five, the time of the pregnancy did fall into the same time he had taken her innocence away.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he had to grab to the door frame to keep from falling to the floor in a daze.

"Really? Seven? You`re all grown up now" his accusations were loud in his eyes, words and his whole hostile body language. His eyes snared her confused fearful ones, willing her to break eye contact, willing her to admit the secret she held from him for all those years.

Bitterly, he realized he`d been deprived of all seven birthdays. Seven years worth of memories, playful events. First crawl, walk and run. First time on the big boys bicycle. First day at preschool. She took away selfishly the first time he`d say 'dada'. She snatched away the first time he would have gotten to hold his first son for the first time in his life.

"Come on sweetie, they`re waiting for us. Say bye"

"Bye Mr Punk" he watched the boy wave until he disappeared with Nessa dragging him away. He looked back to her standing inside the shelter of her apartment, so small, so fragile and so alone. Their conversation was long overdue. There was so much to be aired out tonight and so much that needed to be said. He was now glad it was just the two of them for when the explosion will happen, there won`t be any casualties from it.

He stepped in when she moved to let him pass. He took in the small cozy apartment, the pictures, the toys littering the floor. She followed him as he went deeper into the apartment after she locked the door behind them.

She knew the reason her sister left so abruptly was because she saw Phil coming into the building as she stood next to the window.

He turned around, facing her again. He noted the safe distance she kept from him and snorted.

Nothing was going to save her from what he had to say as he was sure he won`t be saved from what she will reveal about that night, seven years ago.

"We need to talk, April"

* * *

_Why do you smile _  
_Like you have told a secret_  
_Now you're telling lies_  
_Cause you're the one to keep it_  
_But no one keeps a secret_  
_No one keeps a secret_

She knew the time has finally come to for him to know all of what had happened to her. She couldn't keep it from him, not when he finally showed up, and not when he finally made the first step to reach out to her after the shit she knew she put him through. She had been raw and wounded, the pain refusing to subside as she personally and literally dealt with her own version of hell in the months that followed her leaving. Time had eventually begun to work its magic, easing her pain and helping to heal her wounds.

It had taken her months to recover from the loss of him in her life. She filled her every waking moment with activity, knowing that it did no good to dwell on what she did not and could not have. But her heart had been battered and bruised, and she was unwilling to take chances with it again.

The pain of her brother's leaving, of her dad's leaving - while each hurt, it was never as bad as anything she had been through with Phil. But that was because she never allowed it to be. She had kept the others at a distance, guarding her emotions. Still, she was only human so she did care. She did love. Just never as much.

She had thought she was doing just fine. She thought that she had maturely and confidently tucked Phil away in her memories to be cherished and remembered fondly. Maybe not now, but someday. She had believed that after all the time that had passed that her heart had finally healed and that Phil or any reminders of him could no longer touch her. That she had moved on. That is, until today.

She was prepared for anything he might ask or demand. Anything but this.

_"Delin"_

_"What about Delin?"_

_"Is he my son?"_

"What?" her voice squeaked. She felt her body start to tremble and she tried to stand up right and keep eye contact with his accusatory green eyes as they hurtled accusations, indictments and blame at her like speeding darts at a dartboard, all hitting bullseyes target; her heart.

"I am tired of playing fucking games April. Is he or isn't he my son?"

"No, of course not. Delin isn't yours"

_Breathe, Punk. She is no use to you dead._

"I say either you`re fucking lying, or you have spread them legs open after ditching me beh-" the words were cut short as a sharp slap echoed in the now silent apartment. Her chest heaved as she tried to clamp the urge to wallow up and die in a ditch.

His nostrils flared as he breathed through the coursing anger in his veins. He had forgotten what a good slapper she was, much like when she slapped him as Colt`s valet, his cheek felt burnt from the impact and he blinked the stinging in his eyes away. His fists clenched at his sides, reminding himself that no matter how the urge hit, he`d never ever put a harming finger on a woman. Even one who was acting like April right now.

He watched her disappear, and he scoffed.

_Once a runner, always a runner._

She reappeared, tracks of salty tears glistening on her now flushed cheeks, the feeling of guilt threatening to consume him the closer she got to him. She shoved a neat paper into his chest forcefully.

"Delin is Vanessa`s son. Read his birth certificate. His father, Liam, died at war when Delin was three and a half. Delin isn't yours Phil."

Shakily, he reached for the paper he was clutching to his chest. His eyes ate the words, quickly reading the information. It was true. She was telling the truth.

Delin wasn't his and April. The little boy was her sister`s and the scrawny kid who used to pick up Vanessa during their time in NJ.

He thought Delin looked like April, when in fact he looked like Vanessa who looked like her sister. The green eyes were now the wrong shade as he focused more and more on the images he had of Delin in his mind. His were forest green while Delin`s were a hazel green.

He didn't know if he was revealed that he didn't have a seven years old son, whom he missed being there for him or disappointed that the sweet young boy wasn't his and April. Maybe a mix of both.

"Now get the fuck out Punk. And don`t come back ever" the bite in her tune was something he knew all too well. Cold, scornful and hateful was her defense mechanism when she was hurt and angry.

"No. Not until you tell me why you left. Not until I know why you disappeared into thin air"

She knew he meant what he said, knew how stubborn he was when he wanted to know something, so like a dog with a big juicy bone.

"You wanna know why I left? You wanna know why I ran and left you behind? You wanna know what was so fucking life changing that we had to be up and gone like that?" with each word, she shoved him harder and harder until he fell back into an armchair, his face unreadable just as his eyes guarded. His mouth was in a grim line and the ever present scowl was deep as ever.

"Well listen up to the broken tale of a fucked up ballerina. I am sure you`ll get a kick out of it too"

* * *

_Why when we do our darkest deeds_  
_Do we tell?_  
_They burn in our brains_  
_Become a living hell_  
_Cause everyone tells_  
_Everyone tells…_

He glared as he watched her open the fridge and get a chilled bottle of beer and another can of Pepsi, telling him she hadn't forgotten about his no drinking lifestyle. She slammed the can on the table, satisfied with when he jumped in surprise.

The apartment was not her home even though she lived there and the chair she didn't feel like it belonged her even though it did. She bought it at The Salvation Army thrift store along with most of her furniture. Burrowing down in her brown corduroy armchair, decorated with cigarette burns along one arm from the ghost of someone else's vice, she closed her eyes, shuddering when she thought of the expression on his face. The same face she saw every night in her dreams.

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and pretended she was curled up in her brother`s flawless leather chair in the quilt her mother had knitted. She missed being in that chair in that quilt, loving the clash of the two things owned by the people she loved most and the difference in their texture.

"It was no secret that we were poor, living on paycheck to paycheck and whatever money me and my sister could work for. Apparently daddy dearest has been burrowing money from the wrong people. Too much money for a lot of bad people. He had kept it a secret until they started demanding he pay up and he was coming up short on cash. They knew where Chris was stationed. They knew everything. They were going to hurt my family. So he start demanding we pack what we can because we are leaving. We weren't allowed to say anything to anyone. I was so stupid back then, young and naive that I actually believed him."

Her father`s face loomed behind her closed eyes so she opened them again and tried to shake him off like the chills, but he stayed with her and strangely, she didn't mind the weight she bore. She still remembered the smell of the moving truck, which was a mixture of mothballs, cedar and stale air.

"What about me? Why didn't you tell me any of this? Was I good enough to fuck then leave behind?" his voice hoarse and sandpaper dry. She thought it sounded like he had screamed all night for how raspy it came out. His words cut through her, slashing at her insides with vengeance. Like a seasoned hunter, he knew how to twist the blade to scar.

"You were everything" _You ARE everything _"We lost so much that day. My home, my family, friends, Scott, me and you"

He sat, dazed and reeling from what she had told him. How could a father be so fucking irresponsible? How could he uproot his family like that? Endanger them so easily.

"I know nothing will be the same. It`s been killing me for seven years"

"Leave Phil. Leave and don't come back"

Her demands were clear. Her wishes plain as day.

Her soul was attached with hooks. She'd never known that until now. How could she have known? The barbs didn't hurt as she lay wrapped and happy in his arms that night. She'd been totally ignorant of the fact that, for every second they spent together, the hooks had worked into her, deeper and deeper, sinking into her heart. Her lungs. Her very existence while she wasn't paying attention.

Her soul, a gift she hadn't meant to give away, yanked at those hooks as he got further away, ripping and shredding their way through her ribcage.

She couldn't breathe.

She needed her soul. He simply wasn't allowed to keep it with him. It was supposed to be with her at all times or else she`ll die. She had to have it back. The hooks inside her demanded it be restored or they'd tear her to pieces. She called for its return.

"Let me go," she said to his retreating back.

He was almost to the door, but he slowed his step. He turned to look at her. He knew what she meant. He knew what she wanted.

He wanted the same thing.

His hands flexed at his side. They held her soul firmly in their grasp, refusing to release it. He shook his head with finality. Not until the hooks in his own heart worked their way out. Not until those barbs stopped cutting into his lungs and hurting like a bitch. Not until he was able to walk away from her and not leave his own soul behind. No way.

Until she relinquished his soul, she sure as hell wasn't getting hers back.

"No."

* * *

**Even if I did have her pregnant and Delin was his son. People have kids...wow it`s like so shocking.**

**If you don't like the story, don't read. Simple.**


	18. Chapter 18

_The broken clock is a comfort_

_It helps me sleep tonight_

_Maybe it can start tomorrow_

_From stealing all my time_

He walked back inside his apartment, closing the door with his foot, eyes looking at the brown wrapped package in his hand. His mind was all over the place since not many knew he was in his apartment in Chicago at the moment minus his family and immediate friends, namely Scott and Luke. He shook the package trying to guess what was inside before flipping to read the card stuck on top.

'New York' frowning he set to unwrap the rectangle box and a minute later he open it, seeing a small white note atop of a black notebook. He knew that book, had one just like it in a box somewhere in this house. He opened the paper already knowing whom had sent it. Just like the last time, Vanessa Mendez took it upon herself to try to shorten the growing gap between him and her younger sister.

_April._

The name was bittersweet to him. Like it always was and probably always will be. It didn't help when her reasons for leaving became known to him, he still believes she could have left a note, a way to keep in touch anything. He`d be lying if it didn't soften him to her a bit, the thought of taking revenge on her, much like he vowed to do became less and less appealing as days went by.

It`s been nine days since he left her apartment in NY. He had no idea what or why he said that parting 'No'. He knew she meant for him to let go, be gone and never come back to her. And all he knew that he couldn't do it. Not just yet, not with so much still hanging in the air between them. Maybe not ever. Even as much as he still feels pain from her abandonment all those years ago, a glaring reason why he should never cross paths with her accidentally or on purpose, the idea of not having her ever, even after years of forced separation, was unfathomable.

After the revelation that the sweet boy named Delin was not his but rather Nessa`s and her deceased boyfriend, he had went back to his hotel room, head buzzing with so many thoughts, heart heavy with emotions so alien to him. He didn't expect the disappointment to hit him so hard, he had believed him his son, a piece of the April he once knew, he once loved.

Yes, loved. Another epiphany of sorts hit him hard that night.

He loved April with all of his heart. A part of him still does. For her to survive intact, buried under all the anger, rage and hurt, come out bruised, battered but in one piece was admirable. Just like she survived the hardships of life, her memory; the memory of the 18 years old ballerina, dancing in his arms and bed for that single and lonely night had survived him trying to bury her alive.

He glanced back at the paper, containing a phone number and a 'Call me ASAP, Nessa'. He fingered the black book, contemplating opening the journal and reading. This will no doubt hold all the answers he needed, he had sought from the PI guy. This will answer him better than any background investigation ever could.

Maybe he could let her go then.

Maybe it`ll help him sleep better... he looked as another small note fell to the floor as he shifted the book, getting ready to read it then call Nessa.

'Don`t you dare read it. Not before you call me' he rolled his eyes. They knew him so well, even after years of absence.

He cradled the phone to his ear, hearing the familiar dial tune, waiting for the elder sister to pick up. He knew something will be changed the moment he`d hang up. The moment where Nessa told him what was so important.

_And I am here still waiting_

_Though I still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best_

_Like you've already figured out_

She watched from afar as her sister fell into another bout of depressed feelings. She was used to it when that time of the year rolled around. It would start a week before Christmas, rolling into the early weeks of the new year. The ritual was renewed as soon as Punk had stepped foot outside of the apartment. She was still shocked to a degree when April told her how Delin was mistaken for his son. She knew the timing for the unplanned pregnancy fell around the time he and her sister had done the deed but the fact that he thought he had son from her sister was damaging to both. God knows the torment he`d had to deal with, wondering if you had a seven years old boy, who you knew nothing about, one that you missed seven eventful years of his young life. She knew the pain her sister went through just with that simple accusation, just with simple deny that 'No Delin isn't our son'.

She couldn't help but think how things would have been different if they had kept in touch, or better yet, if they didn't leave in the first place. Maybe they`d still have a chance. Maybe her sister would have been spared. Maybe Punk would have been spared the heartache. The major first love that went nowhere heartache. Her sister would be much better, much more livelier. The change in her behavior from the happy-go-lucky girl who had a deliriously charmed life to the dark, sardonic woman she became could not go without notice. She never smiled anymore. She thought she did, but there was so no joy in the gesture. She simply bared her teeth.

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barley breathing_

_With a broken heart_

_That's still beating_

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she knew who was calling. He`d have to have the package by now. Getting to him was not easy, nor to his friend Scott, who helped her know when and where to ship that box.

She ducked inside her room, after making sure her sister was not paying her attention. She flipped the phone open, accepting the call.

_"What are you trying to do Nessa?"_

"Well hello to you too"

_"I am serious. What`s your end game?"_

"There`s no game here. My end is I want to help you. Both of you"

_"Why would I need-"_

"There`s so much you have to know. So much I can`t tell you because I promised. So much she won`t tell you. So much only her diary could tell you"

_"Know what? What is it that she wont tell me?"_

"I can't tell you. She made me swear on P.. listen just read the damn thing and get your tattooed ass here. She`s watching Buffy`s season six. It`s a cry for help"

_"No.. It`s im... Is this... Are you fucking with me?"_

"Get here. Please Phil she needs your help. She needs you"

_In the pain_

_There is healing_

_In your name_

_I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on_

_I'm barely holding on to you_

As soon as sun sank low on the horizon his plane had landed, and he was in his rental and on the road to April`s house . The roads were fairly free of traffic for the time of the evening, the speedometer on the car averaging 100 miles per hour, but the driver noticed neither the traffic nor the speed of his car so intent was he on his jumbled thoughts.

Unwilling to risk leaving the diary behind, it now sat next to him on the seat almost taunting him. He glanced at it periodically during the drive, he still couldn't believe what he had read multiple times just to make sure he was seeing what was written right. He had sought answers to the questions that Nessa planted in his mind. However he knew he`d have to actually confront April on what he had read. Wast it true? Was she? Did she go through all of that? He knew what he had to do by going directly to her with any questions, doubts or even innuendos about anything that involved either of them. It was the only thing to be done now.

Tonight all the secrets will be aired, all the cards revealed.

Reaching the house, he parked the car across the street from April`s building and cut the engine. The day had passed with interminable slowness as the statements that Nessa had dropped on him continued to reverberate through his mind. His body was fatigued, but his nerves were still charged with tension, his mind alive with anxiety.

Exiting the car, he glanced around the streets, empty with no sign of life as he walked up the path to building's front door. When he reached April's door, he hesitated for almost five seconds before he knocked, listening to the subtle sounds of her moving around inside the house before she padded to the door.

_The broken locks were a warning_

_You got inside my head_

_I tried my best to be guarded_

_I'm an open book instead_

She looked at the door, glaring before turning back to her TV, drawing the blanket more securely around her shoulders, sniffing as she dug her spoon in her extra crunchy peanut butter icecream bowl. She`s been on her Buffy marathon for days now, finally reaching the dark and gloomy season 6 where a newly returned Buffy, ripped away from heaven and was thrust back into the hellish earth, walked around with a hole, feeling numb and empty. Like her for the past seven years.

Cursing, she set the bowl on the table, tugging the blanket over her shoulders, padding to the door, dreading talking with anyone. Nessa and Delin were back at her parents` place and she enjoyed the miserable company of her own for the night. All until an unwelcomed guest arrived.

"Phil?"her eyes flaring wide in surprise. She quickly allowed herself one little peek of him. He was thinner and he looked sickly – much as Phil could anyway. Of course, sickly thin for Phil was still broad shouldered and beautiful. He made her apartment feel like a cardboard box when he was in it, like the walls would just tear away. He always looked strong and safe and dangerous to her. He looked like love, like the future - things she wasn't allowed to have.

He simply stared at her in response for a long moment. She still said his name the exact same way that she always had, part question, part breathy expectation, and it still made his heart squeeze a little in his chest every time much like it did back in the good old days. It was another little thing about her that he had missed, though he hadn't realized just how much until now. Until he heard her say his name.

He took in her pale face, the redness of her eyes all the more obvious. Her usually curled hair was in a ponytail, the small fringe reaching atop of her glasses perched high on her nose. She looked as if a light breeze might break her, shatter her into a million pieces that it would take forever to reassemble. He knew he was looking at her into a whole new light. With all that was revealed and all that will be revealed, the ice surrounding his heart was beginning to thaw as he thought what she went through. How scared, helpless and alone she felt. He knew he should have been there for her, but that chance was ripped from him by her father. She was as much of a victim in this whole mess, maybe more so than him. After all he went on with his life, made a name for himself and did what he promised her he`d do. Become the best in the world.

She was forced to forget, bury herself in her studies and the numerous jobs she held just to support herself and her family. He really felt a sense of pride and a whole new level of respect for her, that after everything she went through she was still standing on both feet.

"Um, you want to come in?" At the long silent pause from him, she shifted slightly on her feet and cocked her head to one side. She studied his face, his serious expression. What did he want?

He finally nodded, the movement of his head slight as he stepped forward. He mumbled something as he followed her, his mind in disarray. Now that he was here, he didn't have the slightest idea how to begin the conversation.

"What`s wrong?" it was tired, resigned and just all too depressing. He took in the paused scene, knowing all too well that particular episode. Buffy was crying, her head in the lap of confused Tara. Nessa was right, it was a cry for help "I need to talk to you"

"Alright. Coffee?" she asked casually.

"No, thanks." He replied with a small shake of his head.

"Okay, so no coffee." she sat to pour herself cup, knowing she`ll need it. Glancing at him curiously over the rim, she took a small sip of the steaming liquid. "You want to sit down?"

"Yes. No." he answered tersely, his hands gripping the back of the chair in front of him tightly.

"Okay. Which is it?" her lips curved upward in a slight smile, wondering if he was even aware of his contradictory answer, as distracted as he seemed to be.

"No." He dropped his hands from the chair in an abrupt restless motion, pacing over to the window.

"So. we've established no coffee, no sitting." Tucking her legs up in the chair, she watched him as he braced his hands on the counter and stared moodily out the window into the dark. Absently she rubbed her neck, her dream from last night creeping into her consciousness. Her body warmed slightly as she thought of having sex with him again. Was that why he had come back? If so, then why the restless agitation?

Turning around to face her, his back rigid with tension he started to speak then clamped his mouth shut. He couldn't seem to find the right words, much less get them out.

"Okay, Phil. Something is obviously wrong. What's up?" She asked quietly, still in tune with his moods after all these years. Standing she gathered her dishes from the table and moved toward the sink, trying desperately to keep her lips from trembling, eyes wide to deny the tears that were already forming. At least she didn't have to look at him now. She wouldn't have to see that look in those addictive green eyes. She already knew they were overflowing an indescribable amount of pain and love and it was too much to handle. She couldn't stand the thought of seeing her missing future in them.

_And I still see your reflection_

_Inside of my eyes_

_That are looking for purpose_

_They're still looking for life_

Deafening silence added to what was already there and she continued to stare at the wall. Her heart was screaming for her to do something, anything but she stayed still. She would rather walk on hot coals than see that look in his eyes. She didn't want to see the hurt she saw in her dreams every night. She couldn't stand it.

"April. I have something I have to ask you." He paused, finding it easier somehow to speak now that she was no longer looking at him. He waited. She counted the heartbeats in between. 25 before he spoke again. "And I need you to be honest with me."

"Sure." She replied distractedly, rinsing her dishes in the sink. _Please ask quickly and go away. I wanna break down alone, not infornt of you. Pleasepleasepleaseplease._

"Who is Phillip Brooks Jr?" He asked, his tone solemn. The question was innocent enough, yet loaded with significance. He knew it was cowardly to ask her with her back turned, but it was easier than staring into those wide brown eyes.

The mug that she had been holding clattered in the sink and broke, his question startling her. She felt his gaze on her back, like a knife between her shoulder blades. Her lungs seized; panic clutching at her as her stomach rolled. She gripped the rim of the counter tightly, staring down at the broken pieces of pottery now strewn in the sink. How had he found out? Had Nessa told him, even though she had promised her that she never would? That it was her place and hers only to do so?

When she felt as if she could breathe again, she slowly turned to face him. It took another deep inhalation of air before she could lift her gaze from the floor. When her eyes finally met his she felt paralyzed, rooted to the spot.

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart_

_That's still beating_

She struggled to marshal her wits, her explanation, her excuses. His question had taken her completely off guard. She had not been prepared to talk about this now, tonight and not with him. Maybe not ever with him, she corrected. She had thought the time - and opportunity - for this conversation long past.

"How- how-" She stammered awkwardly, her eyes flitting back to his. His nearness was disturbing, his touch even more so. She stepped back from him and felt slightly calmer. Searching her mind for what to say she moved away yet again and sat down at the table.

He watched her, finding her reaction unnerving. She appeared to be shocked, almost distraught. His own anxiety and fear spiked upward.

Taking a deep breath she spoke, her voice hushed in the small room. "Did Nessa mention . Phillip?" The last part of the question came out an octave lower, almost on a hitched breath.

"No, she didn't." Looking at her with genuine concern, he waited apprehensively.

Her mind whirled. She thought this day would never come. That she'd never need to tell him, especially since so much time had passed and he had moved on from her. Her eyes closed.

"April?" he asked softly.

"How." She paused, licking her lips nervously as her fingers curled into her palms, "did you find out?"

Shadows flickered through his eyes as he considered what he should say. Should he tell her the truth? He had vowed to be honest with her. He glanced at the floor, at the counter then back at her face. When he spoke, the single word was pronounced low, his voice restrained. "Your diary."

A flash of anger passed over her face, her eyes stormy when she opened them again to look at him. Of course it would somehow figure that her thick pages of a dairy would find its way to him and out about her most precious and painful memory and find some way to use it against her. She had probably even thrown it gleefully in his face as he read line after pain-filled line.

Biting back her anger, she focused her attention on Phil who was staring at her intently with an almost fearful expression on his face. He deserved the truth. He'd asked for the truth. She would tell him. She could do that much. She sighed then, a faint almost negligible sigh encompassing a wealth of experience in dealing with pain and heartbreak.

"Phillip Brooks Jr was my-" Her voice was a soft whisper as long repressed memories began to surface in her mind. "He was our baby. Yours and mine." She hadn't allowed herself to think about it for so long now; if the memory weren't so vivid she would almost question whether it had all been a dream. But she knew, much like the scar on her body, it was real. It had happened and it had been agonizing on best days.

Even though he had mentally prepared himself for it, the words struck him like a blow. He leaned heavily on the counter behind him, his mind ceasing to function. He could only stare at her, unable to form any words, ask any of the dozens of questions clamoring in his thoughts.

"I-I lost him." She continued quietly, looking down at the table and tracing a small pattern with her fingers.

As if moving in slow motion, he stepped forward and pulled the chair around the table to sit next to her. He reached out and took her hand, holding her small hand in both of his. His thumbs stroked soothingly over the back of her hand as he waited for her to continue.

At his gentle touch, tears began to well in her eyes. Tears of sadness for the child she had wanted so very much, tears of grief that she had never shared with anyone. Even the cold spell that protected her heart hadn't completely touched the love she had felt for her tiny baby.

Swallowing hard, her voice a hushed whisper, she continued. "They said it was a miscarriage."

"I didn't know at first. That I was pregnant. Not for a while really." She felt as if the words were coming from a distance, as if it were not her story that she was telling but someone else's. She had never talked about this with anyone but Nessa, too leery of exposing such a deep and painful wound to anyone else.

"After you and I- After we-"

"Made love." He finished for her, his hand squeezing hers gently.

"Yes. After that night." She whispered, her eyes meeting his for a moment before dropping back to stare at her hand engulfed in his.

"I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating. I was beyond stressed." She looked away, out of long-standing habit when it came to talking about those months.

"Well, you know what those months were like." She lifted one shoulder in a small shrug, "And I-I didn't really even consider the possibility that it could be anything else, that I could be pregnant."

"My mom would never have been able to deal with it. She was having enough trouble coping with the fact that her youngest daughter, her perfect little ballerina was no longer a virgin." she continued with a sad, brittle little laugh and shook her head. "She would really have lost it if I had told her that I was expecting her first grandchild in March, whose father just happened the same man whom she hated."

He remembered Sophia's and oblivious bubble that she lived in for so long where April was concerned and he frowned in disapproval. Of course, his own conversation with the woman had simply added to the convincing arguments of why he should leave New Jersey, why he should leave April.

"Tell me what happened."

She withdrew her hand from his, laughing trying to mask the searing pain threatening to consume her from the inside out "Haven't you read my diary? It`s all there in all its glorified details"

"Please. I know it`s a lot I am asking from you. Reliving those days you`d rather forget. But I want to know" _I need to know. P_ain constricting his chest. He wasn't sure he'd be able to hear this, but he had to know.

She looked at him, the desperation in his voice and eyes begging her to talk, to walk him through those darkest days of her young life. To help him understand.

_It`s his kid too. He lost his baby too._

She sat back at the table, keeping a good distance apart from him. She needed to detach herself from him to be able to tell him what had happened.

"Like I said, I didn't know for the longest time. Nessa had just found out she was expecting a baby from Liam who deployed before we left. The nagging suspicion of missing my periods, getting sick and being a mopey weepy mess was at its fullest when I tried a test on a whim. Imagine my surprise when it came back positive."

He could imagine. Eighteen, alone and pregnant. "I didn't know what to do. I was two and half months along when I went to a Dr to make sure I was having a baby. I wanted so much to go look for you and tell you. But I wasn't allowed out of the house, with so many wrong people still asking around, trying to square things off with my father."

She took a deep breath, taking in his anguished face and closed eyes " I managed to go back to New Jersey by the New Year`s Eve. I was almost 6 months pregnant. Huge as a house considering how small I am. He`s going to be such a big baby. I wasn't in NJ very long." her voice cracked, her emotions surging as she struggled to tell him the rest of the story, "before I lost the baby."

His eyes opened, his heart squeezing at the sound of her voice "I spent the day asking around, if anyone heard anything about the ROH crew, anything to help me contact you and tell you. But you were gone"

"I waited months for you to come back April"

She nodded. She knew that and couldn't blame him for moving on "My back was killing me, and so were my feet. I haven't felt the baby be so quiet like he was that day. I went to your old apartment, convinced him to let stay just for the night before I went back home. The super was kind enough to agree"

_I'm hanging on another day_

_Just to see what you will throw my way_

_And I'm hanging on to the words you say_

_You said that I will be okay_

She remembered vividly what had happened, how she withered on the blankets in pain, her future forced its way out of her womb "I don't know what went wrong. What I did wrong" her voice was getting thick with strangled tears. He rose from his chair, kneeling in front of her, taking her trembling hands in his "They said a bunch of medical stuff but all I understood was the baby was dead, inside of me, that I had to deliver its dead body"

He fought to quell the waves of nausea churning his stomach, as he was nearly sick with anger and despair. At the anguished moan, he reached out and gathered her in his arms, pulling her to his lap. She didn't resist him, just settled in his arms with her face pressed against his neck. He buried his face in her hair and took an unneeded breath as she relaxed against him, her eyes filling with tears.

Rage, desolation, guilt all swept over him, nearly choking him, his mind nearly unable to comprehend what she must have endured

"I was just over 5 months along so technically." she continued, her voice sounding strangely distant. "it was a premature birth, not a miscarriage."

"I'm sorry, sweet, so very sorry." he soothed, rocking her gently and kissing her brow.

"I-I I buried him in NJ. They said I didn't have to. That normally in situations like that the baby is just destroyed." Her voice hitched with her tears and she took another gulping breath. She had wanted her baby so desperately; it was a part of Phil, the only part of their love that she would have been allowed to have, to keep. "But I just couldn't let them do that." She earnestly pleaded, as if begging him to understand.

Silently he grieved, his own tears threatening.

"He would have been so beautiful. Dark hair, green eyes. Just like you." Once more her voice hitched and a tear slid down her cheek and dropped on the dark silk of his shirt.

"Yes, love, he would have been beautiful."

_Left me here alone_

_I may have lost my way now_

_I haven't forgotten my way home_

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	19. Chapter 19

_Today could've been the day  
That you blow out your candles  
Make a wish as you close your eyes  
Today could've been the day  
Everybody was laughin'  
Instead I just sit here and cry_

"I wanted to tell you, I did, but" Her voice was low as she murmured softly against the cool skin of his neck, "You were gone." Her words felt rushed, trembling past her lips in a rush to get the out. They were a dead weight over her heart for the past seven years, smothering her breath, bringing her down, sucking the life out of her. By small degrees she learned to live with the ache, learned how to cope with the loss. Time helped her to heal, although she felt forever changed.

"I'm so sor-" He squeezed his eyes tightly then opened them to look down at her, placing a kiss gently on the top of her head.

"I thought you would blame me. I had nightmares that you`d be mad , hate me" She continued as if he hadn't spoken, "God knows I blamed myself enough. If only I would have taken better care of myself. If only I had known earlier ,our baby would still be alive."

Having spent nearly his entire lifetime keeping emotions at bay, he wasn't able to expose the extent of his distress. The baby would have been his first son.

"I am so sorry I couldn't keep him alive"

Gathering her in his arms he stood and carried her down the hall to her room. He settled on the bed, covering her gently with the comforter, then shrugged out of his coat and lay down next to her, gathering her in his arms. She buried her face against the solid wall of his chest and gave in to her grief. He held her in silence while tears escaped her lashes with increasing frequency and trailed down her cheek. He had no words to console her, no platitudes sufficient to ease the pain she must have felt. He only had 'I am sorry' to tell her over and over again. Sorry she had to go through it, sorry for not being there and sorry he even put her in that situation. If only they used protection that night, if only he was careful, maybe she would have been spared all of what she went through. He had been so wrapped up in her and his bubbling feelings for her that he simply forget and now he was paying for his neglect. It was worse, she was paying in spades and would always pay for his mistakes.

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry, so very sorry." He whispered softly, kissing her gently on the forehead and cuddling her close as his own tears welled in his eyes. A single tear rolled down his face, dropping onto her cheek and merging with her own. That small touch unleashed the torrent of tears that she had kept buried deep inside for seven long years. Her muffled sobs warmed his skin; the wetness of her tears soaking the dark shirt that he wore.

He clutched her close, his anguish and rage so strong, but he held his breath and tried not to shake. She was shaking enough for both of them. Guilt was slowly choking him, his lungs felt burning as if he had been holding his breath under water for the longest time.

He settled in the bed getting comfortable, allowing her to nestle softly in the cage of his arms wrapped securely around her, content to hold her and not wanting to disturb the tranquility of her sleep when she finally dropped off after the exhaustive emotional disclosures in the night.

Her breathing was even now, hitching slightly every once in a while. Her flushed cheeks held traces of her tears that had yet to dry. Carefully and softly, his thumb swiped them away, his first small smile for the day as she sniffled and burrowed closer, her hand clutching at the fabric of his shirt. Even in her troubled sleep, she sought him out as an anchor in her storm. It gave him hope despite the bleak situation they were in.

Just maybe they could be salvaged. Maybe these two broken, jaded people could heal.

Maybe just maybe they would be allowed to have a second chance.

Maybe it was their time to be happy.

_Who would you be?  
What would you look like  
When you looked at me for the very first time  
Today could've been the next day of the rest of your life_

_Her eyes fluttered open, shutting them back just as quickly to keep the bright rays of sunshine from blinding her. Putting a hand to shield her eyes, it took her a few seconds to get used to the new lightening, the shadows disappearing as more of the room became visible to her questioning eyes. She was no longer in her small apartment that was for sure, the bed long gone and there was no Phil around._

_She got up to her feet, noticing for the first time the heavy weight around her midsection. She stifled her gasp of shock, hand flying to her mouth, trembling. Tears prickled her eyes as she reached slowly, almost afraid to touch it. A strangled gasp was ripped from her as her hand settled over the hard bulge that contained her precious little one. A broken sound caught between a laugh and anguished cry as she felt the fluttering movements under her hand, a sign on of a healthy and alive baby._

_Her baby was alive._

_Philip was alive._

_"Oh baby, mommy missed you so much. I kept waiting for you to be alive again. I would have waited forever. I don't have to anymore. You`re here and mommy is not letting you go again" Her arms crossed protectively over her stomach, ready to ward off anything that would threaten to hurt her little one._

_"Lets go find daddy. He`ll want to say hi"_

_She walked tentatively, glancing around her with growing trepidation. The street was frighteningly familiar, the same New Jersey street that lead to the warehouse that had tormented her dreams for months. She ran her hand over the large mound that was her stomach, feeling her baby kick as if he too were aware that they should not be there. Glancing over her shoulder, she picked up her pace and turned the corner._

_Immediately she knew that she had made a mistake, that she should not be in this darkened alley. She was standing infront of the old building where Phil lived when he was in NJ. Where she lost her bab... now where she thought she lost the baby. Her hand on her swollen belly with their unborn child confirmed it._

_"Phil?" She whispered tentatively in the dark. She clutched a hand over her fluttering stomach and ventured forward into the darkness of the alley. Something glinted in the dark and she looked down to see the star charm necklace that Phil had always worn. The length of the chain was covered in blood._

_She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Her babe kicked again, harder this time. The sounds behind her were growing louder and she glanced over her shoulder in panic._

_Behind her a laugh sounded and she whirled around. "The low life man that fathered your bastard offspring is roasting in hell where he belongs!" She knew that voice all so well and it called out to her, although the visage of her father was nowhere to be seen._

_Clutching her stomach with one hand, she turned and ran. A hand swiped her back, reaching for her. In the next moment, a something leapt on her back sending her sprawling to the hard ground. She put one hand over stomach as she fell, the other out to brace her fall, her first instinct to protect her unborn child. She screamed._

_In a blinding flash, the alley disappeared and she found herself looking around trying to see what was happening and where she was. Out of instinct her hand went to her belly to assure her baby of her presence, that she was there with him. Her hand came in contact with air._

_"No.. no.. nonononon... Noooo" her screams were fruitless, not one of the people around her paid her any attention as she crumbled to the floor, rocking back and forth, shaking her head, 'no' slipping hurried for her trembling mouth as she cupped her empty stomach now, not noticing the plain golden wedding band._

_A small shadow appeared in front of her and she lifted her teary eyes, her heart twisting as she saw a pair of curious green eyes staring at her._

_"Why are you crying mommy?" the question so innocent and evil as it twisted the spiked grasp around her heart, until she gasped for breath. "Mommy?" the words were now frightened as the little boy was mistaking her for his mother "It`s Philip" his lower lips trembeld much like her own before he threw his small arms around her neck, burying his face in her neck, seeking safety "I am sorry mommy, please don't forget me"_

_Her son was born, alive and holding her. That was the only thing she could think of. She wrapped her own weak arms around him, inhaling in his sweet smell, trying to commit it to memory, remember his baby smell for the first time she held him._

_Easing him back she took in his lovely features. Pale skin like his father, green eyes and dark hair. Phillip was the spitting living image of Phil. She could see herself in him. Cheeks, nose and lips that boy was hers just as much as he was Phil`s._

_"Oh Phil, sweetie. Mommy could never forget you" His small hand reached to swipe some of the tears away, smiling brilliantly showing a missing teeth gap in his mouth"Come on silly, we`re about to cut the cake"_

_He dragged her through a kitchen and out into a backyard. The tall willow trees danced with the breeze, the sun warming the many guests filling the spacious green space. They came to a stop infront of a table filled with cakes, sweets and drinks. Another one filled with gifts was near it._

_Strong arm wrapped around her shoulders, startled she looked as Phil came holding a small bundle nestled high on his shoulder. The pink blanket wrapped around the small body, the name knitted on the edge. She fingered it 'Ella'._

_"Come on mommy, lets blow the candles together"_

_She picked the small boy, leaning over the burning candles ready to blow them._

_"Shouldn't you make a wish first kiddo?"_

_The sound of her father`s voice snapped her from the happy thoughts, she glared at him then went back to the boy she held. The cake had his smiling face as they blew the candles. She set the boy on the ground, taking the knife to start cutting the cake._

_As she let the knife cut through, dark red liquid started to bubble through. This was not the ordinary cherry sauce. Soon enough the smiling face of Philip was swimming in blood._

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose  
Such a ray of light we never knew  
Gone too soon, yeah_

She screamed in her sleep and sat up in the bed, clutching her stomach in an anguished cry. In the next instant she rolled out of the bed and ran for the bathroom, nausea overwhelming her.

Beside her, hd came instantly awake, he reached out for her, only to find her gone. He panicked, swinging his legs over the bed and coming to his feet, his gut knotted in fear.

He heard her then, retching in the bathroom. He shook his head to clear the remnant of the troubled sleep and moved quickly toward the sound. Kneeling beside her, he swept her hair back from her face with one hand, his other hand splaying across her stomach tenderly to soothe the convulsing spasms.

She gasped and heaved until she was deathly pale, her eyes liquid with fear and dread. When the dreadful contractions ceased, he lifted her gently in his arms and sat her on the edge of the tub. She looked up at him gratefully as he handed her a glass of water and a cool towel.

"I'm sorry," She croaked, her throat raw. Color was returning to her cheeks, easing his fears somewhat.

Shaking his head in negation, he brushed back a few damp tendrils of hair from her face, his eyes studying her intently. "Are you OK?"

"Yes. I just. it was just a nightmare." She replied softly, closing her eyes and willing away the disturbing images. For the first time since it happened, she actually saw her baby. It was always with her swollen belly or the grey disoriented image of him in her womb. For the first time she saw him.

She pushed past him gently, rubbing her fingers as the familiar jolt swept through her and from the look on his face he had felt it too. Her hand shoved clothes in her bad, enough for an overnight visit.

Confused he followed her, watching her pack clothes. Where was she going? He put a hand atop of hers to stop her "What are you doing? Where are going?"

"I am going to New Jersey. I have to see.. I am going to visit.." her voice lowered as she looked at him, begging him to let her do this.

"Alright. I am coming with you. I want to visit him too"

_Would you have been president?_  
_Or a painter, a author or sing like your mother_  
_One thing is evident_  
_Would've give all I had_  
_Would've loved you like no other_

He looked around at the dark mist-covered cemetery shrouded in silence. The orange glow of the street lights behind him cast shadows along the wall as a mangy calico cat prowled through the grass in search of prey.

After several minutes of contemplation, they stepped forward. Only a sliver of the moon shone in the deep blue sky, casting a faint silvery light through the gloom as they moved carefully through the graves and tombstones toward the back of the cemetery.

Slowly, she knelt down and reverently brushed her fingertips over the simple stone plaque marking the tiny grave. The name_Philip Brooks Jr_ was engraved in the gray stone just below a small Celtic knotwork design cross. Beneath the cross in neatly scripted letters the stone read:

_Philip Brooks Jr  
My Angel_  
_Beloved son, left this world too soon._  
_Will ever leave my heart._

She closed her eyes as she placed the white camellia stems that she carried on her son's grave.

He knew that April would barely have made enough money to support herself and yet somehow she had managed to bury their baby in a proper grave. He could only guess, but he suspected that it look her several years to earn enough money to pay for it. His heart ached for her, for what she had been forced to endure alone.

Opening his eyes, he once again brushed his hand over the cool stone.

She had named their son after him.

"I saw you. Mommy saw you Phillip"

Grief rose up within him, filling him as she repeated those words. Tears filled his eyes.

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you  
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose  
Such a beautiful life we never knew  
Gone too soon  
You were gone too soon, yeah_

Brushing the tears from her cheeks, she took one last look at the stone grave. Smiling as her eyes settled on a concrete angel cherub resting under the large oak tree. She stood, brushing the dirt from her dark jeans, tightening her jacket around her to ward off the nippy breeze of NJ. She stood in the back, allowing Phil his own moment to say goodbye to the son he would never get to hold in his arms.

She felt lighter after her visit to her son`s grave, as if the huge weight of his death was lifted to allow her to breath easier.

The sound of crunching leaves caused her to turn her head, looking as Phil came to stand in front of her, his own jacket curving around his jaw to keep him warm. For the first time in seven years they were standing in front of one another, with no more secrets between them, no more hatred, anger and hurt caught between them.

There was understanding, respect and compassion. He no longer looked like he wished her dead and out of his life. And she could no look him in the eyes, knowing he knew everything there is to know.

They've both dealt with their ghosts and faced their demons. Content with a past they both wished they could change but will learn from, grow from and heal from.

They had to lose everything to find peace. Losing her innocence, the baby, each other.

"So"

"So"

"What we do now?" she asked the question burning through his mind from the drive to get to the cemetery What now? what were they? where do they go from here "Start over?"

He pulled his hand from the warmth of his pocket, curving it around her shoulder to tug her closer. He rested his forehead against hers, adoring how short she still was compared to his towering height.

"We don't start over. We go on to a brand new chapter"

_And not a day goes by  
That I don't think of you_


	20. Chapter 20

_Heart beats fast_

_How to be brave_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall_

_But watching you stand alone_

_All of my doubt_

_Suddenly goes away somehow_

"Come on. It`s all about forgive and forget"

"Forgive sure. Forget, well never. You really made me feel like crap"

Across the small table, he reached out; covering her small hand in his larger one. He waited for her brown eyes to look up into his "I know that and I can`t apologize for it enough. Even if he`s like a brother to me, I shouldn't have agreed to do it"

"It`s ok. I guess I underestimated his seven years worth of anger and hate"

"I`ll only say this because I don`t want to open old wounds right before this. I like this to remain fun and shit rather than sniffing crying fest" he fiddled with a couple of buttons, checking over wiring and headsets.

"Say what?" she took a sip of the dark liquid, tucking one leg underneath her as she settled in the plush leather chair.

"He doesn't hate you. I don`t think that`s even remotely possible for him to feel. His anger is masking something deeper, something he didn't want you to see. How much it hurts when you left. When you left him behind"

It twisted tight, rolling, before settling like a dead weight in the pit of her stomach, heavy enough to send her to the ground had she not been sitting. She knew he must have felt something over her leaving. Had she unknowingly underestimated the level of the feelings between them? She knew she was in love with him. It wasn't a teenage crush, nor an infatuation. She, April, was in love with him, Phil.

_Was? as in not anymore?_

She didn't realize she referred to it as being in love with him in past tense. Was it truly over? Did they miss their chance and being friends was all they could be? all they were meant to be?

_No!_

Even though she remained silent as Scott, known to people as Colt, continued to work around the equipment, the two letter word was echoing loudly inside her skull, threatening to deafen her. They were no where near over. No where near done and certainly were not 'just friends'.

The night at their son`s grave was still itched perfectly in her brain. The pain and anguish of that gloomy night was strong enough to cripple her as she knelt, her jeans stained with the damp dirt, but she didn't care as she grieved her loss, as she found a closure to her pain. Her baby boy will always be a part of her, even if the scar on her body faded under the tattoo, his image in her horrible nightmare would always haunt her, remind her of what could have been and what will not be. And he had stood beside her, mourning for a son he`ll never know, hold or rock to sleep.

_"We don't start over. We go on to a brand new chapter"_

_One step closer_

Those were his words as they finished letting go of the horrible memory, content to remember the innocent life that was gone too soon as an angel watching over them, living inside their hearts as life continued around without him. That was a month ago, and spring rolled into town, the trees blossomed, sun was warm and the grass was greener and the change of weather brought a change in their relationship. The ice between them was thawing as awkward phone calls became less than a check up and more about sharing the day`s events. More and more the calls became longer, more intimate as he warmed up to her presence more and more, as he slowly but surely accepted her back in his life, while he didn't leave hers ever.

The Phil she first met in that comic con was different from the one heading home in a few hours. He had been so cold without saying a single word that day. It hadn't been needed. The ice of his olive turned grey eyes in anger was enough to shatter her from way across the parking lot. The Phil after the day in the graveyard was as close to the one she knew as a teenager, close enough to the man who caught her mid air in her dance and the man who worshiped her virgin body like a temple. At that moment in time, she forget she was leaving, she forget everything. There was only him. Only her and only them.

_I have died everyday waiting for you_

_Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

"Hey guys. This is the 140th episode brought to you by High Spots 'dot' com. A place for DVDs, masks, action figures and pretty much everything a wrestling nerd would and could possibly have a 'special' dream about. Now lets enjoy this show shall we. Sit tight, put on your ear buds because this is Art Of Wrestling podcast. Your humble host Colt Cabana, and joining me today is a good friend of mine. One that had her share of adventures in the world of professional wrestling. Good to have you...?"

"April. Getting used to using it after going as Jean for so long"

"Wasn't Jean like your favorite super hero or something? Anyways April is better known as Jean Lee. A professional ballerina. I can practically hear them ask 'Why the fuck am I having a flying tutu on my show?"

"Well I watched a lot of wrestling as a kid, still do-"

"Worked as a wrestler too."

"Hardly wrestled, just manged your sorry ass for a couple of shows"

"People are just salivating to get up close with my ass"

"I actually would like to keep my food down"

"Ha. I bet he took you to Bacino`s.. ah I see the guilt seeping out from your pores.. girl up and admit it. That fucker mucker did it on purpose"

"I have no idea who`s the mother fucker you`re referring to"

"Ahh and she curses like a sailor. Knew you had it in you kid. Under all that tutu, buns and men in tights, you`re just a native New Jersey girl, who hanged with a bunch of dirty old wrestlers."

"I am easily influenced"

"Hahah.. I apologize for snorting like a pig you guys..So before we start our lovely session. Everyone wants to know. How are you finding Chicago?"

"Well it`s windy.. but that`s like duh.. I explored little of the city in the two days I've been here. But I like it so far, even if you are in it"

"Ouch baby girl. It stings somewhere around here where a ball of pumping meat is supposed to be. What`s your story? How did you get into the world of sweaty men in underwear?"

"I was maybe seven or eight when my brother was forced to babysit me. As the family`s accident on legs, he stayed close to me. I sat down watched Macho Man win the WCW World Title in the first ever 60-Man Battle Royal. That was it. I was hooked and the rest was history."

"A Randy Savage gal.. impressive.. So I am guessing wrestling and ballet went hand in hand.. how did you know you wanted this as a career over the other? was there like those light bulb scenes and you were like 'fuck I want to do this and to hell with anyone'"

"Ballet was something I wanted to do for what seemed like forever. At times wrestling seemed like a darn good alternative to this pink dream. I mean having next to nothing, barely making payment on mortgage and rent, being a wrestler was a perfect replacement. But I realized while wrestling was an addiction. Dancing was in my blood and stop being an ass"

"Whaat? I am not allowed to cry over your sob story. I thought I said no angsty..."

"You asked"

"I wish I didnt"

"..*heavy breathing*.."

"You`re not going to scratch my eyes out are you?"

"You`re a lousy host"

"Worse than Punk?"

"Haha..not gonna fall for that. I am promised dinner if I behave today"

"You backstabbing traitors. I feel left out"

"Drama queen"

"Wrestlemania. Plan to attend?"

"I plan my year around it. It`s just _the_ event of the year"

"A hybrid of ballerina and a wrestler. Comics and Video games. You`re like every man`s dream. Marry me"

"Hardly. Prudish, nerdy, and blubbering mess and no. I am married to my career"

"Shhhh... hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The sound of hearts breaking"

"Flattery will get you no where. I am not sharing my food"

"Am I that obvious?"

"The drool was a dead giveaway"

"You`ll be my lab rat. We`ll play a game. I say a word or sentence and you tell me one sentence/word whatever in response. Foul language is encouraged"

"Alright. Hit me"

"John Cena"

"In need of a gimmick makeover"

"Pickles"

"Spicy pickles"

"Pokemon shirts"

"Proud owner of three"

"Coca Cola"

"Pepsi"

"CM Punk"

"Best In The World"

"Damn that dinner must be really worth it"

"Promise me food and I`ll sing you praises till ears bleed"

_And all along I believed I would find you_

_Time has brought your heart to me_

_I have loved you for a thousand years_

_I'll love you for a thousand more_

"... I am sure I`ll get demands to have you again. Me, you and Punk and hell will break loose"

"Thanks for having me here. Was fun despite your lame ass jokes and digs"

"Haha.. just think you`ll enjoy them more over dinner. This was Colt Cabana from Art Of Wrestling. Peace. Out"

They sit the headsets on the table, and Scott worked around on his equipment a bit as she stood up to stretch her legs. The knock on the door startled them and they both looked to the doorway. The brilliant grin on his face was blinding, causing her to smile back unconsciously. Him being happy automatically meant she was happy. Action and reaction.

He crossed over to her, his tired body filled with renewed energy as she stepped in the cradle of his arms, hugging her small body close to his.

_Friends are NOT supposed to feel this good._

And she did, so very much. His body remembering every counter, dip and sensual curve from night that seemed so far away.

_You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Real love isn't brains, children. It's blood. It's blood screaming inside you to work its will._

You would think he`d have forgotten endless nights watching reruns of Buffy and Angel with a teenage girl whom you`re trying so much not to kiss.

"Hey" her breath tickled his skin, and the urge to shiver was hard to resist.

_Yup. Friends don't affect you that much. Now man up and ask her._

He eased back, glad Scott left them alone for the time being. Keeping his arms around her, he looked at her, stomach doing flip flops at how beautiful she was. He removed her black glasses, smiling as the confusion marred her face.

"Would like to go out with me?"

He waited what seemed like forever when infact it was a second or two.

"But we are going out silly"

"No. Would you go out on a date? with me?"

_One step closer_


	21. Chapter 21

_We're both looking for something_  
_We've been afraid to find_  
_It's easier to be broken_  
_It's easier to hide_

She let out a frustrated cry before falling back on the bed atop of a heap of shirts, jeans, a skirt and a lonely black dress. Childishly, she felt her eyes sting with the beginning of tears.

When was the last time she felt this down?

_Never?_

And the thought surprised her. She had been on dates before, granted not much as she got older, but she had her fair share of dates with good looking guys. So why was this any different?

Was it because it was the first date she went on since three years?

or was it because who was taking her out?

She was still grasping over the fact that he had asked her out on a date. Not a casual dinner between friends or people trying to be just friends. A date. A situation where a guy takes a girl he likes to a place where non-just friends conversion occur over dinner. And a girl saying yes to the offer of a night filled with giddy smiles and blushing cheeks it meant she liked him back.

She liked Phil. Well ok so not like. She was in love with him.

And he liked her.

And now after long awaited and overdued eight years of crushing on him, falling in love with him, giving her untouched body to him and leaving him, they were going out on a date.

A date with him. Pretty much a situation dreamed about endlessly through out her teenage years during the time he wrecked havoc all over NJ and her heart.

And she had no clue what to wear. All because when he invited her out to show her Chicago as a friend of course, she had no idea that this would happen. So she packed casually and now she had less than an hour to get ready with little to no possibility to go shopping.

And she had no idea where they were going. Was it just dinner? Did he have something else in mind? So many torturous questions and no answer in sight and she was too nervous to ask him. A question she should have asked sooner, sooner as in right after he asked her last night. Their dinner plans for last night remained the same with the exception of having Scott and another friend too. A fun group night out and all she could think about was the next day`s date. Alone. Him and her. A date.

A frickin` date.

"And breathe girl.. breathe" she inhaled greedily, filling her lungs before letting the air in a rush, feeling some of the tension disappear. With a better grip on her wayward emotions, her jumbled thoughts began to settle and she had a clear head..sorta.. in a way..

She stood up, facing the bed and her now 'ugly' clothes. A quick glance at the clock, and now she had thirty minutes to get ready. Thirty minutes to look presentable. Thirty minutes to impress him.

_Looking at you, holding my breath,_  
_For once in my life,I'm scared to death,_  
_I'm taking a chance, letting you inside._

The golden round plate with '210' on it assured him he was at the right door. So why he was hesitating to knock?

Unsure, he looked down down on his black sneakers. Had he told her to dress casual? For the life of him he couldnt remember if he did. What if she was in a stiff formal dress, expecting him to be in a monkey suit and a tie?

_You are over thinking this way too much._

This was April. What are the chances of her packing a formal dress to her trip here? The worse it could be might be a skirt and heels.

His closed fist rapped on the wooden door in three quick sharp knocks and waited. 10 breaths and 25 heartbeats later, the soft 'click' filled his sharp focused ears and the brown door opened and there she stood.

Shy, flustered and biting her full lower lip, she looked so irresistible standing in the doorway. He let his eyes wander over her, from the top of her curled mahogany looks, sparkling dark brown eyes, thick black eyelashes brushing her cheeks teasingly for a fleet second as she lifted her gaze from the floor to his face.

The corners of his lips pulled back and a smile broke out. Not smug, arrogant nor smirking; it was a soft genuine one. One reserved only to her.

He still knew her. A random reminder yet held so much truth to it. He still knew April.

Despite the years apart and the things she`s been through, she was still the same yet so different. Probably two inches taller, couple of pounds heavier and less baby fat from her young face but she was familiar, someone from a past and times he wished he could return to.

"Hey" frowning and making a silly face, he cleared his throat. His voice came out gruff and low, as if he was trying to seduce her.

_Was that bad?_

"Hey back" her voice matched his. Her eyes bright and the hallway lights cast a glow on her dusky golden skin. He was fascinated with the healthy rosy tinging to her cheeks.

_She was seducing him with her innocence. _

A thing he appreciated and happy it hadn't changed in her. She was the same young ballerina he knew, dancing in a corner in an old warehouse while he watched from across the floor. Losing a baby, being forced to leave and god knows what with her father, life hardened her, made her stronger but didn't diminish her spirit nor cost her the innocence, like a new born kitten you wanted to cuddle and protect.

A feeling that had not changed since he took it upon himself to walk her home at night.

She tried not to ogle him. Ok, she tried not to ogle him **a lot.**

The black leather jacket caressed his wide shoulders, long arms and ended on his narrow waist. The white t-shirt underneath hugged his lean torso, strong chest and flat stomach. He wasn't bulky or buff on hard muscles like Scott. He was soft, warm but held so much strength and power within him.

_Cuddle worthy._

"I hope this is ok" she motioned to herself and what she was wearing "I didn't know where we are going" She matched him, dressing close to identical to him. Dark jeans, dark long sleeved shirt and knee boots.

"It`s perfect. Just bring your jacket with you. I am not sharing mine" he teased her, enjoying the light air around them. No more secrets and no more blaming and hating. It was a nice change of pace from the first moments after their epic reunion.

_If she gets cold, you two can snuggle and share body heat. _A voice, suspiciously sounding like Scott, whispered the suggestion to him.

_Shut up!_

"You always this sweet to your dates or I should I feel special?"

"I am trying to be a gentleman. Come on April, appreciate the effort?" he followed inside when she waved him in, watching as unplugged her phone from the charger. The room was not super neat but not messy either. The bed was rumbled, a few articles of clothing strewn about.

"Don`t die trying too hard"

"Yup and I am too young to die"

She flashed him an annoyed grin yet the teasing glint in her eyes was bright. She enjoyed this aspect. The back and forth between them. The battles of endless wit so much like the beginning of their relationship yet the bite, heat and unresolved tension was gone and now replaced with giddiness, playful teasing and happiness.

She could breathe easier and he could look her in the eye.

_Feeling alive all over again,_  
_As deep as the sky, under my skin_  
_Like being in love, she says_  
_For the first time_

Asking her out on a date seemed like the natural next step in restoring their closeness and embarking on a new chapter of their life.

The outcome?

Complete and utter disaster.

So not what he expected.

He had this planned. Take her to a cozy, intimate restaurant maybe a little innocent and totally unintentional brushing of hands. Do the things they didn't get to do the first time around.

He was handed.. well he kinda made the second chance to rebuild the condemned bridge. And it was screwed right out of his hands.

The waitress kept annoying them, popping up when he was ready to bump his hand with hers.. accidentally of course... The murmurs of the few yet very focused crowd as he held the chair for her.

Lesson learned.

Don`t go out on a date where you are a local celebrity of sorts.

His mood was souring by the seconds and the scowl was beginning to break through the layers of the skin of his forehead.

For all of his dates to fail, his with April had to be the one.

_Fuck me. We are doomed._

_Maybe I'm wrong,_  
_But I'm feeling right where I belong_  
_With you tonight_  
_Like being in love_  
_To feel for the first time_

He took the first step in asking her out. She knew how hard that must have been for him and she loved him more for it... if that`s even possible.. Could she even love him more?

She sensed the hostile air around him due to what happened at the restaurant. How cornered and upset he felt as their quiet evening turned into stares, looks and uncomfortable conversation. He took the first and probably the hardest step forward. It was her turn to show him the same coursty. That she was very much interested in whatever is happening between them. The time for one sided actions was long gone. She was a part of 'this' s much as him and whether it ended or continued, she had to give an honest good try to be a part of 'this'.

What ifs and if onlys were hell to live. Regrets were a thing of the past.

They stood outside the restaurant, the night`s air becoming a little colder and she could see his olive green eyes stare into the distance, probably thinking if they should continue or call it a night and call it quits.

She made the decision for him. For them. This was her move.

Her small hand reached, slipping over his wrist, the slope of his palm before resting hers against it, her fingers slipping in the spaces between his and she waited.

Ball`s in his court now.

The movement caught his eye, and he watched her from the corner of his eyes watching him before she stepped closer to him. Her jacket brushed his, and warm soft skin brushed his skin, and the familiar jolt coursed through him and he did not feel quite as cold as before. The slight tremors he always associated whenever she dared to touch him were strong vibrations to his now focused senses. Everything he felt now was amplified in magnitude.

She was holding his hand... well she was asking him to hold hers, given the fact that her hand just rested against his intimately and had yet to intertwine their fingers and mesh them together.. but still...

When was the last time he put so much though of the idea of holding some girl`s hand?

He draped, he hugged, he groped, and he brushed but he rarely held a girl`s hand during a date.. a failed one too.

He was that pussy whipped who got her home after her first valet job. The one who followed her to her Halloween dance and the one who showed up feeling like a dork and actually was a part of a ballet piece just so he could help her. He was pussy whipped then and he was a pussy whipped grown ass man now.

He intertwined his long fingers with her small, thin fingers; their palms pressed flush with one another. Long quiet moments passed as he looked at the joined limbs, smooth golden flesh meshed with tattooed skin and they fit.

Opposites do attract.

_The world that I see inside you_  
_Waiting to come to life_  
_Waking me up to dreaming_  
_Reality in your eyes_

His eyes finally made it to hers and impatiently she let hers roam his face, looking, searching for things she only knew about. Her smile soft yet sure made her face light up and her eyes luminous and he couldn't help but join her even if he knew nothing about what caused this.

"What?"

"We`re having a moment" her voice hushed, barely a whisper as if she was afraid to ruin said moment.

"We are?" he whispered back, tugging their joined hand towards him, her body following turning to face him. They still stood outside the restaurant in the cold Chicago night, the street lamps casting a dim glow around them creating its own bubble for the skittish young lovers. His free hand lifted slowly and her eyes followed the movements as he moved stray stubborn strands behind her ear, hand grazing the many earnings she had, before it settled over her collarbone, his thumb dancing over her erratic pulse point.

Swarms of phantom butterflies invaded her, causing a coiling in her body and heating the blood to a boiling point in anticipation of the hooded look he was supporting.

How could she hurt this man who looked down on her with so much tenderness and adoration? How could she even begin to make it up to him? Was it even possible?

His lips burned her, branded her and almost had her buckling to the floor. They pressed to the corner of her lips, warm and moist they settled far away from what she wanted, needed and craved now.

She was going to woo Philip Jack Brooks.

Starting now.

Without warning she moved her face, catching his unsuspecting lips with her own and she stilled. She had once again made her move and he`ll either push her away or...

Slanting, he captured the warm plump flesh thoroughly with his; content to brush them back and forth sensually, not wanting to scare her with how much he wanted this, wanted her and wanted them.

Stepping fully into his lean frame, she curved her arm inside of his open jacket and around his waist. Easing back, he looked down at her; eyes blown black, lips thoroughly kissed and blushing cheeks.

"Is the moment over?"

"It just got started."

_We're crashing_  
_Into the unknown_  
_We're lost in this_  
_But it feels like home_

* * *

**Sorry it took long to update.**


	22. Chapter 22

His lips were soft under hers, but his hips were all the right kinds of hard.

He had missed her. He had missed her quick smile, the sound of her voice, her quiet acceptance of him, flaws and all. A week of not seeing her, touching her and feeling her was all too much for him. He thought of her always and needed her just as much. A week on the road doing shows and tapings and being away from her was too much. He had become so used to having her around that the thought of separating from her after his little weekend at her place was not setting well with him.

She tried to grit her teeth against the rhythmic sensation, but her whole body was happily ignoring her, heating up , igniting and burning. Her skin was tight… too tight for her body, which is maybe why she clutched at him a bit harder, pressed herself closer to him, why she made another one of those whimpers that threatened to have him turn them around pressing her into the couch, crawling atop of her, stepping into the cradle of her thighs, losing himself in her.

Weeks worth of flirtation, dating, wooing and what`s supposed to be innocent touches had finally accumulated to this. Time, planning and research, whole days of it. Who would have thought that romancing a man could be so complicated?

Romancing without using sex that is.

She did her research as soon as she got back from her little weekend at Chicago with him. She started with flowers and as much cheesy and corny as it sounded; she did it. Thanks to Scott who emailed her Phil`s schedule, she knew his shows and where he was going to be. She set out to send him a small arrangement. But apparently, some bored ass fools, in the middle ages, decided that they should create a language using flowers. She didn't want to send the wrong message, so she had to pick and choose what to include very carefully, in the end she had decided to send one type of flower a day along with a card explaining the meaning. She decided on a soft shade of yellow rose, spent hours trying to think of something to say on the card.

_Yellow roses speak of the friendship between me and you, the sort of foundation that exists in all loves most true. Short and sweet, and right to the point, I want you to know, that I need you._

He had called her after the show. She had seen how tired and wrung he looked on TV and her timing could not have been better. He sounded thrilled and she got the feeling that this was the first time someone chased him like that without using their body to their advantage. And so over the course of that week he had received a different flower along with a little note, enjoying chasing after him for a change.

_"What are you trying to do exactly?"_

_She laughed nervously, glad he couldn't see the blush starting to adorn her cheeks nor how she wrung her hands. Maybe she had over done it?_

_"Does it bother you that much?" She hated how her voice came out, how insecure she sounded._

_"No baby. I am enjoying them very much. It`s just I am not sure what are your motives here. Are you trying to hide something or distract me?" she flung herself on her bed, the smile too wide and bright. He called her baby. _

_"I am trying to woo you"_

_"Woo me?"_

_"Woo. To seek the affection of with intent to romance. To court"_

_"I know what woo mean smarty pants. Why would you woo me?"_

_She felt how little he thought of himself, how his self worth was not as he made out to be whenever he screamed best in the world every single night. As if he asked her 'why are you wooing someone like me?'_

_It made her stick by her decision with a renewed conviction. Everyone deserved to feel special, feel wanted and pampered, even men._

And that what she had done. A cooked meal at her place. Willingly going to a baseball game with him and actually enjoying herself, even if several sites had their picture together. And lastly going shopping on her own. Her last move in wooing one Phillip Brooks.

It was all non-sexual attempts to show him how much she cared about him, appreciated and well adored him to death and beyond.

At least that was her plan for that specific time frame.

Now.

She wanted the sex. A whole lot of it.

It wasn't just a physical need for release of tension and frustrations. Not to her and not when it came to him. She needed to feel him, Phil, in the most intimate way there is. She wanted to feel his hands roam her body, adding to her burning fire, a flame he ignited all those years ago and was still burning inside of her till now and will burn forever. A need to feel that strong heartbeat drumming against his chest as he lay atop of her waiting body. To feel him breathe fiery passionate words against her skin as he made her his again over and over.

The sound of a scream barely held any interest to them at the moment, both too busy trying to feel more of the other with a need so strong it was boarding on desperate. She felt him tug at the clip holding her hair up, broke the kiss regretfully; giving a seductive shake as the long curly locks tumbled down and passed her shoulders. She braced her arms on either side of him against the couch, caging him in the circle of her small arms.

His hands under her bottom brought her closer to him, settling completely over his lap and their bodies flush together like two pieces of a puzzle. Her soft curves molded to a perfection with his hard edges, her legs on either side of him. They sat in complete silence looking at each other as more screams came from the TV. The horror movie he picked out for their home date forgotten at the expense of much more desired activities.

"We could stop" she offered, her hips rotating over him.

"We could"

"But I don`t wanna stop ever" She purred the word; her voice already husky with desire as she turned her face up toward his, the tip of her tongue darted out to moisten suddenly dry lips.

Thoroughly captivated as he watched the trail her tongue took, he traced the same path with his own, then caught her lower lip between his, sucking on it for a moment before taking her mouth, leisurely, affectionately. As if he had all the time in the world. His lips drifting across hers, his tongue nudging at her lips, asking entrance before finding and lightly stroking hers, engaging in a teasing, titillating dance that seemed to go on forever. Time coming to a standstill as he stole her breath, her sanity, tried to possess her very essence with each kiss.

Eventually he left her lips to press butterfly kisses across her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her cheekbones. His touch filled with reverence, every kiss a declaration of his love and devotion. She moaned his name and combed her fingers through his short yet steadily growing hair; hair that he promised not to chop off bald like he did months ago, holding him to her, thrilled by his lavish display of affection. Arching up into him, she left herself vulnerable, her neck bared to him and drawing his gaze.

Not wanting any part of her to feel left out; he allowed his lips and tongue to wander down her body, enjoying her uninhibited response. His lips rediscovering the curve of her jaw, his teeth nibbling along the slender lines of her neck, drawing a strangled gasp from her at the amazingly exquisite sensation. He lingered at the hollow of her throat, then grazed his tongue down along the delicate flesh between her breasts as he loosened the buttons of her shirt.

She felt lost, adrift in a sea of passion, the tenderness and care he was showing her flooding through her, reassuring her that he did in fact love her. The material hung loosely off her body, his hands curving through the open shirt, holding her bare torso in his hands as his lips licked, kissed and nipped at the smooth flesh spilling out of her strapless black bra that plunged dangerously low, threatening that her beautiful full breasts would spill out with any wrong movement or a too deep of a breath.

The clasp at the front beckoned him to flick it loose, her eyes screamed and her body begged him to do it; free her flesh to his hands, eyes and lips to enjoy. He fingered it questionably, asking her for permission to take that last step towards a night almost seven years in the making.

Her small nod was an equivalent of a shouted yes. He took a deep breath, feeling like a teenager undressing his first girl. He hadn't been that nervous undressing her back then and she was a virgin too.

The shrill tune startled him and his hands dropped from her bra as if her father walked in on them. It took her a moment to hear it before she sighed, moaned and burying her face in his neck; letting out a whine, mumbling over his skin.

He handed her he phone watching her frown as she looked at the caller ID.

"What is it?"

"It`s Nessa. She never calls this late" A glance at his phone showed it was pushing past 11 P.M

"What`s up?"

_"Tia" His small scared voice wrapped around her heart and squeezed like a vice. The Spanish word frightened unlike how bright he`d make it on normal days._

"Delin?" His flew up to hers in surprise and confusion, remembering the little boy who he had mistakenly thought to be his. Why was he calling her this late. Had something happen..

"Where`s mommy?" She stood up from the couch, hands flying to button her shirt.

_"Mommy is keeping the bad man away" _

"What bad man?"She saw Phil stand up now, focused and worried as he stepped closer to hear what was going on.

_"He came and screamed. He broke a window and Nana is crying"_

"Where are you sweetie?" She let him turn off the TV as she went to get her jacket, coming back to find him already at the door, his car keys in hand as he waited for her to lock up the apartment.

_"I am in my closet"_

"Alright sweetie. I want you to stay there and don`t move okay. I am coming over"

_"Don`t leave me alone."_

"I won`t. I`ll keep talking to you until I get there okay baby"

_"Ok"_

* * *

"April wait"

He barely managed to turn off the car and follow her. The ride had been heavy with silence between them as she kept talking to Delin; assuring her little nephew she was coming for him. He could hear how thick her voice had become and he reached across the seat, grasping her cold shaky hand in his, squeezing firmly.

His head had been filled with millions of questions, scenarios and one fucked up glimpse after the other. What had happened? Absent father turning up all of a sudden, disturbing peace after going years unheard from.

He had to remind himself that he didn't know the man. All he knew was that awful fight he overheard, what April told him and what little the PI guy had found out, which was not much. He could only assume he wasn't there to beg forgiveness or see the family album.

And what worried him more was what kind of scene will they be walking in on. From Delin`s brief yet telling description, it was bad. Vanessa trying to do damage control, the mother crying and windows breaking. This was not good at all.

He curled his hand around her arm, feeling her body shake under his touch. She looked on the verge of tears, her eyes bright in the dark night. How he wanted to take her, shelter her from what was inside the small house and what was waiting for them behind the closed door.

"Let me go in first. You go get Delin. Alright?" he brushed her hair, hoping to soothe her, ease her fears a bit. She nodded, sniffing loudly; following him as he led the way.

The closer they got, the more they could hear the raised voices. The house was small, far enough from neighbors. A loud crash, followed by drunken laughter echoed in the night. He pushed her behind his large frame as he pushed the ajar door wide open, stepping away from the shreds of broken glass shattered on the hard floor.

A stifled gasp be her had him tighten his hold on her and he knew she saw them as well "Go upstairs" his voice controlled as he heard Vanessa scream at what he assumed to be the drunken father and the mother who believed that he`s a good man who`s just confused. When she didn't move to go, he turned, putting hands on her shoulders and her eyes jumped between looking at him and looking over his shoulders "Go be with Delin until his mum comes. He needs you now"

The soft words seemed to finally penetrate her overwhelmed senses "I don`t care what she says. Call the cops, we want a restraining order" he nodded, glad to hear her say what he wanted to be done and what should have been done a long time ago. Maybe this wouldn't have happened.

He watched her stumble over the stairs in her haste to get to the little boy who was still hiding in the closet. The horror of what he had witnessed would haunt him forever as it did him. Hiding in a closet as your drunk father roamed the house drunk, and while he didn't hit him or his mother, the experience was so horrible it was burned in his psych forever.

He walked to where the raised voices seemed to be coming from and he was glad he had sent her upstairs. Vanessa was crouching on the floor holding her mother`s body close to her and from where he stood he saw the how the flesh was marred, a swirl of red, yellow and purple combination that made the bruise forming around April`s mother face disgustingly hideous. And while he and her mother never saw eye to eye as she had ordered him away from her daughter, he was against lifting a finger to harm a woman.

"Phil thank god you`re here" it was Nessa that noticed him first, and he could see she didn't fare better. Her face wet with tears, eyes red and her body seemed to be having an endless shivering fit.

"Oh lookie here... " he walked closer to the man, almost reeling from the smell of alcohol. He grabbed him by the labels of his dirty worn jacket, intent on tossing him out and calling the police to arrest him.

"You think you can come rescue them..nooo nooo sir.. nope..this is my house too.." he shrugged him off "before the little whore threw me out" he wasn't looking at Nessa, so that left April. She was the one ballsy enough to do it.

He walked to him and Phil had the urge to step back, but that would show he was intimated or something "Be careful boy.. she`s damaged goods that grunt.. got knocked up and couldn't keep her baby.. her little bastard died as she should have died with him... no good worthle-" the word was cut off as a balled up fist flew, catching the older man in his jaw, the force knocking him to the ground, blood soon poured out from his mouth. He snatched him up, walking short steps before slamming him to the wall, using the power he concealed during his matches.

"That bastard was my son. You killed him the minute you took filthy money and sold your family. I will not forget that and I `ll never forgive you nor would April. Now I am saying this once you old fuck. Stay away from them. If I catch wind you breathed the same air as them I will personally rip out your heart and feed it to you as you die. You`ll leave the state better yet you would leave the whole country and go wither up and die alone with no one to take care of you on your death bed. You stay away from my family"

The house that was bombed with raised voices was dead quiet. Both Mother and daughter watched in silence as Phil tore the man they knew once as husband and father.

He dropped him in disgust, the pain of losing his son burning his stomach, and he watched him fall to the ground stunned. He turned around to the woman also on the ground huddled together "Nessa, go see your boy. April`s with him now"

He stood on the other side of Sophia, carrying most of her weight as they settled her on an armchair before the mother instinct of young Nessa had her running fast to get to her frightened son.

He and Sophia were so much alike that their personalities were bound to clash. They both loved April, wanted to protect her from the evil things and make sure she got the best there is. It was their way of love that had them clash so strongly. Sophia wanted to shelter her little girl from the world, keep her to her in the safety of her mother`s embrace. He had wanted that young girl to leave her shelter and be that fluttering butterfly that would live life to the fullest as he remained by her side to love and protect.

"Ma`am I know I am your least favorite person in the world but April told me to call the cops and put in a request for a restraining order and I fully support this decision. I thought I`d let you know"

He knew she was in shock over what happened so when she agreed over what he said yet the way her brown eyes looked at him, same brown eyes of the daughter he loved, he knew there was a shift in his relationship with her.

With all of them.

**20 minutes later:**

They now sat in the living room, content with silence in comparison to the deafening shouting of their father being led to a police car.

Delin was asleep in his mother`s lap, a blanket covering his small body. Nessa had her eyes closed, head leaning back on the couch, every now and then wiping tears that managed to escape her.

Sophia wandered in search of her other daughter. He had yet to talk to April and see how she was. With everything happening so fast, she had slipped by him and now she was somewhere over-thinking and blaming herself. He knew her.

"Let me take him for ya" he offered as he saw Nessa ready to lift the sleeping boy and put him to bed. He scoped him up in his arms, following her up the stairs, catching April and Sophia in the kitchen talking.

Had Philip Jr lived he would be as old as Delin was. The cruel twisted words of her father left a bitter taste in his mouth. How many times had she heard the same thing?

She got the brunt of them leaving and he got off scot free compared to her.

Walking down, he left mother and child to sleep and he went hunting for April. He found her with her mother still in the kitchen but they were embracing, a few tears slipping on her cheeks.

She saw him and she stepped out of her mother`s embrace, flying into his arms, her face burrowing in his chest as her hands circled his torso, hugging her body to his. His own came to circle her small body, drawing her closer to him, feeling her breathe deeply, shoulders sagging with relief.

She watched as her daughter tried to become one with the man she had tried to chase away from her. She saw how happy she had become since reconciling with him. He brought her back to life.

He saved her.

He made April happy thus making her happy as well.

* * *

**:)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Happy reading.**

* * *

_Baby come close let me tell you this_  
_In a whisper my heart says you know it too_  
_Baby we both share a secret wish_  
_And you're feeling my love reaching out to you_

His mouth was suddenly parched and he felt his heart practically leap from his chest. It felt tight, and he had the sudden panic that he wouldn't be able to breath. He'd seen and heard of enough heart attacks, but was this what it felt like?

He could vividly remember how they got to this moment right here, right now. He had drove them to her place after staying over with her mother for a few, making sure it was safe to go as the elder woman insisted they go home and that she`d be fine now he was behind bars for the night. Walking her to her door, he had millions of thoughts swimming in his head. What will happen now? Where do they go from here? And had he really called her family his?

Her small hands were gripping the bottom of his shirt in tiny fists, resting them against his abdomen. She was leaning her forehead on the hard planes of his chest, head bowed causing her hair to fall around her, a curtain of shiny curled locks. He felt frozen, more like floating from his body to hang above them watching as a deft hand snaked its way into her hair, until it curved around the back of her neck, holding her closer to him.

They were standing behind the couch, same one where less than three hours ago he was ready to unclasp her bra and turning to press her into the soft plush seat, seconds from crawling over her and spend what he knew to be an out of this world night in her arms. Ha had came up behind her as she stood; fingers picking at the loose threads of the quilt thrown on the back of the couch. He had settled his hands hesitantly, getting more confident when she didn't stiffen or tense from his touch. Circling her small waist, he took a step closer; his chest a solid pillar of support against her back. The comfortable silence that descended on them was cut off by her turning in his arms, her eyes staring directly at his chest, not meeting his eyes as her hands circled his forearms.

"Is it true?" her voice was low, hesitant and she finally risked a glance up to see his face.

First thing that came to him was what her father had said to him. Had she heard that?

_ "Be careful boy.. she`s damaged goods that grunt.. got knocked up and couldn't keep her baby.. her little bastard died as she should have died with him.."_

If she did, it would make sense for her to ask, to seek assurance of her self worth. Those cruel twisted words would damage a strong person. April was strong, so very strong but when it came to the subject of the boy they lost too soon, she was oh so very week, vulnerable like a new born kitty against attacks. He suspected this particular wound would never heal properly. How could one heal completely from the loss of a little precious life you carried, nurtured and loved for five months before you were forced to give it up, have the decision being taken out of your hands.

"Is what true?" he had brushed the hair away from her face, tucking it behind her pierced ear.

"What you said back at my mum`s. About.." she paused and he figured she needed time to collect her jumbled thoughts before continuing. When she remained silent, he had pushed her chin up by his index finger, waiting until her luminous brown orbs were revealed to him. He knew that both of them would always need of reassurance from the other. Him assured that she won`t leave like she did and her that he felt the same way about her, had felt the exact same way when he was a wrestler starting to pave his way and she a struggling dancer helplessly in love with him.

"About you being my family?" how could one resist such innocence.

"Yes" her voice had been quiet and wavering, eyes wild; searching, wondering.

"Delin, Nessa, your mum; have become family to me"

"And me? What about me?" she had finally mustered up the courage to say it, push the lump that was forming in quickly in her dry throat.

This was it. What he had waited years to tell her. What he should have told her the night she came to him.

"You are everything. You`re in every breath I take, feeling like I could suffocate sometimes because I want to breathe you in as much as I could. You`re here" he had moved her hand to rest on his strongly beating heart "With every beat, coursing through my blood, keeping me alive. You`re my sweetheart. My friend. My l-"

"I love you" Her lips had trembled, the words choked out between a rushed confession and a sob. Her eyes had quickly welled up with tears, and her breath quickened. The light from the living room surrounded her, and he couldn't help but think how angelic she looked. "I have always loved you. And I`ll always love you. I can`t stop it.. I want you. I need you" She paused, a nervous laugh escaping her, her face brightening slowly "I love you"

So here he was now, trying to coax her to lift her face from her temporary hiding place. It swirled, turned and fluttered low in his stomach, coursing through his veins, rushing to his heart, filling it to the brim. She loved him. She loves him still. He felt light, a sense of calmness wrapping him in a cocoon. He hadn't felt this peace and calm since she fell asleep in his arms in a rented apartment at 4 A.M after her body collapsed on top of his in sated bless, back in New Jersey.

He knew the more he waited for her, the more insecure and ashamed she felt, thinking he didn't feel the same way; when in fact he did, so very much. She had met him half way, took a leap of faith and was waiting for him to catch her, show her than her trust in him hasn't been misplaced.

_Timeless_  
_Don't let it end _  
_Now that you're right here in my arms where you should stay_  
_Hold tight baby_

"I knew you`d matter the moment I saw you dancing in the dusty old building. I have watched you, so alive and fiery; that I felt you`d burn me if I got too close but like a moth to a flame, I was weakened by the look of your eyes, couldn't resist the calling of your soul. I admit to times I have wanted to wring this delicate little thing" his knuckles brushed the soft skin back and forth, feeling her pulse jump underneath his touch, she wore a simple necklace; a princess cut diamond surrounded in a square of white gold that hung in the hollow of her throat. The chain was translucent, so it gave the appearance that the shimmering gem was just floating. And he had a flash of her, wearing nothing but that necklace, as she stretched her body against his black silk sheets. He moved her hair, exposing the length of her elegant neck. Gods how he wanted to kiss her throat. He wanted to feel her heart racing beneath his mouth, dancing against his tongue.

"You irritated me, irked me and made me lose control just by that pouty mouth of yours" the pad of his thumb traced the wet trembling lips, trailing to cup her chin, lifting her bowed head; her eyelashes fluttering against her rosy cheeks before catch her eyes, the words from his mouth a talking reflection of what she saw in his moss eyes. "I was jealous when that boy took you to the dance instead of me. That sinful purple meshing with green, hugging your body in the most beautiful dress. You had your hair just how I like it; wild, untamed and just how I like you. To those ruby lips, begging to be kissed, bitten like a ripe cherry."

She was good for his pride and ego as a dazed and enthralled look captured her beauty, frozen in time as he continued to tell his side of their tale "I was sorry that night.. not for following you but for not kissing you like you wanted, like I needed. And I ran, but you haunted me thousands of miles away, an imaginary fire licking at my feet, a burning in my belly." He pushed her against the back of the couch, fitting her body more against him, the two perfect match pieces of the puzzle meeting again to show how they just fit. "And you bared your back, to get the smooth skin of yours inked, a forever reminder of a night just ours" he traced the tattoo over her shirt, the design burned in his memory despite the burning on the paper. "And in the car, falling asleep waiting for a rescue that wasn't coming, all I needed to do was take the rock I put there, because I wanted you for myself for just a few hours, so I took the time against the plans of fate, made my own chance and I watched as you fell asleep a 17 year old girl and waking up 18. You were legal then and I could no I should have made my move then but you know fate had another plans for us, no matter how heartbreaking they were, they made us, they got us here"

Dabbing the corner of one eye, he felt his heart flutter, skip a beat of the strong rhythm before settling back. He was getting choked up much like her "Then I saw you getting ready for your dance, seen how that dance partner held and I was so god damn jealous of him touching you, holding you hell breathing the same air you did. And I pushed you away, but I sat at home reading that comic you gave me, thinking how much of a fuck up I was. I came once your sister called, and I slipped into those ridiculous clothes, looking like one of those mafia men back in the fifties and I saw you' beautiful decked in white, the black pointe carrying this precious body and I kissed you when you had me by the balls, telling me to kiss you and I did. You were soft, untouched and mine. I held you desperate not to let you go but I did and you came to me"

_Kissing her, touching her, letting her dress fall to the floor for the second time, caressing her, feeling her shudder against him as his fingers and hands danced upon virgin skin, tasting her pureness and finally sliding inside where no man was before him, _

"You trusted me to cherish what you had offered, to adore how you let me lead you into a dark world you knew nothing about, and making me feel like a good man" her hand cupped his jaw, brushing the whiskered face lovingly, her eyes knowing what he was saying but she needed to hear it much like he needed to hear her say it, how he wanted her to say it over and over and over again.

"I`d be lying if I said I wasn't mad you left like that, oh I was.. bitter, colder and hell bent on revenge but I was masking how hurt I had been, how I felt to be the one left behind but once I found you in the parking lot I knew I could never hurt you... certain when I knew you were were forced to leave too... And a lesser human being would have let what happened to you cripple them but you held on, survived and lived for both Philips that you lost... You`ll have our son here" he pressed an open palm over her breast, where her heart was "And you got me here too"

"Phil..."

"I love you. I tried not to ... but I couldn't.. I love you April Mendez. I`ll love you with my last breath"

She smiled at him, and when he looked at her, his mind spun into a void. What mattered was her. The feel of her pressed against his body. The taste of her lips upon his. The heat in her eyes. He wanted that, needed that, craved it like a mindless beast craving its next prey. Grasping her neck, he lowered his head, pecking her lips softly, once, twice before slanting his lips over hers, coaxing them apart, capturing them thoroughly with a passionate tenacity that stole her breath.

She closed her eyes, and it took her only a few moments to realize that she was being kissed. Ravished. She rested a flat hand on his chest to steady herself from falling and taking him with her. He made her feel like...like she was standing on a cliff that she would topple over at any moment. It was both terrifying and exciting.

Beneath her palm, she could feel his heart racing, and she moaned into the kiss that made her abdomen tight with desire. It felt like a rolling wave that just washed over her. When he pulled away, his teeth pulling at her lower lip, she felt the loss of his mouth against hers. She blinked up at him, dazed and overwhelmed with the passion that ignited between them.

He pulled her body flush against his chest, his straight lines arching against her petite curves. They always did fit so perfectly together. He felt her breasts push against his chest, his hand curved around her waist and he pulled her against the swell of his arousal. Passion fused in a fission of need that seemed to pull her soul straight from her body.

She wrenched her lips away regretfully, breathing harshly for air to satisfy her burning lungs. Her breath was hot against his cheek as he trailed kisses from the side of her mouth, round cheeks to the curve of her jaw, the slope of swan-like neck, open mouthed kisses that left a wet trail and soon to appear goosebumps in the awake of his ghostly touch. Her nimble hands wrapped like a web around his strong torso, feeling his muscles bunch and tense under the soft fabric of his shirt, racking her blunt nails down his back, a breathy moan trembled past her thoroughly kissed lips, the sound was borderline erotic, had him twitch and harden more.

Hands trailed down her back, teasingly resting against the swell of her bottom, a perfection mold to be attached to her beautiful body. The flesh filling out nicely, if that was possible. Her shapely bottom was something else when she was young, now even more so. A flash of images had him growling, imagining sinking his teeth in the skin that resembled a ripe peach waiting to be tasted. His long hands ran past it, resting on the back of her legs, parting them; lifting her body up, shortening the height and distance between them and she was more than happy to wrap her glorious thigh low on his waist, the little vixen locking their pelvis snugly, grounding her hips into his, seeking to put out the fire, same one burning in his belly, raging on, threatening to have him combust from sheer hotness. This April was so much like the girl he knew yet different. He remembered her hesitating to touch him after her spike of courage disappeared when they stood her naked and him clutching her blossoming perky breasts. This one was more confident, knew what she wanted...as if she had more exp..

"No one touched me in seven years" she eased back, hands clutching his shoulders for purchase as he continued to support her. How did she knew what he was thinking? "I couldn't betray you, betray that night and betray us. I kissed guys but no one touched me but you. You told me I was yours"

He had. Oh how he had told her that. She had stayed faithful to them both in heart and body. How could he have doubted her?

_Sensation building upon sensation until she couldn't catch her breath ,his gaze roving possessively over every supple curve as he smiled rakishly. "You're mine now."_

"You`ll always be mine"

_Timeless_  
_Don't let it fade out of sight_  
_Just let the moments sweep us both away_  
_Lifting us to where_  
_We both agree_  
_This is timeless love_

He kicked the door shut with his foot, walking to the wide bed in the center of the room, waiting for them, inviting them to dance passionately upon its covers. He set her on her legs, smiling softly when she clutched his forearms to balance her wobbly feet. She was a mix of innocence, adorableness, sexy, dark and loving being. Only she could muster such a mix so perfect for him.

He reached for the buttons he had unbuttoned hours ago, hands vibrating with how excited and nervous he was, like undressing her for the first time. He pushed the material off of her shoulders, falling down her arms, finally pooling at her feet in a dark pool. She looped her hand through the belt hoops, tugging him closer, hands snaking under his shirt, running over flat stomach, rippling chest, budded nipples, dragging her nails back down, over the zipper and the hard bulge pressing against the denim jeans, demanding to be released of the tight confines. He toed off his sneakers, wiggling his bright orange socks when she laughed. Together they lifted his shirt over his torso, over his head, joining hers on the floor. Hands splayed wide, fluttering down across his shoulders and chest delicately tracing the gorgeously tattooed skin, taking in all of him. Knots formed in his stomach when she pressed her lips over his heart.

She paused thoughtfully above his nipples, eyeing the tiny buds, beckoning her lips and tongue to taste them. Giving in to temptation, she lapped at them with her tongue, leisurely making her way over to his left nipple, circling it and flicking it with her tongue before taking it in her mouth, applying a gentle suction.

He groaned, his hands slipping around her to glide over her delicate spine, fingertips splayed wide to touch as much of her as he could. His fingers combing up through her hair and playing with several strands before slipping down to caress her neck. Nipping lightly at him, she found the ridges of his tightly muscled abdomen, leaving a trail of kisses and darting her tongue into his bellybutton as she made her way down past his waist. She unbuckled his belt, flicked the button before slowly lowering the zipper down. This was her first time undressing a man, hoping her nervousness would not rear its ugly head. Truth is she was still a virgin. She only had that one glorious night and nothing. And reading about stuff and actually doing them were two different things.

He let her build her confidence, pretending not to notice her shake when she touched him. She wanted to undress him, who was he to stop her? It was such a turn on to see how he could affect her so much. She gave him a sense of power unlike any other and he knew she trusted him not to use it against her. He`d never break the faith she was blindly putting into him.

She pushed them over his lean hips, biting her lips as she did, she crouched down helping him step out of them, discarding them away. Slowly her hands trailed up his smooth muscular calves, messaging his strong thighs. Using a band-air approach, he blinked and his boxers were gone. The blue and red with 'Bite Me' on the back had been a gift from her, a step after wooing him. She called it seducing him.

She gulped. He was big and thick too and how did he manage to fit that inside of her was a mystery.

"You don`t have to"

"I want to. I wanna know you.. all of you" She reached out to touch him, knuckles grazing the soft skin, feathery touches that had him grunting before she wrapped her hand around him, her small one barely managing to circle him complete "You`re big" _Fuck when did she become so expressive? She stuttered shy when she touched him for the first time and now she was.. fuckkkk_.

Her tongue took a test lick of sorts, a curious lick, see what the big deal was all about. The skin of his shaft was velvety soft against her tongue and she found herself pressing butterfly kisses to the side, until she bit the skin above it softly hearing him curse hotly.

"App..Jesus Christ baby" in one fluid motion she took him in her mouth, moist lips closing around the head, purring; the vibration stirring him on. She released him with a pop, tongue swiping her glistering lips, looking like a cat that ate the canary. Hands under her arms, he lifted her up, capturing her lips in a searing kiss, hot, wet and sloppy. He pushed past her lips, find the tongue that was licking him, stroking against it in earnest, backing her up toward the bed. Her knees hit the back of it, sitting down with his guidance.

"You have too much clothes on you"

He flickered her jeans open, shimmering them down her raised hips, strong lean legs, toeing her chucks and socks too, his orange ones joined the pile after. He pushed her back on the bed, her legs dangling on the floor. Hands prided her thighs apart, a trail of kissed from her knee to the inside of her thighs, her scent intoxicating him to the point of drunkenness. She still smelled the same and he knew in a few moments she`ll taste the same. Sweet, tangy and sharp.

April.

He pressed a kiss through her silk panties, damp with desire and her body`s excitement. She squirmed but unlike last time she didn't shriek and push him away, she lay still, waiting for him. He pushed the flimsy material away, pressing a soft kiss to the exposed folds. How he wanted to sit on his hunches for hours drinking from her honeyed nectar. A few well placed licks and mastered flicks of his tongue he dragged the black panties down her legs, bringing her closer to the edge, draping a slender leg over his shoulder before going back to his feast.

She wasn't frosty. She was lava itself.

Every motion he made, she felt it doubled from his touch and her overactive imagination. His flat tongue went back and forth over her aching flesh, a probing finger slide easily inside, feeling him curl the digit in a come hither motion, a thumb joined the overstimulating feeling, messaging her pearly bundle of nerves. Her hips soon rose in a rocking motion against his face, the sheets fisted in her hand, back bowing; arched ready to snap like a twig. The coiling in her lower body was unbearable but she wasn't there yet she needed it harder

"Oh yes.. harder"

Faster

"Gods baby faster...I am..I..I..close.." she felt stretched as another finger filled her core, a fast blurring movements of ins and outs had her in tears.

"Come on baby... let go.. cum for me" he growled against her and that was enough to set her off. She clenched tight around his fingers as they thrust through her orgasm, tongue lapping at the warm gush of sweetness from her, her thighs locking his head in a headlock that would have made a submission master proud.

"That`s it baby.. feel good... " he soothed her, murmuring against her thigh. Letting her have a minute, he was content to lay here all his life. Something dark caught his eyes, on the curve of her hip. He nipped his way up, tracing it with his tongue "I told you you`d get hooked"

She was floating, weightless boneless heap. She could barely lift a finger, much less her head and look at him sitting there between her trembling legs "When did you get it?"

"After I left. My 'screw you' to dad" He kissed the tattoo, stars littering tapped hands crossed in an 'X' similar to what he did during matches.

_I see it all baby in your eyes_  
_When you look at me I know I feel it too _  
_So let's sail away and be forever baby_  
_Where the crystal ocean melts into the sky_

The bra fell from her body and for the first time, he let his eyes dip down and she felt her entire body warm in response to his gaze. She sucked in a shaky breath through her nostrils. It'd been a mistake, too, because then he was in her nose, he was all around her, and she didn't know how to escape him; to escape this surreal mockery of lovemaking. It would only be real when he was inside of her, filling her. Relaxing against the bed, his hands moved back up to cup her gently, caressing her silky flesh, testing the weight of each breast with the palms of his hands. His thumbs stroking across her budded nipples, making her moan in the back of her throat. He took her mouth hungrily, groaning into her when she eagerly returned his kiss and grabbed one of his hands, shameless guiding his fingers to the moist heat between her thighs.

Aggressive women were such a turn on.

He traced the unbelievably wet folds, slipping inside of her with ease, one two and soon three drenched fingers were building her to another blinding release. Her sweaty clammy body screamed for more, for him and that amazingly big length to be buried inside of her but got did he know how to satisfy her with just about any limb he has attached on his fucking beautiful body.

Her whine when he slid them out was cut off as she felt him move teasing over her, brushing, slipping just an inch before sliding back and forth. Soon he was coated, glistering with her desire, desire she had from him. The moonlight that filled the room through her window reflected on his perfect body, every muscle, dip, counter was bathed in silver light, adding an unearthly glow to him. He looked dark and mysterious, soft and hard in her hands.

She held it for him, knowing he hadn't come prepared. The foil package was ready to be rolled on, enveloping him completely.

"Just one?"

She reached to move a pillow away revealing the pile to him "Lots of ones. If you think you can use`em all"

"Oh baby by the time I am done with you, they`ll have to surgically remove me from inside you perfect hot body"

She looked up at him and smiled, getting lost in the depths of his eyes, the raw emotion blazing there captivating her. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she whispered, "Make love to me." Her hips moving encouragingly against his, her hands gliding up over his arms, her fingers stroking his shoulders as she pulled him closer.

He gazed down at her, a part of him still stunned and amazed by the passion and love lighting her eyes. She'd never looked more beautiful to him. Maintaining eye contact, he slowly pressed himself inside her, felt her moist sheath embrace him tightly.

_We shouldn't let the moment pass_  
_Making me shiver let's make it last_  
_Why should we lose it don't ever let me go_

A low breathy moan left her lips as he slid deeper and deeper until he was seated to the hilt, inexorably possessing her, the intimacy of the moment overwhelming them both. His whispered, "God, I love you" rippling through her, making her shudder with need, her answer slipping easily past her own lips, "I love you too." Her walls were forced wide against his girth. He filled her so completely and so perfectly that he almost clicked into place.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to maintain control, he began moving against her, pulling out leisurely and then thrusting in deep. Getting caught up in the erotic drag of flesh on flesh. Hard muscle finding soft, welcoming heat over and over again. Her hips rocking up eagerly to meet his every stroke, his name leaving her lips in little breathy whimpers as the whirlwind inside her started spiraling out of control.

His eyes never leaving hers, he kept moving, slow and sweet, delving deeper and deeper. He was gliding smoothly inside and taking up a swift but satisfying rhythm as he bent to capture her exposed nipple between his lips. His tongue flicking and licking at her soft skin as he sucked her in. His hips pressing demanding into hers, pulling an increasing litany of softly uttered gasps and hot little cries from her lips as she held him tight and bit her lips to try and muffle them, until the need got too great to bear.

Pulling his head up to hers, she caught his eyes, her own just as dark and hungry and intense. "God help me Phil. More. I need you. Right now," she breathed out desperately and captured his lips with hers, molding her body against his. Picking up his pace as he returned her kiss, he slid his arms under her legs and hitched them up higher.

"...you make me feel..." she broke off and gasped as he tensed, stilling inside of her. His body was responding to the simple fact that he made her feel anything. He swore loudly, a prisoner of his own reaction.

"Feel what?" he rasped raggedly, fighting off his own release. It was hard enough, knowing that she was able to come so easily when he took her like this. It was a first for him. He clutched her tighter, his blind worship of her evident in every thump of his manic heartbeat against her chest

Shaking in his arms, she didn't seem able to respond. She merely tucked herself tighter into the crook of his arms; his thick length still snuggled deep inside her, refusing to leave.

"I never even dreamed you were possible."

He held out for as long as he could. She could feel his stubbornness as he doggedly refused to let their lovemaking end. Because it would end. Right then and there. He was trying to stop time through the sheer force of his hips. He plunged into her over and over. Powerless against her desire, she let him. He still smelled like everything she ever wanted. And his voice still held the rough sweetness of rock candy.

But time escaped them in ticks and tocks.

Like all attempts before his to alter the time-space continuum, it failed. He came for her, just like he always did.

_Timeless_  
_Don't let it fade out of sight_  
_Just let the moments sweep us both away_  
_Lifting us to where_  
_We both agree_  
_It's just timeless_

She rested over his body, sweaty, panting and sated to her bones. Her face nuzzling the skin of his neck, looking for that particular spot to rest against, much like a cat seeking warmth would. Her damp hair stuck to her body, his softening length buried inside of her. He had made to slip out of her but she clenched tight, earthing a tortured moan from him. Her response was "_Stay. I wanna nap like one"_

How could he resist her when she said it like that?

"April?"

"Mmm"

"I need to pee"

"Hold it. I am too comfy now"

"Baby I`ll explode right inside of you if I don`t move now"

"Promises promises"

The double innuendo not lost on him and called out to him. She was challenging his manhood.

"I`ll tell you what. Let me go now and I`ll be back to make it up to you. Okay?"

"Okay" She groaned when he slipped out of her, shuddering at the loss of him filling her, completing her.

She dozed off on her belly, the sheet covering her waist down, smooth legs peaking out from it. He stood at the edge of the bed watching her, content with the silent observation. They were finally together. After a year of dancing around each other, in denial another seven years worth of separation pain and heartache and they have finally arrived to this very moment.

He had believe fairytales to be untrue and unreal but this was as close to it as the two of them could get.

He crawled to bed, dragging the covers with him, a quick glance at the clock showed it was pushing past 5 A.M the sun starting to peak. He settled against the mattress, moving her sleeping body to nestle in his arms, back to chest. He circled her waist possessively, afraid to wake up and find her gone.

"I am not going anywhere" he rested his face in the crock of her arms, lifting the covers over them, warmth wrapping them in a bubble of their own, the rest of the world slipping away as sleep welcomed them.

Her smile was warm, yet scoffing. He was such a contradicting mix of hard and soft, dark and light. Completely aloof yet in quiet moments..

_Well someone is a cuddler._

_It's just timeless love_

* * *

**Again I remind you if anyone does NOT like this or what I write, they are more than welcome to stop. **

**Thanks to those who have been supportive of this from the start :)**

**An early Valentine`s Day gift to all, celebrating with RAW tonight.**

**-Sam (formerly known as XxPunkLeexX)**


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks for all the reviews, reads and support of this story.

I hate fillers just like the rest of you but they are necessary to move things,get to a certain point or event. I am trying to keep a nice flowing feeling to it, not rushing things. I am liking the easy smooth sail of this.

Thanks to **Red Foxe** for going over this with me. Lots of kisses and hugs. #CottonCandyHair

Have a nice reading. See you at the bottom.

* * *

He felt absolutely rested.

A boneless liquid puddle of nerves and he couldn't have asked for a better feeling.

He laid on his belly, the soft warm bed almost like a siren of a woman beneath him, keeping him in her warm clutches, embracing him to her. He cracked a heavily lidded eye open, hand grasping his phone from the nightstand next to the bed, squinting to see the small digits. He let the phone back, turning around, the sheets tangling around his bare body, slipping to lay low on his waist. He had his head buried in his still warm pillow, arm reaching to pull her equally warm and equally bare body into his. Same involuntarily action for the last two days.

But instead of the warm willing squirming small feminine body, he encountered the cooling sheets and the cool pillow. Fully awake, his eyes both snapped open staring at the empty space next to him. He relaxed, body falling to the comfort of the soft bed, hand grasping the Violet Sticky note resting on her white pillow. 'In the shower' written elegantly on it, the little heart causing him to smile wider.

Two complete days of this bless and he never wanted to leave. He could see them locked in this haven alone; eating, reading and making love. Just the two of them. Phil and April.

A girl and a boy.

Focusing more, the sounds of water rushing from the bathroom were faint and in his dazed sleepy state no wonder he could not hear them.

He never felt this rested before and her bed was heaven. He slept on a whole lot of beds in his time on the road, from five starts hotels, shitty motels, sofa beds, and even his comfortable bed at his bus was nothing compared to this. And for two days they were content to eat, watch whatever on TV, enjoy each other and to just simple lay there, tangled together, where he didn`t know where she ended and where he began; talking and falling asleep, and for a person who battles insomnia daily he had no troubles falling asleep to the soothing sound of her even breath, the warm puffs of air hitting the skin of his neck in an even rhythm that lolled him to sleep. He never did that, he would be lucky to get three undisturbed hours of sleep only after exercising himself to the point of fatigue.

And today he was all about to lose that.

This afternoon he was leaving New York and going back to do house shows before tapping the Monday and Tuesday shows.

He didn`t want to leave ever. Not this bed. Not this apartment. Not this city and most importantly not her. Never her.

He had just got her back for fuck sake.

And he wasn`t ready to let her go so soon even if they both knew how rare his visits home were like. Working from Saturday to Tuesday on live house shows and tapping segments it left him with three days off, usually spent on his bus, enjoying the next city instead of wasting time flying home for two short days. Back then he was a single guy, who had three sisters and a mother whom had taken him into his home, became his real family rather than his biological dysfunctional one. But now he had April.

He had April.

Did it ever feel good to say those words and actually believe them to be true! She was his, always was since she was seventeen and now she was his; body, soul and heart. Just as much as he was all hers. And he wasn't about to let her go.

Quickly, he threw back the covers, groaning at the loss of warmth, padding softly to the bathroom, slipping in the foggy room. Her small curvy body glistened, soap and water caressing her golden skin softly, running from her arched graceful neck, over her pert breasts, down her flat stomach, curving over the roundness of her hips, disappearing in the junction of her thighs. Her long hair stuck to her back, and he watched as she gathered it up over to the side, eyes catching his over her shoulder. Her smile so inviting, gaze calling for him as she swept over him from head to toe taking in his very naked and very aroused state.

"Care to join me?"

Ever the slave to the fair sex and ever the willing to have an eternity to enjoy his goddess he walked closer, stepping under the warm water, sighing as it caressed his neck, shoulders and back before swirling around their feet.

She turned in his arms, stepping closer to his lean body, small hands tracing the marked skin, inky designs adding to his mystery. The warm water added her smooth glide over chest, around his shoulders down until she grasped onto his forearms for support, her chest flushed against his, and awakening length pushing against her trembling belly, like a pet asking to be caressed and loved.

Hand clenched at the back of her neck, he tugged lifting her face to him, lips pressing a kiss to the corners of her mouth; running his tongue over the parted flesh before he dove in. He prodded, and when she parted them on a sigh he pushed past the shyness, coaxing the dormant wild kitten to awaken from her deep slumber and play with him.

In need of air, he broke the kiss nuzzling her damp cheek, placing open mouthed kisses from her jaw, down her neck, capturing her ear lobe, tongue flickering the piercings, her cat-like mewls stirring him further.

"Phil" her whine were cut short as long fingers prodded wet slick flesh, quivering over his touches. One followed by another slipped inside of her, thumb drawing dizzying circles teasingly, her hip thrusting down on his hand, guiding the pace to her liking.

"Yes?" he asked innocently, watching her eyes struggle to focus on him.

"You`re a tease" he turned the water off, backing her toward the title wall, his free hand capturing a budded hard nipple, tweaking it, tugging at the sensitive peak teasingly, his thrusting hand stilling inside of her. She wiggled, trying to get him to get back to pleasuring her "And you my darling are so easy to tease"

"How so?" captivated by the darkening of his moss eyes, she played right into his experienced hand. Slipping out of her, he reached for the shampoo, squeezing a generous amount on his hands, lathering it on her long hand, softly messaging her scalp until she was close to collapsing against him "You make those little noises at the back of your throat whenever I touch you and I know how much you need me" opening the water, he rinsed the shampoo, watching the soapy water travel over her breasts, flat tummy and golden thighs, surrounding her small feet.

Closing the lid to her body wash, he turned her around, her back flush with his chest "And when I touch you here" he cupped the flesh in his palms, giving it a hard squeeze, gently running his hands down her tummy and around her hips. He parted her thighs, propping on leg on the edge of the shower stall, the other braced on the floor and he set to show her why she was so tease-able "Your body wants this so much and it`ll make do with whatever I bestow upon it, no matter how little"

"How mean! Taking advantage of my body`s craving for yours"

"Don`t worry darling. Mine wants to ravish yours just as much" With a hand under her thigh, he lifted her enough to lower her body on his length. Inch by glorious inch, she felt him stretch her, slowly messaging his way in until he could go no more, hitting a sweet spot in her womb.

If he thought the shower was warm, inside of her was lave hot. Like a vice she wrapped around him snugly, not an inch of breathing room to spare, his own perfectly designed glove. Her head rested back on his shoulders, the little mewls mixing with heavy pants and he braced his hands on the wall, supporting them from slipping and falling.

"Feels good. Doesn`t it?" he nipped a kiss at the skin of her neck, soothing it with his tongue, slowly starting to move inside of her.

"Better everytime... oh Jesus baby you`re so big" The empty space inside of her body felt whole, full.

"Am I?" She was so good to his ego, and while others have said the exact same sentence to him, falling from her parted lips never felt so satisfying.

"Big head up here" her hand circled his head, fingers holding to the short yet growing locks, the other pressed low between their bodies, feeling him move in and out of her core faster now, her words affecting him "Big head down there"

"And you are too good for both heads. Too fucking good"

* * *

"I`ll miss you"

"I know sweets. I will miss you too"

"Stupid work" she grunted, face buried in his shirt, hands circling his waist, clinging to his body. 1 P.M has rolled and it was time to go back to his hectic life, to a life without her.

"You have work too" he reminded her. They both knew that this little stopping of time had to end and both would have to go back to their separate lives and careers. While her job would relatively keep her in New York, his would take him all across the country, months later to be back in New York.

"Nope. Spring season is rolling strong, and having back to back shows for years I decided to sit this one out. I am free for the next oh say month. But stupid WWE needs you back and stupid John needs you to kick his ass again"

She was free.. this was it.. his loser-lucky break..

"Come with me" he rushed the words, afraid he`d back down if he thought them through. Another month of having her with him, in his own life for a change was too good to be true as if finally the fates were starting to work in their favors for once.

"What?" she eased back, looking at him bewildered. He couldn't possibly mean...

"Come with me. On the road... on my bus.. meet my friends... see me wrestle"

He could see the indecision in her eyes, yet the longing to take him up on the offer shined bright. She wanted to come, she just needed an extra push. He cupped her face, capturing her eyes. He let her see how much he wanted her to come with him. What it`d mean to him.

"April. Would you go on the road with me?"

* * *

**Tell me what you think.**

Take the time to check out the followings:

Dreams Come True and Seven Devils by **Red Foxy**.

All For Love by **Kelzo**.

Natural Dynamite and Calming Touch by **Raiden519.**

The Long Way Home by **MyChaosTheory.**

Not Weak, Just Stronger by **RunninOnCrazy**.

And don`t forget to visit us at the forum, it is on my FF profile. You`ll find a lot of sneak peaks of FF there, lots of Punk yumminess, and me drooling over pretty much everything.

-Sam (Formerly known as XxPunkleexX).


	25. Chapter 25

Is anybody out there? Call out.

Before you have my head, I am sorry for the delay but I have been knee-deep in school work.

Thanks for Foxie for going over this with me xoxo

Enjoy!

* * *

_Find me here, and speak to me_  
_I want to feel you, I need to hear you_  
_You are the light that's leading me to the place_  
_Where I find peace again_  
_You are the strength that keeps me walking_  
_You are the hope that keeps me trusting_

"What if they don`t like me?"

She sat at the foot of the bed, hands in her lap; fidgeting. He looked over his shoulder as he pushed his gear inside his bag. They had the bus for themselves since his schedule had been lighter than the rest after the Wrestlemania season. Kofi took up travelling with Daniel when he wasn't there. That was then, today he was returning full-time, fully recovered after that tiring title reign he had, and he didn't come back alone. He brought April back with him. It was still processing in his mind that she actually agreed to come for him on the road, see where he worked, meet his friends and what baffled his mind, she wanted to be with him for a whole month. Their relationship, while started almost eight years ago in a poor dangerous neighborhood in Union City, New Jersey; was still brand new. They were on equal footings now, having both revealed what should have been said a long time ago. He often wanted to pinch himself, so that if he had been dreaming, he would wake up.. but no matter how many he pinched himself, he found himself exactly where he was. He had found her. They have found each other.

He zipped the bag closed before he walked to her. The bed was a mess. Clothes strewn around, all have been flung out of her suitcase while she searched for something to wear to tonight`s RAW. All of her clothes were either deemed too stiffy, meh or flat-out wrong. So now she sat, in her bra and black jeans, her black chucks tied tight around her feet.

He pushed some shirts back, sitting next to her, his leg brushing against hers. The wavy mahogany locks tumbled past her narrow shoulders, hiding her face from him. Brushing some back, he tugged her to his side, her head resting on his shoulder, face buried in the crock of his neck.

"I am not giving you up because the people I work with happen to not like you. I don`t give a fuck about them. This is about you and me, no one else. True they`re my friends but I love you. Ok?"

Her nervousness started to ease the more his smooth warm voice soothed her irrational fears. He was right. While she would love nothing more than to be liked by his friends and colleagues their opinion would not change anything at the end of the day.

"Okay" easing back she pressed her lips to his scruffy cheek, loving how it tickled her skin. He was the right combination of strong and lean, manly yet soft. He was her perfect match if there was such a thing "Come, we`ll be late" she pushed away and stood, taking her phone off the charger, stuffing it in her back pocket

"While I would certainly enjoy it, I hope you`re not planning on stepping out like that" his suddenly darkened eyes dropped from her face to below her chin and she followed his gaze, feeling both the heat of his look and the heat of embarrassment. The black bra plunged in, pushing her chest up and out, the front clasp teasingly nestled between her breasts.

"You`d get jealous?" she couldn't help but ask.

He tugged her to him until she was between his legs, hands trailing teasingly up and down the back of her thighs.

"Very" he murmured against the skin of her stomach, nipping at the soft flesh.

"How very?"

"Insanely jealous!" He brought her down with him as he lay back across the bed, ignoring her squeal of surprise and used her surprise to flip them, and trap her underneath his suddenly feverish body. He drew her denim covered leg to curl around his waist, his body instinctively seeking to thrust into her, altering between kissing and nipping at her skin playfully.

He played her like a fiddle; expertly manipulating her desire for him, her need for him. Her hands roamed his covered back, feeling his muscles twitch and flex through the fabric. The trail of wet kisses he left, raised goosebumps as the cool air brushed the skin, deliciously increasing her want. He bit the patch of skin over her heart, descending to kiss the flesh that dangerously threatened to spill out from the small cups.

"Sir"

The timed knock halted his movement of snapping the clasp and only then he felt her small hands inside his jeans, fingers grazing his lower back and the top of his ass. What a sneaky little thing!

"We`re at the arena, sir"

She wiggled her body, slipping past him, shirts flying everywhere as she looked for something decent to wear.

"Here"

He handed her a neatly folded shirt, watched her as she touched the fabric softly before taking it. Her head poked through the hole, hands smoothing the shirt down her body. It was a perfect fit.

"How do I look?"

"You look perfect"

Minutes later they stepped out of his bus into the parking lot, faintly hearing the buzz of the fans at the other side from where the superstars filled in, as they waited patiently to enter the arena for tonight`s show.

Taking her hand, he walked towards the entrance feeling her stumble a little before falling into a confident step next to him. He chanced a look from the corner of his eyes, found her smiling wide, eyes bright as she tried to take it all in. As a wrestling fan from very young, he supposed this was surreal for her.

Yup. His eyes looked at bright yellow shirt, the lightening bolt stretched across her upper body . She looked beautiful in his shirt.

_You are my purpose _  
_You're everything _  
_And how can I stand here with you _  
_And not be moved by you_

Had she not been a ballerina dancer, she would most definitely be a wrestler. Wrestling boots and kickpads replacing pearly satin pointee, some revealing outfit instead of a tulle tutu and vicious sharp movements replacing the gliding smoothly to music.

Yes. She`d fit in easily.

She felt like a kid in a candy store. She took in the people hustling through the hallways carrying equipment, shuffling papers, talking on the phones for last-minute arrangement. She could see many talents maneuver themselves between the throngs of people.

She saw him nod to some, making brief small talk with others but not once did they stop to actually talk with people. He led her through a labyrinth of hallways that looked exactly the same to her. People gave her curious glances, openly staring at her, Punk and their still clasped hands in poorly contained surprise. He gave them no mind, continuing deeper and further into the maze, reaching what appeared to be his dressing room.

He pushed the door open, tugging her inside before closing it.

"You good?"

"I felt like I was walking naked in my high school hallway" she pushed her glasses up her nose, placing the small bag she brought with her on a table nearby.

"I could care less what they think. I barely know them" he put his bag on a chair, walking to where she stood, an arm circling her shoulder tightly. He frowned when he heard muttered voices behind his closed door. Putting a finger to his lips, he walked them to the door, leaning to hear what was being said.

_"Shh.. I don`t hear anything"_

_"If you would shut up, we might hear something and I would appreciate if the hand on my ass is gone"_

_"Sorry!"_

_"Layla said she was cute as a button.." _he recognized Koffi`s voice, smiling as she blushed at the compliant.

_"He always nails hot chicks" _Her eyebrow rose at that statement and she could swear he mouthed 'chick magnet'.

_"You disgust me Ryder" _It was Natalia`s stern voice, unimpressed with the crude remark.

_"John said they were holding hands" _That was Daniel`s sly voice and he could practically visualize the vegan`s eyes dancing with mirth to tease him about it.

_"Awww" _He opened the door suddenly, and four bodies fell through the door, barely catching themselves from being planted face first.

They stood looking sheepish, eyes now fixed on April and he felt proud for not cowering under their investigative glances.

"Hello!" she offered a genuine smile, and her 'omph' of surprise was muffled as a blonde flash flew past him and embraced her. Her surprised eyes flew to him, patting the other woman`s back awkwardly when he shrugged.

Natalia drew back, smile wide as she looked at the woman whom Punk told her about years ago, when she caught him looking at a worn picture of the girl.

"This is Nattie" He stepped forward, warping a loose arm around the Canadian blonde, a fond smile on his lips "My best girl here"

"It`s an honor to meet you. I am a big fan of your work. I am.."

She interrupted "I know who you are. You`re Phil`s April"

_You calm the storms and you give me rest_  
_You hold me in your hands_  
_You won't let me fall_  
_You steal my heart and you take my breath away_  
_Would you take me in, take me deeper now_

**Chicago, IL**.

Phil's jaw tightened and he stood, feet firmly planted apart, arms crossed and glaring at the man in front of him. His eyes were cold, showing his displeasure. His lips twisted into a sneer. "You actually sell this crap to people? You should be ashamed, swindling unsuspecting innocents out of their hard-earned cash." It didn't matter that he made a lot of money by being one of the top guys in the company. Phil was not in a good mood today.

A week has passed since April returned to her life and work and he continued to have shows and wrestle. So many times he wanted to drop everything and show up at her door step and never leave their love nest. Late night calls, texting and even skyping daily didn't help him, it made what he was feeling worse. He was miserable, used to her company, to touching her soft hair, to holding her and yes goddamn it he missed kissing her. None of that helped him, he needed to be physically near him not just her sweet voice or her picture on his phone.

Once her initial meeting with his friends was done with, she fitted in perfectly as if her all life she had been there. And he could see it too. Tiny, fast and passionate, she would have made on helluva diva and he wondered at times when they laid in bed on his bus... if April hadn't been a dancer and he hadn't met her at that warehouse...would he have met her somewhere else? A diva in the WWE, maybe even put into one of those romantic storylines... or maybe he`d meet her at a comic convention, dressed as Poison Ivy or maybe .. he had driven himself mad with possibilities filling the time when he couldn't sleep while she slumbered peacefully in the warm circle of his arms. Bottom line was at the end they`ll always find each other.

They always find each other.

At that moment he knew he didn't ever want to feel like he did all the years he was without her. This time there was no leaving things to chance, or following the fate written in the stars. He was making his own goddamn luck.

And what luck was he finding in his quest. None whatsoever.

"I'm sorry," the young salesman visibly trembled, putting the item that had caused such offense back into the display case. "We have more." He reached lower, pulling out another row and sweat beaded on his forehead. He was young; the acne on his face put him somewhere in high school or early college.

"Punk!" There was a sharp whisper from behind him and a hard tug on his sleeve pulling him away from his mission. He turned, annoyed with the fiery redhead who had accompanied him. Her eyes were flashing in warning.

"What?" he demanded defensively.

Amy glared at him, hands planted on her hips. "You're going to make him pee his pants. We've been to three different places," she stressed. "You made the last girl burst into tears. Make up your mind." The last part was said firmly.

Phil crossed his arms again, pointing out, "You're not being helpful."

Amy just rolled her eyes. "You're still alive after the day we've had, that's about as helpful as I can get." And the exasperation in her voice was almost an exact copy of the young April he met at that warehouse in Jersey, along with the biting sarcasm and eye roll.

Phil turned away from her and looked at the new selection, browsing through it, a frown on his lips and his eyes intensely focused on the shining metal and glittering stones. Amy came to stand beside him, impatience radiating off her in waves and Phil picked up one of the rings declaring stiffly, "This looks about right."

He didn't mean to sound so disinterested but the more he looked at rings, the more the knot tightened and his chest clenched horribly. He was never going to find THE ring. The one that screamed April at him. He was frustrated, antsy and dealing with disappointment after disappointment. He was being a bit melodramatic and acting more girly than he ever felt, not as much when they pranked him with tutu, sparkling glitter, a magic wand and goddamn tiara but close enough. The distant memory brought a small twitch to his lips. It did feel like getting a sneak peek at someone else`s past. They have come a long way from tearing at each other to shopping for a small round ring.

"It's horrible." she looked from the ring to him, her eyes wide "We've been searching all day and that," she pointed to the large monstrosity, "is what you pick? Do you not know your girlfriend at all?"

Phil's brow furrowed. "What? It's big and it has lots of diamonds."

"It's pointed." Amy folded her arms as if that settled it.

Phil grinned widely as if she had hit the jackpot. "It`s a huge rock. Diamonds are a girl`s best friend." even he knew how lame and superficial he sounded like. He knew her and the last thing she cared about is size or jewel. He would get her a plain white gold band and she would be over the moon with it. A hard poor upbringing gave her appreciation of the smallest simplest things in life.

Amy whimpered, dragging a hand through her hair and muttering something that sounded like idiot under her breath. She looked like she was about to snap or cry … "You called?"

Phil scowled at Chez and Amy's face lit up as she hugged her. "Oh thank God. Your brother has the worst taste in the history of men."

"Hey!" Phil frowned, looking back down at the ring. It was a little too big and maybe he should find something that didn't look like it could be used as a small spear. He looked back up, meeting Chez's eyes and sighed, putting the ring back in the case.

"Would you like to see anymore?" the salesman asked nervously and before Phil could say anything, Chez interjected,

"No, we're fine. Thank you." She grabbed Phil's arm pulling him and Amy out of the store. Phil held back a little, pulling loose but followed Chez anyway "What are you doing here?" Phil asked casually, leaning against his car, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Amy called, said you guys might need some help."

Phil's face went blank. "I had it covered. I can buy my own damn ring."

Not wanting to get into it, Chez offered, "I don't doubt that but what if I have a faster solution." He pulled out a worn black velvet ring box.

Phil looked from the box to Chez and told her bluntly, "I love you, but no."

Chez just shoved the box in Phil's hands and he automatically flipped it open, looking confused at the delicate diamond engagement ring. Something nagged at the back of his mind and Phil gently pulled it out turning it in his hand as the sun glinted off the perfect stones. It was smaller, three small diamonds framing a larger one on each side and set in white gold. His breath caught as he realized where he had seen it before and he looked up at Chez stunned, holding the ring tighter.

"Is it…?"

Chez nodded a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Mom's ring, yeah. She gave it to me years ago, told me to pass it onto to you whenever the time was right. I thought she was joking." Chez had shoved it in her bag and forgotten about it until Amy had called.

He was stunned speechless. Here he was, a young punk kid, fed up with his life at his home with his family that gave no shit about him where Chez and her family took him in, treated him as if he was their own flesh and blood. And now his adopted mother wanted to give him her own engagement ring to give to his sweetheart, that was what she called April when he phoned her two days ago and told the woman who became for all intents and purposed his mother about her.

Phil swallowed, looking pale and he gently put the ring back closing the lid and dragging a hand across his face, blinking rapidly. Amy turned away, suddenly interested in the cracked road and Chez just watched her brother.

Phil nodded pulling himself together. "Sure, okay." He gave Chez a confident grin, his words hitting deeper "This should work. Thanks."

Chez returned his smile. "It beats what you had. If you had asked with that thing I don't think she would have settled for just a no." Chez mocked winced. "I would hate to have to visit you in the hospital."

Phil just smiled, feeling the weight of the box in his pocket and the grip around his chest loosened, another weight settling in his gut as he looked forward to the next hurdle - actually asking the girl to willingly spend the rest of her life with him.

But somehow the ring made it easier.

_Cause you're all I want, you're all I need_  
_You're everything_


	26. Chapter 26

**_~!Words spoken, my heart open,_**  
**_No I never had butterflies like that,_**  
**_We danced in the moon glow,_**  
**_Your hands moved slow,_**  
**_You kissed me on the lips,_**  
**_Swore I wouldn't look back,_**  
**_It was just like we were flying in another time!~_**

**_Many many days later:_**

Wiping the excessive sauce from the edge of the dish, he relaxed and the focused scowl gave into a satisfied smile as he took in the results of two hours efforts. Out on the small balcony, the round table was covered in a rosy peach lace tablecloth with a white vase filled with wildflowers in the center of the table. The two ribs dishes waited on the kitchen counters to be severed along with two globes ready to be filled with Pepsi and Dr. Pepper for April. The apartment was filled with delicious aroma, mostly from the freshly baked apple pie. Even if he only baked the golden pie, he was proud for not burning it. Natalie had dropped off after April left for work and in long story short, he owed the Canadian beauty more than he already did.

Dusted and spotless, the apartment was almost sparkling, the way it does after some heavy-duty cleaning took place. Covering the dishes to keep warm, to be heated just before she arrived, he headed through the bedroom to reach the bathroom, dirty clothes shrugged and thrown into the hamper. He turned the water, waiting for it to warm up before stepping under it. No matter how much April loved him sweaty and 'manly' as she put it, he wanted to feel refreshed, re-energize and maybe help calm his nervous thoughts. He looked at the mirror above the sink, hand brushing over his whiskered jaw, trying to decide if it`s in need of a shave. His hair had grown a bit, instead of the scalp look he sported, dark brown hair started to cover his head, a look that softened him to a degree instead of looking like a cell inmate.

Stepping under the warm water, he let out a groan as his muscles started to ease and release the tension slowly, relieving him from the tension that rested between his shoulder blades all afternoon. He rolled them twice before resting his arms on the tile wall, head hung low; letting the water cascade on his lean body, wash away the day.

He thought back to the days when April had gone back to her home and life and he continued to be on the road, daily phone calls and texts have kept them connected while apart. He had stayed over the phone with Colt for hours thinking of ways to propose to her. He had been extra picky and several ideas were thrown out of the window because he wanted it to be right. Frustrated, he had racked his brain for something decent to do until Colt reminded him that his girl was as simple as they come. She had no need for expensive exotic surprises or outrageous ways to ask her to share her life with him.

_"You could ask her in your boxer briefs and the stinking Ramos shirt and she`ll say yes! Just be honest and tell her why you want to marry her!"_

He`ll just tell her how he feels, how he loves her and produce _The _ring.

Easier said than done!

He felt tongue-tied and his mind blank of words to speak and she was not even here.

_I can do this! I love her and I`ll tell her and shove the stupid ring in her face..._

_Why did I buy such an ugly ring..._

He turned off the water, a towel hung around his hip and the other around his neck. Drying off he, he put on a clean shirt and jeans just as the door bell rang. Frowning as the clock showed 5.30 PM, thirty minutes earlier from when April was supposed to be home. He headed to the door and he couldn't help the thoughts that crept in...

_April has keys..._

**Meanwhile, across town:**

"I really hope you think this through before giving me an answer, perhaps have a look around before giving your finale decision"

She rose from her seat, shaking the elderly yet elegant woman across from her "Thank you again! I`ll be heading out now"

"Very well. Have a pleasant evening dear!"

She closed the door softly, letting out a breath she didn't realize she`s been holding. She shook her head, already putting the meeting behind her back, just like the one before and the one before that... A glance at the clock hanging in the secretary's office told her she better hurry if she wished to spend as much time with Phil for his two days off he decided to spend with her. Squaring her shoulders, she headed out of the building where she spent years working on her talent, maturing as a woman and as a dancer, where she mended pieces of her broken life and got back up on her two feet on her own.

She stood outside, away from the people who seemed to be in a rush to get somewhere. They`d walk all over her if she stood still as they maneuvered around her. Seeing the human traffic, her chances of stopping a cab was very slim to none. She turned left, and right then she decided to walk home since it was a ten minute walk, plus giving her the chance to buy Phil`s favorite chocolate cup cakes from the bakery a block away.

Fifteen minutes later, she was balancing the box of goodies as she turned the keys in the lock and opening the door "Lucy! I am home" her giggles bounced off the silent apartment. Putting the box on the chair near the door, she shrugged off her jacket, hanging her bag and scarf with it. Her smile dropped the further she got and a cold tight grip grasped around her heart. The TV was off, glass shreds were near a wall and the stains on what used to be white walls indicated that someone threw filled glasses in a moment of anger.

She knew something was definitely wrong.

He had heard her come in, her voice all cheerful and dripping with love directed at him. His eyes burned and he pinched the bridge of his nose to hold the stinging tears at bay. He felt his body ready to snap like a twig and hurling the glasses against the wall had not helped him calm done any. The black velvet box laid on the table, taunting him when the light reflected off the diamond nestled inside.

His back was to her as he sat on the couch hunched over, his shoulders wide and squared off, almost ready for a fight... or desperately looking for one.

"Phil?" she softly called his name, not wanting to startle him or set him off further more. He looked barely hanging to a thread as it was. When he didn't answer her or acknowledge her presence, she walked to stand in front of him. She reached her hand gripped his forearm, hoping he`d glance up or say something to her...anything other than the tense silence. He finally graced her with a look and she wished he hadn't. His eyes were steely, lacking a warmth she associated with him when he looked at her. His face was unsmiling, fists clenched and breathing through his nose far to quickly and she knew he was doing everything in his power not react physically to whatever that got him riled up this bad.

"What`s going on Phil?" she maintained a soft tune, hope to get something out of him, anything to help her know what had happened in the last hour before she got home.

"Funny! That is what I would like to know. What`s going on April?" his eyes dared her to lie or hide anything from him and she didn't. She had no idea what angered him this much.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don`t play dumb April!"

"Phil, what`s wrong?"

"This is what`s wrong." He waved a bunch of papers in her confused face, showing her what they were. When she reached for them, he snatched them away "No I`ll tell you exactly what it is" his hands shook as the paper crumbled more in his fists "Says here you got a contract to move to Paris as a part of an exchange program with your damn school and this " he waved a paper that was miraculously intact "Is a plane ticket to Paris. Departure date two weeks from now" his voice cold as he spat the words at her.

"I can explain…" she reached for him, feeling him slipping through her fingers as seconds ticked by.

"Is it true?"

"Phil just let me ex-"

"Are you fucking leaving me?" his face was red, eyes ablaze with anger as he towered over her glowering waiting for an answer she wasn't sure she had.

**_You said you'd be there,_**  
**_You said it'd last forever,_**  
**_I guess you never really meant it baby,_**  
**_Did you baby?_**

* * *

**Now now! Don`t have my head yet! LOL**

**When you were mine by Lady Antebellum**


	27. Chapter 27

**_~!We have kept a lot on to the trouble _**  
**_Traded water in a sea of tears _**  
**_Now we're shooting arrows across your night sky _**  
**_Tryin' to land in your atmosphere!~_**

Stunned, she stood in front of him. The only time she had seen him like this was when he demanded to know why she left all those years ago. That was a long time ago and she never thought she`d be in the same place again.

Quickly she tried to collect her thoughts. _Contract. Ticket. Paris_. She willed herself to remember every goddamn detail in order to tell him everything. In order for him to believe her. Three meetings she went to, all offering her a two years contract to go abroad; Paris specifically along with a plane ticket to visit the school. She didn't sign anything or even gave her consent but she didn't refuse either. So why was he assuming she was accepting the offer? Behind his back nonetheless!

_"I have sent someone with your contract and the plane ticket. They should be in your mailbox by this afternoon."_

She remembered what she had been told at the meeting today. Phil must have opened the door and received them and thought the worse. She knew he was very well justified in his outburst, especially with her track record of up and leaving without him knowing. And now more than ever, with them building their relationship, trust was fragile and this could very well set them back.

_Alright, time to do some serious damage control._

She closed the gap between them, wanting to soothe his apparent fears. She knew he wasn't angry as much as he was scared. Scared that she was leaving him again. Her arms circled his waist tightly and even with the kitten heals she had on, the top of her head barely reached his shoulders. In her embrace, his body as stiff and his arms unresponsive, hanging limply at his sides. Determined not to let this deter her from reaching out to him, she raised herself, standing on tippy toes and at the same time her hand curled around his neck, forcefully tugging him down and planting her warm lips to his frowning ones. She was used to him giving back as much as he got and his closed lips felt alien but still she pushed, bringing her body closer, the arm still circling his waist had traveled up his back over his arm to rest above his rapidly beating heart.

It was like she was taunting him. Stepping into his arms, kissing him, showing him how heavenly she felt and that in a few weeks time, she was vanishing and leaving him behind. He willed his body to stay rigidly unresponsive. When she hugged him, he clamped on the instinct on wrapping his own around her and crush her to him. He`d never allow her to leave his embrace. She knew of her power over him and that his own was helpless against her, had proven to be weak more than once. However if she thought she was distracting him from the situation, she had another thin...

_Fuck! She`s utilizing her heavy artillery ..._

Her lips tasted as sweet as he remembered them being, even if his own were stubbornly closed against her sensual assault. And when she forcefully tugged him more to her level, his body betrayed him and most importantly his heart did too. He held her to him, drowning in the hazy emotions she could only make him feel, drowning in her taste, and very well aware that the thing he needed the most, he wanted the most was within his grasp and he was facing the possibility of losing it.

If he felt like cold water was dumped on him when he opened the door and was informed of what the purpose of those damn papers, the thought of losing her so newly found snapped him into action. He didn't know reason nor logic, all he knew was the woman he loved, the one that he should be proposing to instead of this was in danger of being lost to him. Without breaking their feverish kiss, he gripped the back of her thighs, pulling her off the ground, and they instinctively wrapped around his waist, his hands curved around her round firm bottom to support her, the other disappearing in the mass of wild hair,clenching at the nape of her neck; angling her face to better taste her; their kiss almost turning out of control.

The shreds of glass crunched under his sneakers as he passed the broken mess in his way to her bedroom. His lungs burned, longing for air as he went deeper in the dimly lit room, the open windows filtering disperse rays of the sun as it was sitting, bathing the room in a soft golden hue.

Her own lungs burned for precious air he robbed her of and with a gasp she tore her lips from his own burning ones, her head tilted back, swan-like neck bared, flesh vulnerable to his attacks as he scorched a path of kisses and nips from her jaw, down the column of her neck until he rested where shoulder and neck met, bathing her skin with his warm labored breath.

For a while the sound of their heavy breathing as it turned back to a semi-normal state was the only thing that filled the room until she started to feel his lips moving against her skin and his low voice that was barely audible to hear but was screaming in her head.

_"Don`t leave me!"_

How could she so selfishly break the only man she had ever loved? Knowing that a conversation with them so intimately pressed together was not possible, she uncrossed her legs, and he set her down gently on the floor, his face now visible to her and it was clear he was so very upset. Her better half was not known for showing vulnerability very often and she could count on one hand the times she had seen him so open; where his emotions were swimming in his eyes. She had done this to him, she was the one behind his apparent suffering and she was going to fix it. One way or the other.

She tugged him closer, both now sitting at the foot of her soft bed, his body leaned to the side and his head now rested in her lap, where she played with the short hair that was steadily growing. How she missed his noodle head as she had affectionately referred to his blonde and black locks, irritating him when she was a mere teenage kid with a crush on the bad boy across the street. She wished they could go back to those simple almost innocent times. Where all she wanted to do was dance and be with him. No drunken father. No running away. No heartaches and no missing years.

His body protested at the odd angle he was leaning into but he didn't care nor would he change it anytime soon. Her hands brushed over his forehead and head softly, almost soothingly, her other was clasped with his and he rested the joined hands under his chin. He had gone from trying to tear her to pieces to ravish her small body to settling down in her lap like a goddamn wounded animal.

"I am not leaving okay" She felt his body relax, and he let out a heavy breath like some heavy weight was lifted up from his shoulders. And she guessed that was true in his case, he was worried about what this was meaning to their relationship, how it will drive them apart so soon after finding each other. "Are you willing to listen to me before you judge me?" her voice was still low, soft as if she was talking to a frightened child she did not want to upset or hurt.

"Remember the lady you said looked like a librarian with a stick up her ass. Well she has been looking for dancers to ship off to both Paris and Moscow as a part of an exchange program. Maggie had already agreed and much to her luck she had been sent off to Moscow. She`s been bitchin` and moaning to come home. About a week or so, the director called me into a meeting and offered the same contract to Paris for two years. Expenses covered right down to a monthly pay along with the salary. I have been meaning to tell you about it face to face today instead of on the phone but I have been blindsided. The plane ticket is for a visit to the school, a way to tempt me".

He let her words sink in. _She`s not leaving!_ kept ringing in his head. He was happy and how could he not be? The woman that was close to being his wife..his life partner was staying here..with him.

"Are you?" he asked still doubtful. She had the chance to fulfill her dreams and see the world and yet here she was turning it down to stay with him. Would she have said yes if he wasn't in the picture? Was she staying out of guilt or was she genuine about her wish to stay here?

"Am I what?" Her hands tightened around him. Her legs were starting to be numb but she wasn't about to move them and disturb the calm that descended on them. He was back to the man she knew he tried to bury and not show deep inside. He was scarred and broken, just as she was but he hid and hid it very well under arrogance, brutal honesty and his fly off the handle attitude. He was showing her a side he deemed weak, trusted her enough to let his guard down and she`d be damned if she broke his trust again.

"Tempted?"

"No!" She had said it with so much conviction that it left no room to doubt her or her decision. She was staying because she wanted to. "I finally have something good here. I have you here and that`s all I ever wanted. That`s all I will ever need."

His neck hurt like hell but he didn't care as he rose from his position to look at her face, searching her eyes for any lingering hesitation, anything to make him doubt her sincerity and her words. Nothing. Her eyes were not sad nor guarded. The brown eyes that haunted him since he saw them on the face of a seventeen years old girl were warm, loving and overwhelmingly honest.

"I was scared you`d leave!"

"I know"

He dropped a kiss on her forehead before resting his own against it, noses touching and eyes closed. His hands made a quick work of her shirt, throwing it over his shoulder on the floor, seconds before his own joined in. Shoes and socks flung in a haste only known to hungry lovers aching for one another. She moved back on the bed, raising her hips long enough to shimmer the jeans down her legs, thighs parting to welcome him and cradle him close to her as he hovered above her.

"I love you"

She rose to press her lips to him, the kiss deepening instantly as her hands roamed the expanse of his bare back, down his jeans class bottom and around his front to unzip the restraining garment and push it past his hips.

"I love you too!"

**_~!If we can make it through the storm _**  
**_Become who we were before _**  
**_Promise me we'll never look back _**  
**_The worst is far behind us now _**  
**_We'll make it out of here somehow _**  
**_Meet me in the aftermath!~_**

* * *

Three more chapters before we close the book on this story!

-Sam


	28. Epilogue

**_~! It's funny how  
The walk of life  
Can take you down  
Without a fight !~_**

**_Somewhere in the near future..._**

"..and even when you booed the crap out of me, I still came out every single time because I loved doing this more than anything. Because this was all I could do, all I ever wanted to do."

The flash of cameras was almost blinding, and he tried to hold the stinging at bay. He wasn't an emotional sap. He was a grown man. A hardened wrestler and CM Punk never cries, and certainly not in front of thousands of fans at the packed arena and millions watching him at home.

"So what if I had to go through injuries, bruises and surgeries just to be able to compete in front of all of you. If I had been asked... if I`d do it all over again, I would. In a heartbeat. Because regardless of the hardships, I have reaped so many rewards. I have made friends that I would never dreamed of making. Competed with best that this business had to offer. I went from a guy who used to wrestle in backyards to winning back my WWE championship on the grandest stage of them all. WrestleMania."

His hand went to the 30 lbs. golden belt, wrapped around his waist proudly. It was the last piece of his career puzzle. Main eventing WM and having a clean win. No Shield. No Paul Haymen. No Big Show. No special guest referee. It was all him. Pinning the former WWE champ for the title. His title. That was what he always dreamed of doing. What he bled, sweated, and worked for. The reason he had put up with bullshit storylines, playing second best to John, always treated as the black sheep of the herd. It all had accumulated to that moment.. a moment of completion. A moment that cemented his place as a legend. A moment that confirmed what he was; The Best In The World.

"I have talked so much in my years here, so I just want to take one last second before I step out of this arena, of this squared ring and out of the WWE to say thank you."

He flipped the mike, dropping it in the same fashion when he used to drop pipe bombs during promos. 'Thank you Punk' chants broke out, not a single boo heard and the urge to let the tears roll was hard to clamp on. Everyone was finally acknowledging what he had accomplished. This was the respect he had been seeking and demanding. This was what he hoped to be one day.

A legend.

Kofi was the first to join him in the ring, sharing a brief yet tight hug before parting. He was saying goodbye to his road wife. A person he traveled with since debuting all those years ago. A brother to him, much more than his own flesh and blood ever was.

Rey was next. The small masked wrestler has been on helluva an opponent and a friend. Haymen embraced him next, and he hugged the man back, the person who believed in him when no one did, one who helped him embark on this journey from day one. No one knew what to do with him but Paul knew. He took one quick look at him and he knew he was destined for greatness.

On the ramp, the rest of the locker room was present, showing their respect for him. Respect he sought hard to get each and every single night he came out and wrestled. Respect he demanded throughout his heel turn late 2012. Respect that he earned as he faced Rock, Undertaker, Brock and John head on.

They all stepped back, as the former WWE champ made his way to the ring, slipping between the ropes, coming to stand in front of him. For years, they fought tooth and nail to get the right to hold the title around his waist. Many feuds, matches and epic promos made them the headlines of the company. The golden boy, baby face of the company and the guy who was not supposed to have made it past the security gates.

People always thought that he and John were real life enemies. That wasn't the case. They respected the hell out of each other and had a healthy competition to one up the other. He held his hand in front of him for John to shake, his green eyes locked with the icy blue of the man. Long seconds passed before a dimpled smile stretched the face of John, his bulky arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. Excited cheers sounded as his own wrapped around John, patting his back, before drawing back.

"Gonna be boring without ya" _A code for 'I`ll miss you.'_

"I`ll miss you too you big lug" he wasn't afraid to show how much he`ll miss his sparring partner in the gym for years or how he`ll miss trying to suppress their laughter during serious promos. He will miss John Cena. Period.

In a show of true sports and friendship, he raised the hand of John high in the air much to the delight of everyone. This is what true champions are made of. It`s not about the title, about cheers and boos, loses and wins. It was all about respect. About showing no matter where you came from or who you are, your dreams and achieving them is what defines you as a man, as a human being.

Philip Brooks from Chicago, IL had a dream of becoming the best in the world. Today, he was leaving the WWE as 'The Best In The World'.

_Just like I promised you April._

**_~!So many years  
Can leave behind  
Regretfully until it's time  
To realize the moment  
When you turn around!~_**

She closed the door with a soft _click,_ walking back to the dimly lit living room. The wall opposite of the window twinkled as Paris`s lights shined bright through the sheer peach curtain. The soft glow of the TV creating shadows on the peach walls, the small shelf of knick knacks from all over the places she had been, their shadows on the walls, creating interesting shapes.

She sat in the plush sofa, drawing the knit quilt of her mother`s around her shoulders, tucking her feet underneath her as she set eyes on the TV again. She hit play and the her screen was filled with his green eyes and pierced lip. He filled the frame with his height and breadth. Bulky shoulders, muscled arms, narrow waist and strong long legs. His washed up jeans, a black shirt and his trusted Cubs hat, he was perfection. He walked with a purpose, his eyes taking in each and every single thing in the arena, knowing it was the last time he`ll stand as their champion in a ring he competed in for the last ten years.

_"I had the time of my life. I had a dream and I lived it to the fullest. How many can say that?"_ she saw him glance at his feet. Feet that were normally in wrestling boots, were now in worn red sneakers. Just another reminder that he put those boots down for the last time probably to never wear them again_ "I am leaving knowing that I`ll always have a home here in the WWE. Have brothers and sisters in those who compete with me for you every night. I am leaving knowing that for each time my ugly mug was on TV, I was a part of someone`s family, I was part of the WWE universe, I was a part of each and every single one of you."_

Unaware, a lone tear made its way down her right cheek as she blinked. He looked straight in the camera, his achingly beautiful face filling the screen. His olive green eyes shining bright with barely held tears. She knew this was hard on him and the guilt consumed her with a burning vengeance. She should have been there with him, waiting for him behind the curtain, where she knew everyone was waiting for him. She should stand by him in the most life-changing moment of his entire life. Showing him that at the end of the day he still had her in his corner. Show him the same support he showed her when he encouraged her to accept the job offer that would take her away, to peruse her dreams and that he`ll always wait for her back home. Yet here she was, thousands of miles away from him, setting in her apartment watching him through a glass window that captured him, all of his glory, love, and faults and plastered it for all to see. She didn't feel him through the TV, nor could she touch him. Why? Because she was here in Paris living her 'dream' and he was saying goodbye to his.

_"Now it`s time to have my own family."_

Her hand twisted the ring that hung over her chest in a golden chain around her neck. His promise ring that he had given to her last year. They had promised each other that one day when they felt it in their guts that the time has come to start their own first shared dream would he slide that ring on her finger.

He had finished his dream.

Had she?

In the span of the two years they have been apart, she had improved her techniques, performed in places she never thought she`d have the chance to set foot in, meet so many idols of hers that pleased the insane fangirl in her. She had matured both physically and emotionally. Being in her own and having to manage in a brand new culture has strengthened her personality and her spine was not straighter, walking with a head held high unlike the hunched over stature she had before when the pain and heartache weighted her down. He had been right as always. He pushed her to go much like a pigeon pushed her new babies and forced them to fly on their own, and she had done that.

_She found him sitting at the small balcony. His body wrapped in her mother`s quilt. It was almost 3 AM and his side had been cold when she reached for him. His shirt almost reached her knees as she swam in the fabric that fitted his body perfectly. _

_"What are you doing up?"_

_He looked at her. His face calm and almost serene like. His eyes bright despite the dark night. "Come here." She stepped into his embrace, her back to his chest as he wrapped the quilt around them. It was July and the summer sky was bright with twinkling stars. _

_"Remember the time I caught you sneaking off into the roof to watch a meteor`s shower or something" she laughed, remembering catching a glimpse of a dark figure near the tree at the front of the house, almost losing her balance. She had glared at him, the only thing she was comfortable doing around him so he won`t catch on her silly schoolgirl crush. _

_"I had followed you on that roof. I didn't know why, I just did. Remember what you asked me then?" He saw her nod her head, her eyes focused upwards, big and luminous. "You asked me how do you know which dream to follow! I told you"_

_"To follow the one that makes your heart sing" their voices blended together. He remember a talk of superheros they wanted to become. A talk of making it big. A talk of a big dream of a young girl who knew exactly what she wanted yet had no means nor ways to get there. Fast forward eight years later, her dream was being offered to her on a silver platter._

_"You had that smile on your face when you talked about going to Paris and becoming a Prima ballerina. It was your dream, wasn't it?"_

_She turned her body as his hand guided her around to face him "Yes but I was a kid then. Dreams change" _

_"No they don't. You gave up on that dream because you felt it was impossible for you to achieve it. They`re offering you your dream and your saying no April because of me" Her eyes grew big, the shine in them unmistakable. Her small hands circled his forearms tightly. Hands clammy and shaking in their grip._

_"It`s not true. I want to stay with you here"_

_He smiled wistful. He wanted to be selfish and keep her with him forever. Cupping her small face, her quivering lips and shaking body tugging at his heart "I do too, love. But I want you to go! I want this beautiful and amazingly warm butterfly to spread her wings and fly. I want to be selfish and keep you here with me forever but I don`t want you to resent me for preventing you from going" He pressed a kiss to her damp cheeks before drawing her to him. His gut twisted and a vise grip around his heart had him struggle to take a steady breath._

_"You love me enough to stay. I love you enough to let you go!"_

He stood at the ramp, taking one last look before disappearing behind the curtains. Stagehands looked at him before a round of applause broke out among the people who carried the show. Lighting, production, creative and security all offered their respect to him.

His huge frame cut through the throngs of people surrounding him. Paul or known better as Triple H, stood in front of him in his striped suit, his long blond mane cut to a more professional look to suit the COO position he occupied.

The air felt charged at the moment. Punk was known to give creative and authority hell on best days. Stubborn and uncooperative, both he and Stephanie had a hard time taming the rebellious champion, more days than not letting him have his say in his promos and storylines just to avoid a major war of butting heads.

He saw how his tongue poked his cheek, golden eyebrows dancing above mirth filled eyes and he knew his former boss was trying not to sass him on his last day.

So he couldn't be more surprised when he offered him his hand to shake and the look on his face must have been so funny to cause the people around him to snicker at his expense.

Firmly he put his tattooed hand in his, shaking the respected wrestler "It`s not an easy decision to bow out while you are on top of the world, and I respect the balls to make it. It`s better to walk out proudly on your own legs and terms rather than wheeled out on a chair a broken man. Been an honor to have wrestled with the best in the world."

"Thanks Paul."

"So what`s next for CM Punk?"

"Good question boss! Good question..."

**_~!Back in the day  
When I was younger  
I was so lost and proud  
I've gained the world  
But it will never  
Compare to what I've earned!~_**

He looked at the dark night sky and the huge building behind him. Once he`d set foot outside, he`ll be gone. No more CM Punk, Best In The World, WWE Champion. He`ll be back to being Philip Jack Brooks. A Philip he had no idea about or who the hell he was supposed to be. What did Philip like? What was he good at? What were his dreams and hopes? Was he even a good man?

Was he the man she fell in love with all those years ago?

Did CM Punk become him and erased Philip from existence?

Was CM Punk all he could be? All he would ever be?

Maybe it was a mistake to retire. Maybe he could go back. They said he was always welcomed there, he just had to say the word.

It`s not too late. He could go back to being CM Punk. The best the WWE had to offer. Entertaining fans, travelling the world, and being a living legend.

_Always on the road, always alone and forever missing out on his and April`s plans of a future._

Colt knew Phil just as he knew Punk. Knew that Punk and Phil were one and the same and yet different as night and day. Punk was a jerk, more so as a heel. He wrestled, good at kicking ass and taking names. Phil was blunt, took no prisoners. He`d rather be hated for what he was than loved for something he was not and will never become. Punk`s priorities were getting to the top, be the best and live his life inside that squared ring and hard mat. Phil`s were to be the best, have a family and have something to call his own and be only his.

Both Punk and Phil loved her. Two sides of the same coin wanted that far away ballerina, skipping on her pointe in the streets of Paris for the past two years.

Weekends and vacation split between Paris and wherever Punk was while on the road was hard on both. Even if those short visits renewed the spark in his friend's eyes, he knew none was satisfied and having to part ways after each meeting was taking a bit out of them, becoming harder since the past year or so and especially with their situation. In love yet with no official claim on each other. And while she was his just as he was hers and they were a family in every sense that the word meant, his friend longed to have a stable warm home unlike what he had in his childhood. To have a loving wife to share life with him. Phil didn't believe in marriage or that they would work from the experience of his parents and he was surprised when he had shopped for rings and asked him how to propose to April. If he was willing to overcome his hidden fear of failed marriages, he knew his friend loved her dearly to take that step with her.

Now Phil has accomplished what he had set out to do almost twenty years ago and was coming home once and for all. Was she?

Slinging the back over his shoulders, he wrapped his arm around Phil`s tense shoulders. This was no longer the wrestler. This was the man. A man he had no idea how to become. The change was probably scary for both and he`ll need a familiar face. One who was there, one who loved him as Phil and loved him still as Punk.

"Let's go home"

He wanted to ask, well scream, and say 'go home and do what?'. Sleep, he didn't sleep that much. Eat, clean, watch TV and then what? What was he supposed to do after wrestling for over twenty years of his life? Wrestling was all he knew how to do. Was all he wanted to do.

_No, it`s not._

He knew the dreams put on hold due to his choice of career. He dreamed of having his own tattoo shop. He dreamed of owning a gym. And hadn't he dreamed of becoming a comic writer or something? Yeah the wet dream of a 15 years old comic nerd in high school.

The only dream he was sure of at this point was have his own family. A wife, a kid, maybe more than one..possibly two..or maybe three...no four seemed better but then again five was the same as four... alright so a big family and a dog. A family picnic or a decoration of a Christmas tree to a holiday he never believed in. Suddenly being a soccer dad wasn't all that bad. Taking his kids to school, a snow fight and reading to them to sleep. He wanted all of those things. And he wanted them soon. And he wanted them with her.

The pang of losing what was supposed to be his first born still stung, a dull ache. Philip Jr was always visited and remembered and the reunion of his parents on his tiny grave every New Year`s eve were steps into healing and becoming whole again.

They walked to the parked SUV, throwing the bags in the backseat before settling at front. The radio playing some Rock tune as they drove.

"We`ll go home and then go get your woman"

Sounded heavenly. He was going to reclaim her. At the moment she was the only sure thing in his life. His anchor during the storm that had become his life.

**_~!I'm coming home  
To breathe again  
To start again!~_**

After much convincing and pleading, Scott agreed to leave him be for the day. After catching an early flight to Chicago to go home, he wasn't ready to step foot in his apartment, an apartment he bought whilst being CM Punk. He shook his head, he was being silly. He was a grown ass man and he was afraid to step foot inside his own home.

_House. It`ll be home when she`s living here as well._

His first smile since stepping out of the arena graced his face and he felt something shift and the gloominess of his situation brightened the more he thought about starting their family life as soon as possible.

He`ll call her once he showered and rested. Plan a long overdue visit to Paris, and either find a way for her to come back here or he`ll gladly move to live with her. Either way, their time was now and their future has arrived at last.

He was done hanging in the shadows, watching from afar whenever they separated due to the demands of their careers, skypeing every other day, and while her face was never less beautiful on his screen, he wanted to touch it, her in person. Kiss her, hold her and make love to her until he`s too old and gray to care.

Yes. This seemed like darn good dream to have now. His determination to make it in the WWE has panned out and he had done it. So will this. He`ll have the family he always wanted, he always craved and was deprived of as a kid.

A sober mother and a clean father, his kids will never suffer or need the things he had. Kids, many little grunts filling the house with laughter. Boys, girls or twins. He could care less. He wanted them all. Around him, surrounding him as he and April celebrated their fiftieth anniversary, their grandchildren there as well.

That was another thing. Marry her. Put a ring on her finger and make her his officially and while she had been his ever since he saw her dance in the warehouse and he had been hers ever since... they just took a little longer to figure it out.

He wanted it now. That bright, happy and loving future had to start now. Too impatient to wait until he got inside, he dialed her number, smiling at their happy grinning faces on his phone.

"Le numéro que vous appelez a été déconnecté. S'il vous plaît vérifier le numéro et réessayez plus tard. Merci." he waited until the US operator translated whatever the French chick was saying "_The number you are calling has been disconnected. Please check the number and try again later. Thank you."_

_No! No! No!_

His heart pumped double time, the blood burning as it rushed through his veins. Heartbeats loud enough to deafen him as he stood rooted to the spot.

_Check again. It`s probably nothing. Don`t jump to conclusions._

With shaking hands he redialed her number, again hearing the same message. Five times he tried and five times the French lady confirmed it to him. Her number was disconnected.

"Nessanesaanesaa" he scrolled through his contacts, pressing the phone to his ear frantically pulling his house keys from his pocket "Come one pick up " A sense of Deja Vu filled him. When she left him in NJ all those years ago. The old insecurities and hurt he tried to forget came rushing back with a vengeance.

Did she disappear when he needed her the most? When he wanted her the most? AGAIN?

_"Hay Phil?"_

"Hey. Have you heard from April?"

He could her rustling on the other side _"Yeah, she called me yesterday. Why? what`s wrong?"_

"I tried to call her earlier but her phone was disconnected" he tried to keep the panic out of his voice. He got hold of Nessa and she had heard from her not too long ago.

_It`s probably nothing._

_"It`s probably nothing"_ she echoed his thoughts and finally he was able to turn the key and open the door. He made his way to the dark apartment, flicking on some lights as he brought his bags inside.

_"Are you in your apartment?"_ Suspicious he answered with a hesitant 'yeah' before the line disconnected, the dialing tune blaring in his ears.

"Welcome home"

It was his mind. Always something wrong with his mind. And it was playing cruel jokes on him in his most vulnerable times. It took her visage probably, used her sweet honey voice to twist the knife and scar him so he forever be unhealed.

She watched as his back stiffened rigid by the door way. He had yet to turn his back and face her. She knew he must have assumed the worst and figured she disappeared again. This time with much more than his heart.

She shifted on her feet, adjusting the weight on one hip as she started to walk to him, seeing his face turned slightly sideways, hearing her boots echo on his floor loudly in the almost suffocating silence that descended on them.

"Phil"

His fervent whispered cut through her like a blade "Stop it please" Even after all this years, with how far they have come and overcome together and with how much they have gained together, there was still an insecurity hanging over their heads like a dark cloud.

"Dada"

Ella accomplished what she couldn't. She managed to make her father turn around, eyes luminous fearing to believe what he was seeing.

The 14 months baby drew her arms up, wanting him to hold her and in an instant she was perched up high, her face hidden in the crook of his neck, as he inhaled and kissed her, assuring him that she was here in his arms.

Another second and she was tucked in the other side of him, his face pressed in her long hair "I thought you were gone. You and Ella...that you left me" He closed his eyes, both his girls safely in his arms and breathed them in. His heartbeats slowed down and his body finally relaxing.

She felt a lump in her throat. She had a lot of making up to do. Smiling she realized she had forever to do it. And now she could start. With a single call, she`d be signing tomorrow with The Joffery dance company since her old contract would expire in a week time and she decided not to renew to be with him. Her and Ella`s thing has been flown here and the rest of the boxes shipped to be arriving tomorrow. She had been waiting for him here for the past hour. Waiting to start their future together.

It`s time to start their family.

"So does the offer of me moving in still stand?"

_The apartment was wonderful and fully equipped. The view was breathtaking. They laid on the bare mattress, void of blankets and cushions. It was plain and simple and they have picked it out together. He surprised her by flying off to Paris with her, help her settle before flying back to the states. They went shopping for food and the only furniture that seemed to be missing. A bed! _

_They had been laying next to each other, gazing at the soft peach ceiling. She curled around him, almost trying to disappear into him. Her messy mane hiding her face from him and for a moment he allowed her to before drawing her back to him. He pulled the object from his jeans, the ring catching light as he turned it around in his hand. "So I was thinking..."_

_She looked at him, her neck arched to see his face "About?"_

_"You know when you`re finished here and come back. You are going to need a place to stay since your apartment was rented to someone else."_

_"Finding an apartment in New York. I might as well go homeless now" she whined._

_"What I am saying is... you could come live with me" he offered, keeping the ring out of her line of sight for the moment._

_"In Chicago?"_

_He shrugged and nodded "I gotta few extra rooms" he offered casually._

_"You sure you want a girlfriend cramping your style?"_

_"I can live with that if she will be willing to become my wife when I ask her" he pulled the ring, surprising her by putting it on a chain to be put around her neck. "When you come home, I`ll put this on your finger properly"_

_"You`re just saying that so I`ll have no choice but to come back when I am done"_

_"I guess you`ll just have to come back and see" He pulled her back to him, feeling lighter and happy about their situation. They were going to survive this!_

_"If I come back and I say yes, hypothetically speaking. Your bachelor pad needs serious work done"_

_"Like?" They were planing for their future. They were going to be OK. _

_"Paint. Office. Nursery!"_

_"Nursery?" his voice like a kid and his eyes bright._

_"Nursery!" she confirmed._

"Of course. But I only have a nursery and a room with huge king size bed. If you fancy sharing, I don't mind"

She eased back and found him already looking at her. The green eyes of their daughter were peacefully shut, her dark hair softly framing her chubby face, rosy cheeks rested on his shoulders as she napped in the safety of his arms.

"I don`t mind. I don`t mind at all!"

_**~!I'm coming home**__  
__**From all the places **__  
__**I have been**__  
__**With nothing **__  
__**But a voice within **__  
__**That calls me…**__  
__**Calls me home!~**_

They were finally together. They were finally home!

_**The End.**_

* * *

"The Future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" **Eleanor Roosevelt. **

I have recently rewatched Randy Pausch`s motivational speech, may he rest in peace, titled 'The Last Lecture'. If you have not seen it, boy you really ought to. It`s about fulfilling childhood dreams and enabling others to fulfill their own. I realize this is a fan fiction and I should not take it seriously, blah blah blah LOL. I didn't introduce the Paris job offer to inflict drama or obstacles for the couple who went through enough. I wanted to show that love is not always perfect and it is sure ain`t easy. It is hard work. It is understanding and most of all it does beat the odds stacked against it if two people are committed both physically and emotionally to make it work. Punk, the real person, believes in going after your dreams and I didn't see how it can be different in a work of fiction. He would encourage her to go after hers.

What can I say? I was in an inspirational mood! ;)

Want to say:

Thanks for who had read, reviewed and followed this story! A special thanks to **Red Foxie** for always being there to help, beta for me and offer a nice sound advice!

Thanks to my buddy **Matt** AKA **Raiden519** for bouncing ideas with me, being a great friend and a die hard AJPunk shipper! He`s the best!

Hope you enjoyed this!

I`ll miss you xoxo

-Sam


End file.
